From: Roland Warner Subject: MiSTed: The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory (1/4) Date: 1998/10/15 Message-ID: <36263E2C.629D@geocities.com> X-Deja-AN: 401432081 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 908475752 166.82.133.20 (Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:22:32 EDT) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. MIME-Version: 1.0 Reply-To: tom_...@geocities.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:22:32 EDT Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc [In the not too distant future . . .] [*...1...2...3...4...5...6] [Crow, Mike, and Tom are standing around the table.] Mike: Okay Tom, how about Elvis Presley? Tom: Elvis Presley was in "King Creole" with Walter Mathau, who was in "JFK" with Kevin Bacon. Crow: Well, that rules out anyone in "JFK" then. [Mike notices Cambot.] Mike: Oh, hi everyone. We've just discovered that Tom has this program inside him called "Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon" which can match *any* actor with another actor that's been in a movie with Kevin Bacon in less than seven hits! Crow: Okay, now we've gotta get rough with him. Let's see here, what about Steve Reeves? Tom: Steve Reeves was in "Il Giorno più corto" with Tomas Milian who was in "JFK" with Kevin Bacon. Crow: Argh! "JFK" again! Mike: I know, Tom Bartlett from "Hobgoblins". Tom: Checking. Tom Bartlett was in "Hobgoblins" with Ken Abraham, who was in "Girlfriend from Hell" with James Daughton, who was in "Animal House" with Kevin Bacon. Crow: Ken Abraham? Who's that? Tom: Oh, he was that pathetic thug in front of Club Scum. Mike: Hey, I know! Bharbara Egan from "The Final Sacrifice"! Tom: Checking. Oooh, good one, Mike, but Bharbara Egan was in "The Quest of the Lost City" a.k.a. "The Final Sacrifice" with Shane Marceau, who was in "Killer Image" with Michael Ironside, who was in "Top Gun" with Tom Cruise, who was in "A Few Good Men" with Kevin Bacon. Mike: Damn! Crow: I know, how about Michael Berry from "The Final Sacrifice"? Tom: Michael Berry was in "Beyond the Law" with Linda Fiorintino, who was in "Queen's Logic" with Kevin Bacon. Crow: Okay, Adrienne Miles from "Werewolf". Tom: Adrienne Miles was in "Nemisis" with Brion James, who was in "The Player" with Julia Roberts, who was in "Flatliners with Kevin Bacon. Give up, you guys, there's no way to beat the system! Mike: He's right, Crow. It's impossible. [The Mad's Light flashes.] Mike: Yes, Dark Pearl? [Castle Forrester] Pearl: Ah, Michael J. Nelson, hello. [Bobo enters carrying a load of beer bottles.] As you can see, we're doing a bit of Winter Cleaning, and that means that we've got to clear out the entire castle. Of course, I have Brain Guy searching the web for your next post, and I can't clean because I'm too good to clean, so Bobo's doing all the work. [Observer enters carrying his brain, which has been severely burned to a crisp. He bumps into Bobo who flies off screen and we hear a giant crash as the beer bottles hit the ground.] Observer: Pearl! I've found it! The worst post possible, but it's so bad, my brain has become completely unstable! I don't even know what's going to happen next. [Bobo enters again, carrying the same load of beer bottles.] Observer: Uh-oh, time is looping now! [Bobo starts walking backwards with the beer bottles, then forwards, and then the bottles are gone.] Bobo: Hey, that was easier than I thought! Pearl: Brain Guy, send them that post! Observer: I can't, it's too horrible for them! Pearl: Send it, NOW! Observer: *gulp* Yes, Pearl. [Turns to the camera.] Mike, Robots, your post today is, perhaps, the worst Conspiracy Theory ever. It's called "The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory" and I really do have to apologize sincerely for this. [Brain music.] Good luck. Pearl: Get busy on those dishes, Brain Guy! Observer: Yes'm. [SOL] Mike: Uh-oh guys, I don't like the sound of this. Crow: C'mon, Mike, we've survived Manos, Monster A Go-Go, Hobgoblins, the worst! I don't think it could get any worse! Tom: You just jinxed us, Crow! [Lights flash, chaos ensues.] All: Ahhhhh! We've got Paranoia.Sign! [6...5...4...3...2...1...*] [Mike carries Tom as the enter the theater.] > THE JAMES CAMERON CONSPIRACY THEORY > (The Conspiracy Theorists Cut) > ___________________________________________________ > Note: this copy of the James Cameron Conspiracy Theory contains never > before seen information that wasn't in the online version. Tom: Waitaminit, isn't *this* the online version? Mike: Just try not to think about it. > > WARNING: The information contained within the 19.5 pages of this document > will shake the core of all your belief systems. Crow: It will make you get down and get funky. > If you are prepared to > read it, do so with extreme caution. Tom: Women who are pregnant should not use or handle the James Cameron Conspiracy Theory > You and the world will never be the > same again as history itself collapses before your eyes. Crow: Whoops! Looks like Czar Nicholas II just imploded! Mike: Look out - the Medean Empire is suffering massive structural failure! Tom: Run for your lives! William Howard Taft is melting! > ___________________________________________________ > > Being one of the most successful movies in the world is an astounding > statement from people who have seen James Cameron's "TITANIC". Mike: Try diagramming that sentance. > It is a > reflection of how many people have been affected by the imagery and emotion > within the film. Tom: Particularly 14-year old girls with Leonardo posters on every square inch of their walls. > Although there have been those who have found fault in > parts of Titanic's technical side, the emotional side turned out to be > perfect; or was it deliberately engineered that way? Tom: Well *Duh!* It's called a script. > Some have called > the emotion within Titanic manipulative to the point of deliberately > having scenes that elate, sadden, shock and anger the audience. Tom: It's much more effective to just throw the movie together haphazardly and see what plays. Mike: And we've seen dozens of examples of that. > > This manipulation is an interesting aspect of Mr. Cameron's work. No > matter what he works on or writes, the emotional atmosphere always is > perfect in the finished product and according to Cameron is "biographical" > of his life. Tom: So Cameron is a soldier from the future who came back in time and sunk on the Titanic to the bottom of the ocean where he found some aliens who almost destroyed the world? Crow: Nah, Cameron was actually chased around LA by a killer android, got a wiggle dance from Jamie Lee Curtis, and struck a giant iceberg and sank. Mike: Hey, they both sound like movies in themselves! > Born in Kapuskasing, Tom: Remember, when you need a case for your kapus, call Kapuskasing! > Ontario Canada in 1954, James Cameron > grew up in Niagara Falls. All: NIAGARA FALLS!!!!!! > He has always strived to be the best, whether > they were class projects or playing soldier with his friends. According > to Cameron's "official" biography, his childhood created the drive to > overcome obstacles which stood in his way and would help later in life. Tom: He ate lots of back bacon and mayple syrup and went to hockey games- Mike: That's *enough* Tom. > > At this point in history, another person, who shares the surname Cameron, Crow: Cameron Diaz? Mike: Cameron Diaz *IS* Kate Winslet in "There's Something About Icebergs". > was at work making progress manipulating behavior and emotion for a > deliberately engineered goal. The person is Dr. Donald Ewen Cameron. Tom: So Cameron actually spent his childhood as a mad scientist? > > Dr. Cameron began his career in psychology assisting the Office of Special > Services (O.S.S.), interrogating prisoners during World War II. His most > famous patient was Rudolf Hess, who flew in a plane to Britain in order to > make a peace deal between Germany and the Allies. Hess was captured and > imprisoned and later was interviewed by several psychiatrists, including > Dr. Cameron. Mike: Bob Newhart... Crow: Sigmund Freud... Tom: Counselor Troi.... > Much of Dr. Cameron's work, involved psychiatric techniques > designed to modify and control a persons behavior patterns. Mike: That research was later used to make people like the Spice Girls. Tom: Really? Mike: Ah, No. > Dr. Cameron's > work was derived from experiments performed on concentration camp prisoners > in Nazi Germany and brought to the U.S. after World War II by the O.S.S. > under "Operation Paper Clip". Crow: Hang on, here we go. Tom: Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a paranoid ride! > > In the 1950's, Dr. Cameron's successful work led to his appointment as head > of the American Psychological Association (APA), the Canadian Psychological > Association (CPA) and the World Psychological Association (WPA). Tom: Wow, he held all three championship belts at once! Crow: Yeah, but he almost lost it all when Robert Murton dropped him with a baseball bat during a cage match. Tom: Wow! > By this > time the O.S.S. had changed it's name under President Harry Truman's > Administration to become the Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.) in 1947. Mike: Before being purchased in a leveraged buyout by Sumner Redstone in 1991. > Dr. Cameron was contracted by the C.I.A. to continue his work in behavior > manipulation under Projects Bluebird and Artichoke which would later become > MK-ULTRA in 1953. Crow: Servo, write that down - feeding a bluebird an artichoke gives it Ultrapowers! Tom: D'Oh! I've been on the wrong track with the broccoli, then! > > MK-ULTRA had several sub-programs, approximately 149, from fields ranging > from biology, drugs, sexual activities, technology, physics, psychology and > even motion pictures. Mike: and a course in conversational Klingon, but you couldn't get credit hours for it. > It's no accident that movies created in the > McCarthy era in the 1950's, were designed to scare the public about the > threat of Communists, brainwashing or space aliens. Hollywood's motion > pictures became a tool of MK-ULTRA. Mike: So it would follow that this means the CIA is responsible for us being up here, and - Tom: Careful, Mike - that way lies "The Project"! Besides, it was just a bad program that had a cool name. Crow: KNEEL BEFORE ME! FOR I AM MK-ULTRA! Tom: Whoa! > > In the world of psychiatry, Dr. Cameron was a relentless, merciless man > driven by a need to know how to control and modify human behavior, in other > words, direct it. Mike: He could've used a retaining wall, a good canal system. Tom: With some flood-gates and high capactiy resovoir? Mike: Exactly. > His most common experiments were drug inducement, > sensory deprivation, sensory overload, as well as "psychic driving", Crow: Miss Daisy. > the > process of replaying his voice recorded in previous sessions with his > patients. Dr. Cameron also performed prefrontal lobotomies and > electro-conclusive shock treatments. Crow: But no one ever mentions his Blue-Ribbon Tuna Casserole. Mike: Or his highway clean-up program! Tom: Bastards! > > According to the CIA's charter, Dr. Cameron's work, especially in creating > potential "Manchurian Candidates" would have violated the ban on domestic > CIA operations within the United States. CROW: Not to mention John Frankenheimer's copyright. > With the help of the Canadian > government and C.I.A. Director Allen Dulles, who was one of Cameron's > colleagues in the O.S.S., Dr. Cameron relocated his work to the Allen > Memorial Psychiatric Institute in Montreal, Canada in 1957 and stayed there > until 1963. Tom: Where he resumed going to hockey games and speaking french and- Mike: I said that's *enough* Tom. > > On a side note, Allen Dulles would run the C.I.A. until after the Bay of > Pigs fiasco, when he and General Charles Cabell (brother of Earl Cabell, > the mayor of Dallas) Mike: It's a good thing he mentioned that, or I would have been bugged by that all day. Crow: Oh yeah. > were fired by President John F. Kennedy in 1961. > After the tragedy of John F. Kennedy's assassination on November 22, 1963 > in Dallas, Dulles was appointed to Warren Commission by Chief Justice Earl > Warren to help investigate the assassination and the background of supposed > assassin or patsy, Lee Harvey Oswald. Mike: It's never a good conspiracy theory until you tie it in to the Kennedy Assassination. Crow: You can bring on the Black UN Helicopters now! > > The Allen Institute would soon become an infamous brain butchery under Dr. > Camerons control. Many patients were subjected to extreme and harsh > conditions that included drug induced comas that lasted months, lobotomies, > bright lights, Tom: [Picard] THERE - ARE - FOUR - LIGHTS!!!!! > sounds, moving images and electro-shocking that were in such > excesses that it killed the patients. Mike: Death by "Soundgarden" videos. > Other creations of Dr. Camerons > butcher shop included the development of psychedelic drugs, most notably, > LSD. Mike: [Stoner] Dude! Crow: [Stoner] I told you he wasn't completely square, man. > > After Dr. Cameron left Montreal, he retired to private life in the United > States and vanished from the picture, but his work continued on in MK-ULTRA > until it was supposedly shut down by CIA Director Richard Helms in 1973. Tom: Budget cuts, ya know? > > Many of the documents from MK-ULTRA were destroyed on orders from Helms. Crow: Is he related to Jesse Helms? > Helms was also responsible for providing E. Howard Hunt with the > information necessary for the break-in at the Watergate hotel Mike: Sure, why *not* tie it in to every other conspiracy theory?! Tom: Is it time to mention Area 51 yet? > in 1972 for > the purpose of Tom: Finding a comfortable room at a reasonable rate. Mike: Yeah, good luck with that! > helping President Richard Nixon smear and psychologically > destroy Daniel Ellsberg. Ellsberg was the Pentagon aide who had leaked the > Pentagon Papers revealing Nixon's involvement in escalating the Vietnam > War. The resulting Watergate scandal would eventually lead to the > resignation of Nixon in 1974. Tom: Yeah, dur-hey! Crow: Like who doesn't know that?! > > The murky world of intelligence operations became murkier as names changed > to protect secrecy. MK-ULTRA simply assumed the new name MK-SEARCH and > continued on into 1984. Mike: Yeah, but all MK-ULTRA did was put on a pair of glasses and change its hairstyle. Tom: At least it fooled Lois Lane & Jimmy Olsen. > > In the late 1970's as MK-SEARCH(MK-ULTRA) Tom: Doesn't have the same ring to it as MK-ULTRA, does it? Crow: I don't know, let me try... I AM MK-SEARCH! -- I think you're right... > continued on the intelligence > front, a yet unknown film maker in California, named James Cameron decided > to quit his job driving trucks and get into the film making business. Mike: Oh yeah, I almost forgot! The subject! Tom: So Dr. Cameron retired from his mental experiments to drive trucks? Mike: I don't know... > > According to "official history" James Cameron, after moving to Brea, > California in 1971, had completed high school and attended five semesters > at Fullerton College in Orange County. Crow: Many students were subjected to conditions that included drug induced comas that lasted months, lobotomies, bright lights, sounds, moving images and electro-shocking. Tom: A typical college experience I think. > After dropping out, Cameron had > convinced a consortium of dentists Mike: Oh, great: one *more* reason to not like going to the dentist's! > from Tustin, California seeking a tax > writeoff to finance a short film in 35mm which he called "XenoGenesis". Tom: Coming soon from Dentifrice pictures: Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Linda Hamilton in "Toothenator II: Brushing Day"! > > The word "consortium" is interesting in itself; it's dictionary term is > given as "international business alliance". Since these dentists are from > a local area, why are they described in this manner? Mike: Because you described them in that way? Crow: Because you're a moron? > If "business" is > dropped from the definition, we're left with "international alliance" > meaning they belong to some large organization which envelops the world. Tom: And coats it with a protective layer of fluoride. > The use of the word "Xenogenesis" as the name of Cameron's first film was > also interesting since it meant "birth of an alien species". Crow: Mike, do we have any goggles around here? Mike: Why? Crow: He's streching the premise, and I think we should all wear eye protection in case it snaps. Mike: Oh. Good idea. > > In actuality, these "dentists" were "psychiatrists" and operatives > connected to the CIA's MK-ULTRA program and Dr. Donald Ewen Cameron. Tom: Of course! It's so clear! Cameron 1 and the psychodentists are funding Cameron 2 so he can make a crappy 35m film about, uh, uh... Mike: Lost it, huh? Tom: Dangit! I was *this* close! > James Cameron as well as the "psychiatrists" knew each other from a > fraternal organization they belonged to. Crow: The Lompoc, California "Star Trek" Fan Club. > This secret brotherhood helped > finance Cameron's first film and would continue to help his career. Tom: That organization was known as the Southern California Dental Association! Mike: *Gasp* No! > He > had entered this organization when he turned 21 years of age. The > majority of persons in intelligence community, including Dr. Cameron > belonged to the same organization, which is commonly known as the Mike: AMA? Crow: Sons of the American Legion? Tom: Tau Gamma Sigma sorority? > FREEMASONS Tom: Yes, the FREEMASONS: Frigteningly Realistic Energetic Entry-level Machinists And Sonambulists Of Northern Siam! Crow: Sure it's not the French Reactionist Elastic Ergonomic Monochrome Alpine Secret Online Nubian Seretaries? Tom: Yes. Mike: [Sarcasm dripping off every word.] Say, I'm fascinated by these "FREEMASONS" Tell me more! > > The Freemasons are a global fraternal organization that exist for the > express purpose of enlightening those who choose to join it's ranks. Crow: That doesn't sound so bad, sign me up! Tom: Yeah, me too! > According to public sources, Freemasonry was created in the 1700's in > Europe, but if one delves deeper into the mysteries that make up > Freemasonry, it is learned that the origins of the brotherhood trace back > to a highly advanced civilization named Atlantis which existed before the > one we're in now. Crow: Wha-? Tom: Okay, we started off with "Agent Action", then we swerved into alt.conspiracy, now suddenly it's John_-_Friggin'_-_Winston?!? Mike: I think I'm getting whiplash! > Much of the high technology, advanced thinking and > philosophical ideals were handed down through the generations in secret > after the "Great Flood" destroyed Atlantis. Mike: All right, we have Atlantis in the mix now! Crow: Is it safe to say he's just making stuff up at this point? Mike: Oh, yeah. Too bad none of it is his own stuff. > > This technology would be revealed to the people of the world once again at > a prescribed moment in time. Crow: Specifically, a quarter past 4 in the afternoon. > It's no accident the 20th Century is one of > the most technological achieving centuries in our civilization. Mike: God forbid it should be because human beings are thinking, inventive creatures. Tom: Have you *seen* MTV lately Mike? Mike: Well, not *all* human beings... Crow: Yeah, this guy for instance... > This > century saw the creation of techniques that would be used to control the > mind as we saw earlier in this document with the CIA's implementation of > Dr. Cameron's mind experiments and MK-ULTRA technology. Mike: Isn't this supposed to be about James Cameron? > > The reason the "consortium" approached James Cameron was for the opportunity > to use in the motion picture field for the purposes of subliminal imagery > and emotional manipulation on mass numbers of people and prepare them for > an engineered future. Crow: [basso] You *will* obey the CIA! Mike: [basso] You *will* make a whiny, effeminate teen heartthrob the biggest star of the century! Tom: [basso] You *will* use Trident, as recommended by 4 out of 5 psychodentists whose patients are mind-numbed! > > James Cameron continued on from his short-film project to enter the world of > Roger Corman. [Silence for a moment.] Crow: He did? Tom: No wonder he's the way he is. Mike: Maybe we've been too rough on him, guys. [Pause] ALL: NAAAAAAAAAAH!!! > The studio owned by Corman was aptly named "New World > Pictures". The "New World" was short for "New World Order" a phrase that > embodies the idealism of Freemasonry, a global government. [They laugh hysterically.] Tom: Yeah, Corman is the lynch pin in a global conspiracy! Crow: Yeah, the man who gave us "It Conquered the World" is a master of evil! Mike: You know, compared to the Roger Corman bit, the rest seems almost believable. > The phrase > wouldn't be uttered in public until 1991 by President George Bush(Former > Director of the CIA and 33rd Degree Mason). Crow: "Would you like to give up being a mason?" Mike: [Bush] "Not gonna do it!" > > Cameron worked as miniature builder, model unit DP and matte painter on a > film called "Battle Beyond the Stars" in which the title was symbolic of a > belief held by many in the UFO community as well as Freemasons, that an > ancient battle took place in this solar system thousands of years ago. Tom: Yes, thousands of years ago, the entire galaxy was ruled by an empire based on cheapjack special effects, sloppy plotting, and slipshod directorial ability! > The > idea was to use MK-ULTRA technology to begin preparing the masses for the > belief in extra-terrestials for the purpose of bringing humanity into the > "New World Order". Mike: Y'know, I've pictured Corman as many things, but "tool for world domination" was pretty far down the list. Crow: Yeah, somewhere between "ballerina" and "Oscar winner". > More of this would be used later in Cameron's film > career. > > Determined to get into directing, Cameron worked on another sci-fi film > with a symbolic name, "Galaxy of Terror". Crow: It occours to me that these movies might've been more successful as propaganda if people had actually *seen* them. > Cameron became second unit > director. Tom: And we all know that's where the real power is. > > In 1982, during the early years of the administration of President Ronald > Reagan(33rd Degree Mason), Crow: And 90 degree angle. Mike: A *right* angle, no less. > Cameron wrote "The Terminator" along with his > 2nd wife Gale Anne Hurd, who's a member of the Order of the Eastern Star, > a Masonic women's organization. Tom: Wow, secret organizations can get you chicks too?! Now I *really* want in! > > The basic idea of "The Terminator" involved sending a man back through time > to prevent a cyborg from killing a woman who would give birth to humanity's > savior who would save humanity from a world ruled by machines. Mike: Got it? Tom: Got it. Crow: I knew what the plot was until I read that sentence - now I have no idea whatsoever. In fact, I've even forgotten the movie ever existed! > The > symbology of this story was taken from the Bible with the woman's situation > somewhat compared to the "virgin mary" and humanity's savior paralleled to > her son. Mike: So Jesus battled killer cyborgs? Tom: Wow, The Bible comes alive! > > The Freemasonic symbolism in the Terminator was prevalent through out the > movie. One of the first signs was the use of "blue light" used in dark > situations and would later become one of Cameron's directing styles. Tom: As evidence when the Titanic struck a K-Mart and sank. > > The blue light was symbolic of Cameron's ascension from the first three > degrees of Masonry which are known as the blue degrees, to the next level > of degrees which are known as the York Rite. Tom: "York Rite" sounds more like a candy bar to me. Crow: "York Rite" - feel the sensation! > > The next symbol was the use of a particular set of words by one of the > characters who described the machines as "a new order of intelligence". > You can hear the words "New World Order" in the sub-text. Mike: Oh sure, if you read into it like that. Crow: I always hear, "Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?" in that line -- but that's just me. Tom: Well, he's two-thirds there anyway. > > The most concrete symbol was the name of the distributor for the film. Mike: "Absolute Power Pictures"? Doesn't sound suspicious to me. > Although Cameron worked with Hemdale and HBO to get the film made, the > film was distributed by Orion Pictures. Orion is symbolic of Osiris, the > ancient Egyptian god of the Sun and fertility. Mike: As evidenced by their bankruptcy. Tom: Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think? > > This sun-worship symbol is heavily used in Freemasonry to represent light > and fertility or the "compass" in the square and compass symbology of > Masonry. Osiris's counterpart Isis, Mike: Hey! She's the one that uses her zephyr winds that blow on high to lift her now that she may fly! Crow: Huh? Mike: Oh, it's a 70's Saturday Morning thing - you had to be there. > is symbolic of Sirius, Tom: "Sirius" is also what I'm having trouble taking this as. > the star system > in which some Freemasons believe they came from as well as being the symbol > for the carpenter's square in the "square and compass" symbol. Tom: I think the major problem with conspiracies is that everyone else is in on them and you're not. Mike: Are you in a conspiracy Tom? Tom: [Nervously] Heh-heh, no, why would you think that? > > The purpose of Orion's release of "The Terminator" was to be the first mass > use of Dr. Cameron's work in a James Cameron film. The film was designed > to imprint a subliminal message Mike: Namely, "Ah'll be back!" > to unconsciously prepare the public for a > higher form of technology to arrive on Earth in the future and if they > didn't go along with it, they would be exterminated. Crow: And that's the story of how the CD replaced the vinyl record. > Note that > "terminated" is part of "exterminated". Mike: And "Ass" is part of "Dumbass" Tom: And "Idiot" is part of "Idiotic" Crow: And "Stupid" is part of "Stupid Lame Moron" Mike: Well, I think you should just use one word that's part of another word. Crow: Well, mine was still in the same spirit though. > > While Cameron was unknowingly getting financing from the "consortium" Crow: I thought he *asked* them for the money! Tom: Yeah! Pay attention to your own theory buddy! > for > "The Terminator", he wrote two more scripts, "Rambo: First Blood Part II" > and "Aliens". The subtitle "First Blood Part II" from the Rambo title was > symbolic of Cameron's ascension throughout the York Rite degrees, Mike: Or it may have been some oxymoronic title marketing thought up... Crow: Hey! That's one, "Moron" is part of "Oxymoron!" Mike: No honey, that part's over now... > while > "Aliens" was being prepared as another step in manipulating the minds of > the public with MK-ULTRA technology. Crow: Hey, they can use a half-nekkid Sigourney Weaver to manipulate *me* anytime! [pause] What, Mike? No attempts to tone me down, or stop me before I double-entendre again? Mike: Nope. I officially surrendered last week. Crow: Geez, just take all the fun out of it, why doncha? From: Roland Warner Subject: MiSTed: The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory (2/4) Date: 1998/10/15 Message-ID: <36263E36.440@geocities.com> X-Deja-AN: 401432087 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 908475761 166.82.133.20 (Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:22:41 EDT) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. MIME-Version: 1.0 Reply-To: tom_...@geocities.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:22:41 EDT Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc > > After "The Terminator's" success, Cameron directed "Aliens" and began > production in 1985 in England. Mike: And thanks to Cameron, England is today a full-fledged country. Tom: I have this bad feeling this is all going to relate to Di's death, somehow! > The film was directed in England so > Cameron could receive the rest of his York Rite degrees in the town of York > while on breaks from shooting the film. Crow: So you have to recieve the York Rites in York? That's inconvienient. Tom: Still sounds like a stupid candy bar. Mike: Hey, look, the door's open! Let's go. [Mike picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater.] [*...1...2...3...4...5...6] [Crow is standing behind the table, wearing his flashing eyes and his net is upside-down. He starts shaking as Mike and Tom enter.] Mike: So you see, Corman was actually using "The Incredible Strange-" [He notices Crow.] What's with you, Crow? Crow: KNEEL BEFORE ME, FOR I AM MK-ULTRA! Tom: Uh-oh. Mike, looks like he's lost it again. Crow: ALL WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE THE RESULTS OF THE MIGHTY FREEMASONRY PROJECT! Mike: You aren't fooling anyone, Crow. Crow: AH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? I CAN PROVE IT. WATCH THIS! [A moment passes, as Crow starts shaking even more.] Tom: You see, you can't- ACK! I SHALL WORSHIP YOU, O MIGHTY MK-ULTRA. [Tom starts bowing before Crow. Realizing what he's doing, he props himself back up right.] Hey, that wasn't funny. Mike, make him stop! Mike: That's enough, Crow- Crow: MK-ULTRA! Mike: Crow! Crow: MK-ULTRA! Mike: Crow! Crow: MK-SEARCH! Mike: What? Crow: Oh, those Freemasons just changed my name AGAIN! Oh, forget them, I'll just stick to being Crow. Mike: Good, now, how did you get involved with these Freemasons? Crow: Well, they had an ad in the classifieds- [Lights flash, chaos ensues!] Mike: Tell me later, we've got Cameron.Sign! [6...5...4...3...2...1...*] [Mike and Tom enter the theater, followed by Crow and they take their seats.] Crow: KNEEL BEFORE ME, FOR I AM CROW! Mike: Well, he's back, Tom. Tom: *sniff* I kinda miss MK-ULTRA. > > Aliens, was the sequel to Alien, a 1979 movie about Earth explorers > searching another planet for use as a mining colony. When they got there, > they were slowly hunted down by the inhabitants of that world, which were > acid-blooded creatures; insect like as adults, and as snake-like parasites > when young that used the humans as hosts and eventually killed them by > bursting out of their chests. Aliens debuted in 1986. Mike: Thank you Leonard Maltin. Tom: But enough about Marilyn Manson... > > The film became one of the highest grossing 'R' rated films and also won > Oscars for Best Visual Effects and Best Sound. Mike: And a special Oscar for "Most endearing death of a character played by Paul Reiser". > It was fairly obvious to > anyone with the knowledge in this document that the fear and excitement > generated by the sounds and effects of the movie was the result of mind > manipulation for the purpose of further solidifying the fact that humans > will one day face a threat from outside this world and force them to unify > as one. Crow: Yeah, it's no coincidence that "CIA" and "ILM" both have three letters! > > Once Cameron has finished this film, he had completed his York Rite degrees > in Masonry and had moved on into the Scottish Rite. Tom: That's the one where he canna take mooch morra this! > It's also worthy to > note during this time in 1985 and 1987, 33rd Degree Mason President Ronald > Reagan had made several public statements alluding to a threat from the > "outside" that would unify the world. Mike: Yeah, and we all know how sane Reagan was. > > Before he had become governor of California, Ronald Reagan and his wife > Nancy had first seen a UFO over a highway near Hollywood while on their way > to a casual dinner with some of their celebrity friends. Mike: To their surprise, Dean Martin, Peter Lawford and Timothy Leary all reported the same thing. > The Reagans had > arrived an hour late for the dinner, extremely distressed and described > their experience. This would change the Reagan's view of the world > forever and would influence their future actions and public statements. Crow: Reagan saw something strange in Hollywood. Who hasn't pal? > > Among these "threat from the outside statements" included a speech on > December 4th, 1985 at Fallston High School in Maryland. Reagan was > describing a 5 hour private discussion with Soviet Premier Gorbachev Crow: [Reagan] Well, he said he liked Charlene Tilton, but I explained how Victoria Principal was the foxiest one on "Dallas". > and > Reagan told him(Gorbachev) to think "how easy his task and mine might be > in these meetings that we held if suddenly there was a threat to this world > from some other species from another planet outside in the universe. We'd > forget all the little local differences that we have between our > countries..." Mike: At which point Gorbachev smiled politely and began frantically ringing for the doctors Crow: It's a miracle we won the Cold War isn't it? > > On September 21st, 1987, in a speech before Congress (and this can be looked > up in the library in the Congressional Index), Reagan had said the > following; "In our obsession with antagonism of the moment, we often forget > how much unites all the members of humanity. Mike: [Reagan] We, we all have ten toes, more or less, and, and who doesn't like a nice popsicle every now and then? > Perhaps we need some outside > universal threat to make us recognize this common bond. I occasionally > think how quickly our differences would vanish if we were facing an alien > threat from outside this world". Something was going on, not only in > Cameron's films but the world's governments as well. Tom: Then the Eighties were suddenly over. > > Next on Cameron's list of films was the ABYSS, Crow: Tom? Tom: Oh, okay, *Ahem* Abnormally Boring Yardwork Still Sucks Mike: Good work Tom. Tom: Thanks. > a film about a group of oil > rig workers who help recover a sunken nuclear submarine and are unknowingly > being watched by another form of intelligence. In the special edition of > the film, it was made clear that the aliens were warning the human race to > come together as one or face destruction. Mike: I can't wait to see what he reads into "Titanic." Crow: Oh yeah, that might make all this worthwhile. Tom: Well, it better be good then. > > During the shooting of the movie, Cameron had been "trained" by the > "consortium" in techniques similar to Dr. Cameron's "Psychic Driving" Tom: Wait! You mean Dr. Cameron and James Cameron aren't the same guy?! Mike: That's a let-down. Crow: Yeah, I know. I think the conspiracy theory 'plays' much better if Dr. Cameron became James Cameron. Could we have that changed please? > by > pushing the workers and actors on the set to the limit. According to > published reports, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio was pushed to such a limit > that she now avoids Cameron like the plague. To this day, Ed Harris > refuses to even talk about his experience with Cameron on the set. Crow: And the water creature - phsht! Forget it about it! Tom: Or maybe James Cameron is one of those aloof, insensitive directors, it's been known to happen. Mike: Yeah, this guy is pretty good with his conspiracy theories, but he knows *nothing* about Hollywood. > "The > Abyss" was also the first movie with the "morphing" technique which makes a > photo-realistic computer animation which was used to spellbound the > audience. Mike: Oh no! The evil Spellbinder has them in his control! All is doomed! Crow: No, look - it's a word! Tom: It's a plan! ALL: It's - LETTERMAN!!!! > The film had also gained Oscars for Best Visual effects, more > proof of MK-ULTRA now being involved with the addition of computer > technology. Tom: I don't think a squiggly water creature equates to mind control. Mike: I don't know, it kind of made me thirsty. > The film was released to the public in 1989. This was the same year as the > swearing in of President George Bush and fall of the Berlin Wall in Germany > which was a staged event by the Masons to prepare the world for a global > coming together as one. Mike: It's true. In fact, the wall is still up, Communism never fell, and Ginger never left the Spice Girls. > The name "Abyss" was symbolic of Cameron getting > ever deeper into information which is privy to the Freemasons. Crow: And not, of course, symbolic of a really deep ocean trench. Tom: Well, *duh*! Mike: You know, if I was in a secret organization, I wouldn't give out obvious clues like that. > > In 1990 Cameron co-wrote "Point Break" with his third wife and Order of the > Eastern Star member, Kathryn Bigelow, who directed. He became an executive > producer on the film and the film was released in 1991 and went on to make > $100 million and topped the video rental charts. Although the film was > about a group of persons who robbed banks, a lot of subliminal imagery was > added to the film, which explains why the film was popular. Mike: That's a tough point to argue. Tom: Yeah, let's move on... > > Lightstorm Entertainment became a new production company created by Cameron > and financed by the "consortium". Crow: Who? Mike: The dentists. Crow: Ah. > The name Lightstorm was allegedly > symbolic of the appearance of the Terminator in the films but was really > symbolic of Cameron receiving more intellectual light from the Freemasons. Crow: Or it could be a combination of the words "light" and "storm" Tom: [Sarcasticly] Now that's just silly. > The first film that would be produced by Cameron's new company was > Terminator 2. Judgment Day, the sequel to the Terminator. Mike: Uh-oh, I bet this part'll be a joy-ride. > > The title of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" was symbolic of the future war to > come because of technology, to further embolden the public to a form a > destruction beyond of their control. Crow: And not because it was a sequel to Terminator, right? Mike: No! Tom: Geez, Crow, get with the program - look beyond the obvious. Crow: [uncertainly] Um, okay. > > The film also featured the use of computer technology to make a morphing > character that would leave the audience with chills. The character was > created at Industrial Light and Magic. "Light and Magic" is symbolic of the > mysteries inside of Freemasonry. Crow: Or it could be symbolic as the mysteries INSIDE MY BUTT! Mike: Crow! [Slaps his forehead] Doh! I forgot! Crow: Don't worry, Mike. I'm sorry, it just got to me after awhile... Mike: It's okay Crow, we're up to Terminator 2, it won't be long now. Crow: *sigh* Okay... > > More incidents of "psychic driving" had also taken place. Tom: A 1984 Ford LTD levitated, and was able to guess 8 out of 10 gas brands blindfolded. > One of them > being an incident involving Edward Furlong, who played John Connor in the > film, and lip balm. He was coerced by an under-cover "consortium" member > to use the lip balm. Tom: Consortium member or "Girlfriend" as they are more commonly known. > After shooting a scene and congratulating Furlong > for his performance, Cameron noticed the lip balm on Furlong's lips and > yelled at him for screwing up the scene. After this, Furlong admitted > in an interview that the incident left him paranoid about the rest of > the shoot. Tom: [Brain] Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Crow: [Pinky] Um, I think so, but wouldn't salty lip balm defeat the whole purpose? Mike: Y'know, If your plan for world domination hinges on lip balm, chances are you're in the wrong profession. > > To some people outside of the "consortium" this mind control technology was > becoming apparent and needed to be covered up. Cameron's script for the > film was rewritten with some parts removed to conceal facts related to the > technology. Crow: All "Intel Inside" stickers were removed from Arnold's torso. > One such example of proof follows when describing Sarah > Connor's treatment in the mental institution with electro-convulsive- > therapy; Crow: Oh, here we go... Mike: Hunker down guys, this is gonna hurt. > > > --------- SCENE REMOVED BY THE CONSORTIUM FROM T2 SCRIPT -------- > > INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR > > Sarah, straight-jacketed and strapped on to GURNEY, Mike: Though later she'd be straight-jacketed and strapped on to CAMERON. Tom: Gyrating Universal- Mike: No Tom. Tom: What? Mike: That wasn't an acronym, it's proper screenplay format. Tom: Can I do it anyway? Mike: Okay, just this once. Tom: Gyros Under Redford's New European Yams. Crow: You're getting really good at that. > is being wheeled down > the corridor by Douglas and the other orderlies. Silberman is right behind > her with the interns. Sarah's eyes are full of suppressed rage as she > stares up and back at them. > > SILBERMAN > (to the interns) > What's fascinating about her case is that the architecture of the > delusion -- Tom: Who is Sarah Connor? > > SARAH > Don't talk about me like I'm not here. I'm right goddamn here! Mike: [Silberman] GAAAHHH!!! Don't sneak up on me like that! > > SILBERMAN > We know where you are,Sarah... Crow: [Silberman] You're right goddamn there. > (continuing to the interns, as before) Mike: So you see, you *can* record something on the VCR and watch something on TV on a different channel. > ..the delusion seems to have begun with the boyfriend and then been adopted > by the patient. He believed he was a soldier from the next century, send > to protect her from a killer machine called a "terminator". Mike: Excuse me, author guy, I remember this part of the movie, can I be excused? > > Frustrated, Sarah begins struggling against her restraints. Douglas, > blocking the action from the doctors, casually smacks her solar plexus > with his baton. Crow: When majorettes go bad! > Sarah gasps for air. Douglas winks at her. Crow: That guy Douglas has some strange ideas about how to pick up women. > > SILBERMAN > You see, it's all about machines, for her. We're seeing more and more of > this new syndrome, a sort of acute phobic reaction to technology. It's a > defensive response to the dehumanization of relationships in a high-tech > world. Tom: [Silberman] You know that we are living in a material world, and she is a material girl. > > They sweep through a set of double doors. The doors swing closed into > CLOSEUP. Mike: Toothpaste covers the halls! Tom: Even now, we see the subtle hands of the Dentists in this! > Big block letters stenciled across them read: Crow: HOW'S MY PSYCHIC DRIVING? CALL 1-800-555-DRIVE! > > ELECTRO-CONVULSIVE THERAPY. Yes, they still do this shit to people. Mike: That's an odd thing to have stencilled on a door. > > INT. E.C.T. ROOM > > Sarah's eyes go wide, clocking the sign on the door as she is wheeled in > to a room full of ominous machines. Tom: All of which go "ping". > Aging shock therapy equipment. > > SILBERMAN > Sarah, today we're going to be trying ECT...electro-convulsive therapy -- > > SARAH > No! Don't do this. Okay, look, Silberman -- hey! Don't put that -- HEY! Crow: Of course, Mr. Cameron developed really strange ways of showing sex in movies. > > She struggles vainly against the gurney straps as a NURSE Tom: Negative Unilateral -- Mike: Tom, what did I say? Tom: Sorry, it's hard to stop. > tapes electrodes > to her head. Silberman leans down to Sarah. The interns and the orderlies > watch from near the door. > > SILBERMAN > Now relax, we're found this very helpful with problems like yours. > Such as this feeling that you're being persecuted -- Mike: Now why would she think that? > > SARAH > I'm not being persecuted, you fucking moron! I'm not a threat to them > anymore. I told you. It's my son who's the target! > > Silberman sighs. They finish placing the electrodes on her temples. Mike: [Silbenman] To Prove you're crazy and I'm sane, I'll forgo the normal therapy and electrocute the craziness out of you! > > SARAH > You've got to let me go so I can protect him! He's naked if they come > for him now! Why won't you listen? You know how important this is? > > The nurse sets the dials on the machine. Sarah starts to thrash now, Crow: Boy, she gets into the music. > becoming irrational. Starts shrieking at everyone in the room. She > sounds exactly like what they say she is -- a whacko Mike: So whacko is a psychological term, I did not know that. > > SARAH > Goddamnit. Let me go!! I'll kill you, FUCKER!! Tom: [Silberman] Nono, it's "Silberman". C'mon, say it - Sil-ber-man. > > She screams incoherently as they jam the rubber biscuit All: [a la Blues Brothers] Bow-bow-bow! > down between her > teeth so she won't bite through her tongue when the voltage jump starts her > brain. Silberman is smooth and cheerful as he turns to the interns. > > SILBERMAN > ECT is coming back into favor lately, and we've had good results with it. Mike: [Silberman] If we put a pound of sausage in her lap, we can have breakfast in less than 10 minutes. > It looks worse than it is. As soon as the current hits her brain, she's > out. It's a bit like punching the restart button on a computer when the > program crashes. Tom: Yeah, computers are like people, except they're completely different. Crow: Ah, I think Silberman chose the wrong field. Mike: Bill Gates *IS* Silberman in "Control, Alt, DEATH!!" > > He nods to the nurse and the current blasts through Sarah's brain, > locking every muscle in her body into a painful contortion. It triggers > an epilepsy-like seizure and she bucks and flops on the gurney. > > SILBERMAN > She's not feeling anything right now. > > TIGHT ON SARAH'S FACE, contorted, jerking spasmodically. Then... Mike: [Silberman] Oh, well, she's not felling anything but the electrocution is what I meant to say. > > STROBOSCOPIC FLASH CUTS speeding up in rhythm, images coming at us like a > roaring freight train: Crow: Great Scott - it's turned her into a disco queen! All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! > > TERMINATOR'S STEEL HAND lunging for her in the punch press. > A CHROME SKULL, eyes burning red, a demon after her soul. > STEEL FINGERS closing on her throat. Then... > SARAH'S FINGERS groping endlessly for the switch to the press. Then... Mike: THE AUDIENCE'S EYES dropping closed in boredom. Tom: ARNOLD'S CHECK as it clears the bank. Crow: JAMES CAMERON'S LIBIDO as he watches Linda Hamilton writhe. > > TERMINATOR'S RED EYES filling frame. Lightning arcing all around as the > press crushes the hideous machine. But even as it dies it has her by the > throat. Even now, long after it's dead, it still has her by the throat. > The lightning gets brighter and brighter... WHITING OUT FRAME Tom: You know, this scene would normally make me condemn electro-shock, but if someone wanted to electro-shock this author, I wouldn't mind. > > ------------- END MISSING SCENE FROM TERMINATOR 2 ---------- Tom: So where's the part where the two robots join forces and kick some organic butt? Crow: Umm, that was just that fanfic we wrote. Mike: What fanfic? Tom: Um, nothing, Mike, heh heh, nothing at all. > > > Cameron's description of the ECT scene would not be tolerated by the > "consortium" who funds Cameron. This scene was removed in order to prevent > any person's who have been unknowingly affected by MK-ULTRA technology at > the movies to discover that they've been mind controlled. Mike: But they were foiled by all those "Help! I am being held prisoner by an evil psychodentist Mason" notes someone slipped in all the boxes of Goobers. > This scene also > made the "consortium" wonder about Cameron's loyalty to them. Tom: Why would he be loyal to people that he didn't even know were funding him? Crow: No, in the beginning, he said Cameron asked them for money, so he *did* know. Mike: Guys, don't think too hard about it, he's just making it up anyway. > > In 1991 we all saw the Persian Gulf War which led to massive popularity of > President George Bush who had proclaimed the "New World Order" after the > defeat of Iraq and the liberation of Kuwait. Crow: Meanwhile, seven years later, Bush is in retirement, grooming his many sons to run again and again and again, as Saddam Hussein laughs, teases UN Inspectors, and prays every day that the whole Lewinsky thing will just go away so Clinton doesn't need a distraction. Mike: Enough Crow, let's get out of here. [Mike picks up Tom and they leave the theater.] From: Roland Warner Subject: MiSTed: The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory (3/4) Date: 1998/10/15 Message-ID: <36263E3E.4E40@geocities.com> X-Deja-AN: 401432095 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 908475782 166.82.133.20 (Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:23:02 EDT) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. MIME-Version: 1.0 Reply-To: tom_...@geocities.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:23:02 EDT Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc [*...1...2...3...4...5...6] [Tom and Crow are standing beside a TV and VCR as Mike enteres from the right.] Mike: Hey guys, what's up? Tom: Oh, Mike! We found an early, un-released tape from the SOL Vaults. Wanna see? Mike: Sure! Crow: Good, because we would've shown it to you anyway. Roll it, Cambot! [The video starts playing on the TV and appears on Cambot's view.] [The title appears "Forrester 2: Judgement Day". The scene opens on a Pre-MST3k Deep 13 set. Dr. Forrester is talking with Dr. Erhardt.] Dr. F: Dr. Erhadt, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Dr. E: I think so, Clay, but cinema today is so awful. Dr. F: No, you idiot, that's not it at all! I know how we can rule the world! Dr. E: How's that? Dr. F: We can . . . [A bright light flashes off screen and Pearl enters wearing her Castle Forrester clothing.] Pearl: [Motioning to Dr. Forrester] Come with me if you want to live. Dr. F: Mother? Is that you? Pearl: Well, yeah, kinda, it's hard to explain, just follow me! Dr. F: What if I said no? Pearl: Clayton, don't argue with me! [Another bright flash.] Pearl: It's too late! [Crow enters the scene.] Dr. E: Hey, what is that? Crow: I've come to exterminate you both before you shoot a man up into space. He'll make me, and then you'll force us to watch bad movies. Dr. F: What? Hey, that's not a bad idea . . . Pearl: That's right, Clayton, don't listen to him! Crow: Don't do it, Dr. Forrester! You'll . . . wait, if you don't send him up, then I won't be created . . . hmm, this is a tough decision. Oh, hell, I'd miss meeting poor Joel and Beep- I mean Tom. Um, forget everything you've heard today, Dr. F. Dr. Erhardt, don't worry about your future, heh. [Crow walks off screen and in a bright flash, he's gone.] Pearl: Right, now you be a bad boy, Clayton, and I'll see you in a few years. [Pearl walks off, and in a bright flash is gone as well.] Dr. E: Um, what now? Dr. F: We still have that movie collection, right? [The video stops and the SOL appears.] Crow: Wow, isn't Time Travel awesome? Mike: So you decided to go ahead and watch more bad movies? Crow: Yeah, well, it's difficult to explain. [Lights flash, Chaos ensues.] Mike: Ahhhh! We've got Conspiracy.Sign! [6...5...4...3...2...1...*] [Mike carries Tom into the theater, followed by Crow, and they sit down.] Tom: Great, we still hafta watch this because of Crow! > Later in the year, Terminator > 2 was released on the July 4th weekend. All of the revenues from the film, > including the box office receipts, video, TV and merchandising made close > to 1 Billion dollars. By the end of the year the global coming together > got closer with the collapse of the Soviet Union. Tom: Which was a direct result of T2. Mike: Yeah, Gorby got so scared at the sight of Arnold in his make-up, he just said, "The heck with it" and called the whole thing off. > > While this was going on in the foreground, people began reporting sightings > of United Nations military equipment being shipped to military bases on > railroad cars through the backwoods of the United States. Something was > definitely being planned and the American people weren't being told in the > mainstream media. Crow: I sense black helicopters coming up here. Tom: This thing is lurching from one conspiracy theory to another like a drunken Sharon Stone! Mike: Oliver Stone. Tom: Him too. > > In 1992, the MK-SEARCH(MK-ULTRA) Crow: A.k.a. the Project Formerly Known as "MK-ULTRA". > technology continued while James Cameron > was taking a break from film-making. After MK-SEARCH had ended in 1984, > the technology was transferred to the U.S. Navy's Research and Development. > Navy R&D, through intensive research had created a new way of controlling > the mind using microwave signals modulated from 300-3000 MHz(Megahertz). Crow: Yes! We have microwave mind control! Check that off on the list, Mike. Mike: I'm on it. Tom: I'll get the tinfoil hats! > > To use this technology on a mass scale would require a massive antenna > array that could reflect these signals off the upper atmosphere and bounce > them back to a precise location on Earth. MK-SEARCH, through Navy R&D had > become a new program known as the High Altitude Auroral Research Project, > or HAARP. Crow: His acronyms aren't near as good as yours, Tom. Tom: Thanks! > > HAARP was first used to mind control masses of people in Los Angeles during > the first four months of 1992 in order to cause stress among the population > and create tension. Mike: All of which resulted in the cancellation of "The Cosby Show". > This tension needed a match to ignite a fire and that > match was the Rodney King Beating Trial. On April 29th of 1992, four > police officers who were videotaped beating King the year before, were > acquitted of all charges. The use of HAARP was combined with the constant > replays of Rodney Kings beating on television for nearly a year would make > tensions reach a point of friction. Tom: Wha? For what purpose?!? No! I refuse to buy it! Mike: Easy, Tom. Tom: I call no way! Look, even a wacko conspiracy theory has to have *some* cohesion! > > This friction had lit the match and HAARP's mind control of the population > of South Central Los Angeles was the gasoline. The result was the Los > Angeles Riots which had caused the deaths of nearly 60 people. The > situation had gotten so out of control, that President George Bush was > going to send in the army and declare martial law if things got too bad by > using the authority of Executive Order 11490. Mike: Gee, Executive Order 11490, that sounds interesting! tell me more! Tom: Mike, don't encourage him! > > E.O. 11490 was originally drafted by 33rd Degree Mason President Richard > Nixon Mike: Why are all US Presidents 33rd degree masons? You'd think they could get higher than that. > to give him the power to abolish congress, suspend the constitution > and declare martial law and put the functions of the U.S. Government under > the control of Mike: Robert Goulet. Admittedly, it wasn't a well thought-out order. > the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Nixon had > considered using E.O. 11490 during the Vietnam war to control the anti-war > protesters in America. Tom: Well, fat lot of good it did him! He *still* got kicked out! > > Luckily for the American public, the riots in the late 1960's and in Los > Angeles of 1992 were brought under control, but the options of E.O. 11490 > were available for any sitting President after Nixon. Mike: And most of the standing or reclining ones, too. > HARRP had proven > itself as a new tool in mind control. > > This technology was being prepared for a future event. Ronald Reagan had > already given some of it away with the "threat from the outside speeches". Crow: Remember, outside speeches *are* a threat! > More of the plan was discovered by concerned citizens and militia types who > had discovered "detention camps" being constructed all over the United > States to lock up anyone who might be trouble during and after the event. Mike: Yeah, I remember back home they wanted to build a detention camp in my town, but they couldn't get the zoning permits. Crow: That'll happen. > > HAARP's mind control signals will coincide with this "event" in order to > make the people of the Earth comply. Those unaffected such as libertarians, Crow: NOAH! Mike: Right! Crow: No, not *that* Noah! > patriots, individualists, survivalists or anyone else who doesn't think the > way the established media wants them to think would be hauled off to these > detention camps in cattle cars. Welcome to the New World Order. Crow: "Cause when you're in the n.W.o., You're in the n.W.o. 4 life!" Mike: Tom, What is he talking about? Tom: It's wrestling Mike. Mike: Wow, a world of wrestling fans, that is scary. > > In 1993 Cameron began doing research for a future project called "Titanic" Mike: It begins. All: DA-DA-DUMM! > which would fit into this pattern of mind-control and Freemasonic symbolism. Crow: And not about a big ship. Tom: Of course not! > > True Lies, released in 1994, became the next big film for Cameron. The > title "True Lies" was symbolic of the inversion of words and meanings > commonly found in Freemasonry to confuse outsiders. Crow: And not of, um - hey, guys, what *was* the title symbolic of? Mike: It was, ah, y'see, it meant - Tom: It meant he needed a catchy title, okay?! > The best way to > understand the title was to remember a phrase created by English Occultist/ > Freemason Aleister Crowley; "If you want to understand, learn to think > backwards". Tom: I think that was later used in "Life's Little Instuction Book" Mike: [Manson] "I'm in yer head!" > > Symbols that appeared in the film varied from helicopters silhouetted > against the morning sun so they appeared black as in "black helicopters" > which have been seen all over the United States that year. Tom: Bingo! Crow: Did I call that or what? Mike: I'll just check that off on the list. > Cameron had > also chose the name "Trilby" for the leader of the Omega group. Mike: Well that's just great, the Omega group is being led by a guy with a wussy name. > > "Trilby" was symbolic of the type of hats Freemasons would wear at many of > their gatherings. A play based on a novel called "Trilby" was written in > 1848 by a Freemason, the same year in which Freemasons were nearly driven > out of the United States after the murder of Albert Pike who had revealed > many Masonic secrets. Crow: My head's starting to hurt, guys! > > The name of the organization "Omega" was symbolic of the future as in > "Alpha and Omega" from the Book of Revelations. "Alpha stood for the past > while "Omega stood for the "future". It was an indication that something > is coming that would be a "True Lie". Tom: This doesn't "shake the core of all my belief systems." as much as makes me a little dizzy. > > By this time Cameron had gained enough momentum to move further up in the > Scottish Rite degrees of Freemasonry to receive guidance and direction from > an established Hollywood "consortium" known as the Hollywood Twelve. > "Hollywood-12" was a mirror group for the U.S. government's Majestic-12. > MJ-12 was created in 1947 after the crash of the extra-terrestial vehicle > in Roswell, New Mexico. Crow: And there's your Roswell ref! Tom: Well, I have to admit, this conspiracy theory sure gets around. > and designed to manipulate history to control > information on extra-terrestials. HW-12 was originally created in the > 1950's during the "Red Scare" and McCarthy witch hunts. Mike: Is there any conspiracy they *haven't* covered? Tom: The only one they've missed is flouride in the water! Crow: What about the dentists? Tom: Well, never mind, then! > > When the Masons and their "consortium" of psychiatrists first introduced > the MK-ULTRA technology to Hollywood to prepare the public for extra- > terrestials and the New World Order, Crow: The aliens have sided with the n.W.o.? That does make them the most powerful wrestling organization on earth! Mike: That's enough with the wrestling Crow > it was determined that a consortium > would have to be built among those experienced in film making to implement > this technology and to keep it in the proper hands. All of this culimated Crow: Then smoked a cigarette. > to become Hollywood Twelve, made up of film studios and television > networks. Among HW-12's members today are; Tom: Oh, this is going to be good. Crow: I can hardly wait. > > 20th Century Fox, Universal, Paramount, Warner Brothers, Sony/Columbia > Pictures, Amblin Entertainment, Disney, Orion, CBS, NBC, ABC. Mike: And the Food Network for some reason. Crow: And don't forget Roger Corman! "Vampirella" was a major score for the forces of evil everywhere. > > It is the mission of HW-12 to use MK-ULTRA technology to it's limits in ALL > entertainment mediums, including, films, television, magazines, computers > and now the internet. Tom: The global conspiracy is now available from your desktop! Crow: Go to www.jesus.in.his.magic.spaceship.com or AOL keyword: TINFOIL HATS > > In 1995, the world saw "Strange Days", Tom: Of course, by "World", he actually means "about a dozen people who wandered into the wrong theater by accident." > a film written and "produced" by > Cameron and directed by his 3rd wife(now ex-wife) Kathryn Bigelow. Crow: Geez, how many ex-wives does Cameron have, anyway? Tom: Between him, Mickey Rooney & Larry King, they've married everybody in Hollywood at least once! > "Strange Days", named after a "Doors" song was symbolic of the weird things > that would be occurring from 1995 onward that would shape history toward > the world government by the millennium. Mike: They even have Lance Henrickson on their side! > > The film was based on a type of technology called "SQUID" - Superconducting > QUantum Interference Device. Tom: As official acronym guy, I'm going to issue you a citation for using two letters from the same word in your acronym! Mike: Get him Tom! > This device could be used to record human > experiences on a CD ROM and play them back for later use. "SQUID" was an > actual device created from Tom: ...Chasen's leftover Calimari. > MK-ULTRA technology as a device to record and > play back memories as well as for use as a "psychic driving" tool for mind > control as Dr. Donald Ewen Cameron did by replaying his voice to mental > patients to cause "de-patternization" of human consciousness and multiple > personalities. [Long pause] Mike: [quietly] Did you guys catch any of that? Crow: Did you? Tom: Let's just pretend we did and move on. > > A lot of the SQUID imagery in "Strange Days" was loaded with subliminal > messages which were inserted by "consortium" members who had infiltrated > "Digital Domain" a special effects company created by Cameron in 1994. The > film didn't make much at the box office and it was designed that way to > determine which types of subliminal images would draw people to Cameron's > films. Crow: Mainly it was breasts. Breasts, money, and, for some reason, "Beakman's World". > > The negative portrayal of the SQUID technology was influenced by Cameron > and the "consortium" began to see him as a problem that needed to be > handled. It turns out that while writing and researching Strange Days, > Cameron discovered the MK-ULTRA connection and read about Dr. Donald Ewen > Cameron's brain butchery in Montreal in the 1950's and was horrified to > discover that his great artistic talents had been used in this way. He > would try to break away from this madness. Crow: And to do that, Cameron built a million gallon tank of water in the Mexican desert and dunked Leonardo DeCaprio and Kate Winslet in it! Tom: Makes sense to me! > > The next big project on Cameron's list was "TITANIC". A cumulation of five > years worth of research, Cameron was finally going to make a film that > would be free of MK-ULTRA's influence. Mike: and with half the calories. > Since "Strange Days", Cameron had > learned that all of this time, he had been manipulated and controlled. by > a group of "bad" Freemasons who work for evil purposes. Tom: [British] Do you want to give up being a mason? Think carefully now. Mike: Um, no. Tom: [Brit] NO?!? BAD!!! BAD MASON! BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD MASON!!!!! > In order to > understand this, you have to trace the history of the Freemasons from > Atlantis. The information goes off on a tangent and becomes lengthy but > it is necessary to fully comprehend the rest of this document. Mike: Uh, maybe you should've covered this in your Atlantis segment sir? > > There were originally ten republics that made up the island continent > which was located in the Atlantic Ocean. Tom: Rapa Nui, Big Rock Candy Mountain, Scotland, Wales, North Dakota, South Dakota, Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island and Oahu. > Extra-terrestials from Orion > and Sirius known as "originators" had created Atlantis by using thousands > of spacecraft parked in Earth's orbit. Crow: [Slim Pickens] Somebody's gotta go back and get a ----loada dimes! Mike: Nice self-censoring. Crow: Well, it's Usenet-13 and all... > > These spacecraft were equipped with graviton lasers that drilled thousands > holes in the floor of the Atlantic Ocean and molded the exuding lava into > the continent. Tom: Plus, they made some darling pottery. > After the lava had cooled, the "originators" terra firmed > the new continent with artificial soil and rapidly grown plant life. > Atlantis was finally populated with animals from various parts of the Earth > as well as humanoid hybrids to create the Atlantean civilization. Crow: Are you sure this isn't just an episode of Star Trek? > > These hybrids were crosses between the genetic material of the Neanderthal > humans of Earth and the genetic material of the originators. Mike: The secret origin of Andrew Dice Clay. > This process > of creating these hybrids was known as Xenogenesis; the birth of an alien > species. Remember this is also the name of James Cameron's very first film > in which he was helped by the Freemasons. This was a clue to the past as > will be a clue for the future as you will see later. Tom: Yeah, I have to see everything backwards! "True Lies" I get it! Mike: Tom, are you okay? Tom: Yeah, hey guys! This all makes sense now! Crow: Uh-oh. > > The Xenogenesis in Atlantis created what we know as "homo-sapiens" or the > modern human being Tom: Uh-huh. > and started with two hybrids who were named "Adam" and > "Eve" and placed in a location the originators had named "Eden". Tom: Yeah! > For those > of you debating whether "creation" or "evolution" had created humans, this > shows that BOTH are true. Tom: Of course! Crow: We're both right?! That's not fair! Mike and I had a bet! Mike: Yeah! That doesn't mean we both have to take the dare now does it?! > > In order to test this XenoGenesis, the "origininators" had created a colony > on Mars in the Cydonia region as a model for Atlantis. Remnants of this > colony exist today such as the Cydonia pyramids and the Face on Mars. Crow: We have "Face on Mars!" Is that everything Mike? Mike: I think he still has to figure in Stonehenge and explain crop circles. Tom: Guys stop making fun of this guy, I think he's on to something! Mike: Yeah, sure Tom. > The > originators who had the responsibility of creating "Eden" were known as > "galactic originator disciples". The hybrids simply knew them by their > acronym, "GOD". Tom: I may beleive this guy, but that's still a crappy acronym. Mike: Right. That's it. [Mike picks up Tom and all three start to exit] Tom: Philistine! > > Unfortunately, there was an unseen force resisting against the plans of > "originators" that would compromise the original plan for "Eden". [All three file back in] Crow: Of all the time for her to lock the friggin' doors! Tom: See, the Freemasons don't *want* you to leave! > The > opposition consisted of a group of evil "originators" from Sirius who had > deliberately planned to take over and defeat the originators from Orion. Mike: Their names: Tri-Star Pictures! > They were labeled by the Orion originators as "destructive ecstalogical > makers of nihilistic savagery" or "demons". Their leader was originally > from Sirius and his name was "Satan". Mike: Man! Do you have to explain everything? Is there no mystery or wonder in your world? Tom: Yeah, I was with him up until this crap about Satan being an alien, everyong knows Satan lives in hell, deep beneath the earth's crust! Crow: Along with all politicians and Jerry Lewis. > > Satan had caused a rebellion among the community of Orion and Sirius known > as a "war in heaven". The civilization in the Sirius system was created in > a similar fashion as Atlantis and Satan knew what it was like to be > controlled. He had collected an army among the Sirius originators and had > declared war on the Orion originators. Crow: So Satan is basically the Atlantean version of Yassir Arafat? Tom: I question this guy's grasp of theology. Mike: I question his grasp of reality. > > Satan was eventually defeated in massive battles between his army and "GOD" > but there were losses with the destruction of the Cydonia colony and the > surface of Mars as well as a colonized planet located between Mars and > Jupiter known as Fenex. Mike: Fortunately, Fenex is still available in prescription strength formula. > > Today, Fenex is now the asteroid belt but a few of it's survivors had > escaped to Earth and settled the civilization known as Mu in the > southwestern portion of North America. Crow: Otherwise known as "Empire of the Cows". Mike: And there arose a prophet named "Gary Larson"... > The center of Mu was located where > Phoenix, Arizona now sits. The name "Phoenix" which means "rebirth" was > derived from "Fenex". Mike: Of all the things to explain, he insists that Pheonix, Arizona is the product of space aliens. > > As for Satan, he and survivors from his army Crow: Set up a nice lemonade stand right outside of Burbank. > were cast down to Earth by > "GOD", never to rejoin the galactic community, but they wouldn't stay > defeated for long. By using technology stolen from "GOD", Satan would make > himself appear in other forms including the shape of a snake. Tom: Heh, he's S-S-S-S-Smokin'! Mike: [points a finger at Tom.] If you ever, for the remainder of your robotic life, quote Jim Carrey again, I will personally see that little globe on your head becomes a permanent fixture on the spaceshuttle Mir, and your body thrown among the space debris. Tom: Cool! > He had > coerced "Eve" into eating an "apple" from the "tree of knowledge" which > was bio-enginnered by "GOD". Tom: Can we fast forward to when Jesus fights the cyborgs from the future? Crow: Yeah! That'll be cool! Mike: You guys are really in to this aren't you? Tom: Well, you have to admit Mike, at least this is interesting. > > The edible parts of this tree Tom: Hello, I'm Euell Gibbons. Did you know many parts of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil are edible? > contained enzymes that would give the hybrids > sentience (or self awareness) and advanced intelligence. Mike: I believe I remember my Guidance Counselor suggesting that I try eating from the Tree of Knowlege of Good and Evil. > After Eve had > convinced Adam to eat from this "tree", the "originators" quickly banished > the hybrids from the garden to fend for themselves. The descendants of > Adam and Eve populated Atlantis and would have to work their way through > life. Tom: Yep, the free ride was over - time to put on the uniforms and start asking, "You wanna supersize that"?. > > During it's history, a disagreement over how Atlantis was going to be > managed had eventually split the Atlanteans into two factions, Crow: The National League and the American League. > the Sons of > Belial Crow: Who wanted to micro-manage Atlantis... > who's genetic ancestors had come from Sirius and the Law of One Crow: Who wanted to use Japanese management techniques. > who's genetic ancestors had come from Orion. The disagreement evolved into > a civil war which led to the suppression of the Law of One, which > emphasized spiritual existence, and the creation of a dictatorship by the > Sons of Belial which emphasized materialism. Mike: So the Cold War is an extension of the unltimate war between good and evil? Tom: Well... Yeah. Mike: A war that began in outer space among the aliens? Tom: Uh, no. > > The continuing materialism of the Sons of Belial led to the creation of > changes in the Earth's climate, via pollution and waste of resources and > the eventual sinking of the Atlantean continent. Tom: Actually, it wasn't the iceberg that sank Atlantis; it was the structural flaws in the plating. Mike: Oh, yeah, I forgot about James Cameron. Crow: Let's see if they can tie this back into him. > This sinking was > described in many ancient texts including the book of "Genesis" in the > Bible as the "Great Flood". Also note that "Genesis" was derived from the > word XenoGenesis. Crow: And when we assume, we make an "ass" out of "u" and "me." > > The story about "Noah" Mike: Breasts! Tom: Mike, no! Wrong Noah again! > in "Genesis" describes how GOD had instructed him to > build an ark to preserve the biogenetic diversity of Atlantis by gathering > all the animals of his known world by twos and take them to other parts of > the Earth. Crow: Two Mosquitos, Male and female. > Before Atlantis disappeared beneath the ocean, the Law of One > preserved the intellectual and philosophical idealism from Atlantis and > stored it inside of two hollow pillars they named Boaz and Jachin which > floated away after the flood. Crow: Naming your pillars is usually a sign of some deep-seated psychological problem. Mike: Consult your local Atlantean dentist today. > Boaz was the Atlantean word for "strength" > while Jachin stood for "stability". Tom: Yeah, whatever, can we get back to the stuff about Cameron? You know, our *subject*? > > The pillars were eventually discovered at a place we would now call the > Straits of Gilbatrar between Spain and Morocco. Tom: You call it the straits of Gibraltar: I call it "maize". > From the information found > inside these pillars by travelers who were known as "sojourners", they > founded the earliest remnants of Freemasonry with the precepts of "strength > and stability". The information was first given to the Egyptians and > passed down through different civilizations including Persia, Babylon, > Greece and Rome. Tom: Did I say this was interesting Mike? Mike: Yeah, I think you did. Tom: Well, I lied. Mike: Oh, okay. > > After the collapse of the Roman Empire, the information was nearly lost > in the Dark Ages(1300's) and the Inquisition (1500's) but was kept alive > in various secret places known as lodges, Crow: Yes, Red Green's ancestors kept civilazation alive. Tom: Now he's dragging the Elks into it! > the meeting houses of Freemasons. > As Freemasonry evolved into the 1700's, a bitter dispute split Freemasonry > into two factions, a revived Sons of Belial(also known as the Illuminati) Tom: Wow! The Illuminati too! Mike: This guy is thourough, at least. > and the Law of One. Both sides would work toward one goal, Crow: Keeping "Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman" on the air. > the recreation > of Atlantis. > > Thus with the help of several of their members from both sides, including > George Washington of the American Masons and Adam Weishaupt of the Bavarian > Illuminati, Mike: Remember, Cerebus doesn't love you - he just wants your money! > they created the United States of America in 1776. Since then, > both factions have two versions of the same goal. The Sons of Belial > faction wants to enslave the human race in a "New World Order" while the > Law of One Faction wants to create a "Pax Humana" or Human Peace. Crow: So that's who invented the Pax Network. > > The Sons of Belial faction are responsible for events that set back human > history and creativity while The Law of One faction has been responsible > for advancing the human race toward the it's ultimate goal, to rejoin the > community of civilizations in the universe where humanity originally came > from. Tom: It must scare the bejeezus out of this author when kids walk down the street in thier "New World Order" shirts huh? From: Roland Warner Subject: MiSTed: The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory (4/4) Date: 1998/10/15 Message-ID: <36263E54.4CB5@geocities.com> X-Deja-AN: 401432101 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 908475797 166.82.133.20 (Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:23:17 EDT) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. MIME-Version: 1.0 Reply-To: tom_...@geocities.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1998 14:23:17 EDT Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc > > After breaking from the Sons of Belial faction of Freemasonry, James > Cameron was finally approached by members of the Law of One faction to help Crow: 70,000 pages later, we reluctantly re-join our conspiracy theory already in progress. > him create one of the most emotionally moving and popular films of all > time. When Cameron casted actors to fill the roles, the Law of One faction > helped him find other Law of One members who would make the film a success. Tom: So, are these the good Freemasons or the bad ones? Mike: Isn't any organization that wants to rule the world pretty bad? Crow: Well, I don't know... > > Among them were Order of Eastern Star members, Kate Winslet and Gloria > Stuart for the young Rose and old Rose roles. Crow: Actually, Rose is Rose. Mike: On that note, let's go. [Mike picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater.] [*...1...2...3...4...5...6] [Crow and Tom are sitting at the table in a heated discussion.] Crow: Yanno Tom, it's a tought decision of which version of the Freemasons to join! Tom: Yeah, the good or the bad side . . . tough decision. [A rhythmic pounding echoes through the Satellite.] Crow: What the- [Mike rushes in.] Mike: What's that noise, you guys? Tom: I think it's coming from the Hexfield! Mike: Right! [Cambot zooms out and the Hexfield opens to show a tall, white haired, bearded man standing in view.] Mike: Hey guys, it's James Cameron, the subject of today's conspiracy! James: Hey guys, I heard you've been reading that Conspiracy Theory about me. Crow: We sure have, Mr. Cameron, and let me tell you, *phew* it reeks! James: Yeah, it is awful, isn't it? And please, call me James! Tom: Right, James, tell us, what in the world inspired this libelous Conspiracy Theory? James: Oh, it's probably one of those other directors that are mad at me for yelling "I'm King of the World" at the Oscars. Whoever it is is probably angry because he didn't get an Oscar. Don't worry, though, once we find him, we'll make sure he never directs again. Crow: We? James: Did I say "we"? I meant me! Yes, just a slip of the tongue, that's all! Mike: Uh-huh. So, what was with Furlong and the lip gloss during the filming of "Terminator 2"? James: Oh, you know how shiny lips will ruin any movie scene! I mean, it distracts the person and makes them look at the lips, more than the special effects. It's not like we want to rule the world or anything. Tom: Okay, so how would lip gloss contribute to world domination? James: That's for us and the MK-ULTRA to know, not you. Hey, I gotta go and finish making my rounds to other people reading this conspiracy theory. Tonight's pork roast night at the Freemason Lodge! [The hexfield closes.] Mike: Well, that certainly was interesting. Guys, don't let that display of what we just saw affect your opinion of this theory . . . as a matter of fact, erase the whole thing from your mind. Crow: Done and done! Tom: Okay. [Lights flash, chaos ensues.] Mike: Ahhhh, we've got Net.Loon.Sign! [6...5...4...3...2...1...*] [Mike carries Tom into the theater, followed by Crow.] Crow: Didn't Mr. Cameron seem a little edgy to anyone? Mike: I told you to forget it, Crow. > For the Jack Dawson role, > Cameron had chose Leonardo Dicaprio, who is a Freemason. He had admitted > to being a Mason in a 1995 German television interview. Mike: Freemason, teen heartthrob, King of the World - Leonardo DiCaprio! > When the reporter > had pressed forfurther details on the fraternity, Leo became uncomfortable > and abruptly ended the interview. Tom: So Leo spilled the beans on his membership in a secret organization? Crow: Not so much proof that the organization exists so much that Leonardo DiCaprio is an idiot. Mike: That's a revelation I can believe in. > This was because he's been followed by > members of the Son's of Belial faction and they've intimidated him into > silence. Tom: They forced him to wear lip gloss! Crow: No! > > Cameron himself wouldn't remain completely free from the Sons of Belial > faction for long. During part of the filming in Nova Scotia, someone had > spiked clam chowder that was going to be fed to crew members with PCP. ALL: SUPER FREAK OUT! > This had sickened many people, including Cameron who's eyes had become as > red as the eyes of the Terminator. Mike: [Arnold] He needs a vacation. > Everyone recovered but more events > would take place. Another Son of Belial member posing as a Mexican mafia > hitman had threatened Cameron's life on the Titanic set in Baja, Mexico. Tom: El Santo! Come quickly, then leave immediately! > > In March of 1997 while still shooting Titanic, Cameron had secretly > traveled to Arizona to become a 32nd Degree Mason at the Masonic lodge in > downtown Phoenix. Tom: This may stink, but at least it all ties together... Crow: You know, he didn't explain where the aliens came from. Mike: Yeah! Where'd the aliens come from Mr. Know-it-all!? > On March 13th, 1997, while Cameron was receiving his > initiation into the 32nd degree from his Law of One allies, Crow: Hey, one more degree and he can become president! > millions of > people had witnessed a large V-shaped formation of "lights" over the city > of Phoenix. Crow: Turned out it was just Voyager on a collision course with Ed Begley Jr. > > It's worthy to note that Phoenix is just north of 33∞ North Latitude and > it's ancient name was mentioned before in this document as "Fenex". Crow: You know, our attention spans aren't *that* short. > 33 is > very symbolic in Freemasonry since it is the highest degree attainable in > the fraternity. Tom: Or maybe the Freemasons are losers and can't get any higher. > The number of turns in a complete sequence of human DNA > equals 33. Mike: It also serves an important function by keeping 32 and 34 from just slamming into each other. > This was deliberately engineered during the "XenoGenesis" as a > clue to the fact that humans are an engineered species. Mike: Yeah, that's a big clue. Tom: I just realized, I have 33 pairs of Fruit of the Looms in my underwear collection! Crow: And I crank-call Joe Don Baker at least 33 times a week! > As historical > reminders, many sites sacred to the Law of One are located in the vicinity > of 33∞ including North America's first Masonic Lodge in Charleston, South > Carolina as well as the Pyramids of Giza in Egypt which are patterned after > the constellation of "Orion". Tom: The pyramids, maybe. Charleston, SC, though... > > The lights over Phoenix were part of a large "extra-terrestial" spacecraft > that was sent from Orion by the "originators". Tom: GOD's coming back to earth! > The occupants of the ship > had warned them that destruction was on the horizon which would be caused > by the Sons of Belial and their allies from Sirius. After many people > outside of Freemasonry began making inquiries into the Phoenix Event, the > spacecraft was deliberately dismissed in the media as "flares" on orders > from the Sons of Belial. Mike: Why does a conspiracy always have to cover things up? Tom: Yeah, what could we really do if a space ship appeared in the sky? Crow: Exactly, it's not like we could do much more than look. > > Upon knowing the entire world was at stake, the Law of One continued to > help Cameron make Titanic into a "religious experience" Tom: A religous experience for teenage girls, a long-ass movie for everyone else. > and to serve as a > metaphorical warning to the world of the consequences of the Sons of Belial > faction taking over with their "New World Order" and moving carelessly into > the future with only technology. Crow: Run for your lives, the world's been hit by a really big iceberg! > > Under the Sons of Belial, the population of the world would be coerced into > slavery and finally destruction. Mike: "Cake and Cable Shutdown II: This Time, It's Personal!" > Similar ideas of the choice between > servitude or destruction have been placed in several recent Hollywood > movies ranging from films like "Independence Day" to "The X-Files Movie" Crow: The X-Files movie was about conspiracies? Huh, I didn't notice. > as warnings of the future to come. > > The image of this frightening future was first embedded into the minds of > the public early in the history of the 20th century with the sinking of > Titanic. The Sons of Belial had deliberately sunk Titanic in 1912 to > prevent the Law of One from creating world peace. Crow: Aww, come on, it was a freaking boat! Mike: Yeah, conspiracy theorists often leave out the simple fact that sometimes things just screw up. > Members of the Sons of > Belial who had access to media outlets had deliberately pushed an agenda in > the media to give "Titanic" the aura of unsinkability so they could proceed > with their plans of taking over the world. Tom: "We'll take over the world by sinking an oppulent passenger liner! Bwuahahahaha!" Crow: Yeah, taking over the nations of the world is too overt for a secret organization. Mike: Yeah, the problem with secret organizations that they don't know how to do anything overtly, everything's got to be a secret message. > > Before the voyage had begun, a Son of Belial member had met with and > convinced Captain Smith Mike: Ah, Captain "I'm gonna sink this bitch!" Smith. Tom: Ha! That's a classic Mike. > to ignore any kind of warnings or advisories he > might receive during the journey and go "full steam ahead" at all costs. > The name of the member was J.P. Morgan. > > In the "official" history books, J.P. Morgan had backed out of his decision > to sail on Titanic at the last minute because of his wife's "alleged" Crow: By putting "alleged" in quotes, does he mean it is or isn't true? > premonition of the sinking of the ship. This was an alibi for Morgan > because he had taken out one of the world's most expensive insurance > policies on the ship with help from White Star Lines and Lloyd's of London. > In the eyes of the Sons of Belial, Titanic needed to be sunk to solidify > their conquest. Mike: Now he's just makin' stuff up as he goes. Tom: They went from sinking ocean liners to forcing Eddie Furlong to wear lipgloss, they gotta be thinking where they screwed up. > > Lets look at this in perspective. Crow: Why start now? > Why would such a tragic event be > planned? You have to understand who was on the ship. Mike: Carrot Top, Pauly Shore, Craig Kilborne... > Several dignitaries > and influential persons on the ship who were from the Law of One faction > of Freemasonry were in the process of helping create a global peace and the > foundations of what would eventually become a "League of Nations" or a > prelude to the Pax Humana. Tom: So a bunch of rich bastards and poor Irish potato eaters were going to create a new world peace? > When the ship died in the cold North Atlantic > sea, the creation of a "League of Nations" nearly died that night but was > carried on by Law of One members who survived. From reading this it's now > a fact that those who died on Titanic were homicide victims at the hands of > the Sons of Belial. Crow: Or just really unlucky saps. > > The very next year in 1913, the Sons of Belial faction of Freemasonry had > created their own influential organization with the help of J.P. Morgan and > his friend Nelson Rockefeller. The both of them would use the money from > Titanic's insurance policy to Mike: Get seriously drunk. > create the foundations for the bureaucracy of > the "New World Order" in 1913. That year the world saw the establishment of > the "Council on Foreign Relations", an organization which would eventually > have offshoots like the United Nations in 1948 and the "Trilateral > Commission" in the 1970's. Mike: Well, it's now official - a new world's record in paranoia. > > By 1914, the Sons of Belial had influenced events which sparked World > War I. The Law of One had to wait until after the end of the war in 1918 > to begin laying the foundations for the "League of Nations". The war > between the Law of One and the Sons of Belial would escalate through the > rest of this century. Crow: Uh, hello!? Author guy!? Can we get back to Cameron now? > > The Wall Street Crash of 1929, the rise of the Third Reich and Adolf > Hitler, World War II, the Holocaust, the creation of nuclear weapons, the > rise of Communist China, the Korean War, the Cold War, the Cuban Missile > Crisis, the Kennedy assassination(located on 33∞ North Latitude in Dallas > Texas), the Gulf of Tonkin incident and the Vietnam War, and the Gulf War > were caused by the Sons of Belial to wear down the Law of One. Mike: Oh, now he's just running out of ideas of how to put these world crises in to one Conspiracy Theory. > The Law of > One has responded to these events in various ways including putting humans > on the Moon in 1969. So far they have have prevented the world from > sinking into the abyss. Crow: The Abyss! That's a Cameron movie! Mike: Finally, we're back on track. > Here in the present, the Sons of Belial tried to > destroy the Titanic movie in the media by deliberately creating bad press, > but they failed in their efforts when the movie became a hit. Tom: So, The moon landing and "Titanic" was all that the side of good was able to accomplish in the last thirty years, what losers. > The number of Oscar nominations received by "Titanic" had explained the Law > of One's influence on the "religious experience" side while the MK-ULTRA > technology held by the Sons of Belial influenced the films subliminal > imagery and created repeated viewing by audience members to the point of > the film taking in 1 Billion dollars. Mike: Conspiracy theories also don't allow for the fact that something might be popular on thier own merits. Tom: Well the guys who write 'em aren't popular, so they figure anything that is poular must be the product of some sinister force. Crow: Makes sense! > The success of Titanic created a > rewarding situation for Cameron who was now a 32nd Degree Mason. Crow: Arnold Schwarzenegger *is* "32nd Degree Mason!" > In > August of 1997 he had married Linda Hamilton, who played Sarah Connor in > Terminator 2 and is also a member of the Order of the Eastern Star. Tom: Not to mention a stone cold babe, *rrrrrowrrr*! > His > success would escalate to the the Oscars. > > The Academy Awards was held at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles on > March 23rd of 1998. The building was built in 1927 by The Ancient Arabic > Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, better known as the Shriners. Mike: Yes, the ancient mystic culture that believed in riding around in little cars with funny hats. Tom: Somehow I don't think the Shriners themselves actually built the auditorium. > The Shriners are an organization which admits only 32nd degree Masons and > was founded in New York City in the 1870's by American actor William > Florence. > > Upon entering the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, James Cameron was > instated as a 33rd Degree Mason. Crow: Who knew he'd be the millionth shopper? > Titanic had won 11 Oscars, and the > categories in which it won had shown where the Law of One and the Sons of > Belial had influence. Tom: Thank God the masons have no influence in the good categories! Crow: "Best Animated Short" is safe. > When Cameron picked up the Oscar for Best Picture, > he had told the audience of 1 Billion people that "we're here tonight to > celebrate the magic of movies". That statement was given to expose > MK-ULTRA's connections to the film industry. Mike: Of Course! Crow: No one in the film industry would ever say anything trite or cliche! It must have a hidden meaning! > Cameron had also said the > message of Titanic is "the unthinkable can happen, the future is > unknowable, and the only thing we truly own is today Tom: Well, that and the house in the Catskills. > and that life > is precious". > > This was a veiled warning about the Sons of Belials plans for our future > and Cameron knows of the destruction that's coming from their "New World > Order" which includes an invasion of Earth by allies of the Sons of Belial > from Sirius. Mike: Is this really annoying you guys? Crow: Uh-huh. Tom: Oh yeah! > Finally, Cameron asked everybody to observe a moment of > silence for the victims on Titanic. It was very obvious at this point that > he had broken free from the grip of the Sons of Belial faction of > Freemasonry and had sided with the Law of One. Tom: Then he proclaimed himself "King of the World". Mike: Ego trumps humanitarianism. > > The Sons of Belial and their "consortium" have made their next move by > trying to corrupt James Cameron with money by giving him $100 Million > dollars from the profits made by Titanic. Whether Cameron is swayed will > depend on whether he stays "square" in all of his business dealings and > circumscribes his passions with a moral "compass". The Sons of Belial will > be waiting for him. Crow: The end of that paragraph read like a horoscope. > > On an end note, anyone who tries to debunk or dismiss this document, > whether they are psychiatrists, government agents, skeptics, secret society > members or just plain ignoramuses who laugh at this, will forever prove the > information true. Tom: He better not be talking about us! Mike: Well, we just proved it *really really* true! > > This document is delivered by C.S.M. Mike: The Confederate States of Malaysia? Crow: The Caring Sisters of Mayonnaise? Tom: California Shallot Monopoly? > to bring the truth to reality and to > forever change the course of human history. Crow: I know that changed some of my views. Mike: Really? Crow: Yeah, now I'm going to stay *50* feet away from paranoid schitzophrenics. > > > Morning Star the Light Bearer Tom: Gee, shouldn't *everyone* have a subscription? > __________________________________________________________________ > > REALITY IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE Mike: Then why tell us what *you* believe? > > NOT WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK Crow: Or what I want you to believe! > > HISTORY IS SHATTERED FOREVER Tom: They just destroyed the last copy of "Through the Looking Glass". > > BECAUSE THE PARADIGM SHIFT IS HERE All: BURMA SHAVE! Tom: Yanno, Mike, I've just been inspired! Mike: What do you mean, Tom? Tom: Let's go, I'll show you outside. [Mike picks up Tom and they exit the theater] [*...1...2...3...4...5...6] [Mike is sitting in front of the table, and Crow is behind it.] Crow: Now presenting: "The Conspiracies of James Cameron" brought to you by Tom Servo! [Crow ducks down and Tom pops up. Music from "The Countries of the World" from the "Animaniacs" starts playing.] Tom: Free-masons and Roswell and Dentists using Mind Control, then there's Man on the moon, Roswell, Watergate, Titanic, Jesus, God, and Satan too! Red Scare, McCarthy, Aliens, Fenex, Nixon, World War Two Shriners, Son of Belial, the Great Depression, the problems lobotomies do! United Nations, Black Helicopters, Hitler, Fenex, Atlantis, it's all gone! Watergate, Gulf War, Holocaust, Communism, the Law of One. [Tom dances through the jingle.] Nations both leagued and united, Cuban Missile Crisis Genisis, bluebird, artichoke, Noah, Osiris and Isis! MK-Search, MK-Ultra, America, psychiatrists, oh my! Termintar, Abyss, Strange Days, Roger Corman die die die! There's lip Gloss, Oscars, Acronyms, Furlong, Lightstorm, the Great Depression, 31, 32, 33 degrees, Pyschic Driving created by the Consortium! [Tom starts dancing a little faster as the music picks up.] Presidents, Reagan, Bush, Washington, 33rd won't go higher 33 turns of DNA, along 33rd lattitude rules the Shriner Furlong, Arnold, Linda, J.P., Harris, Winslet, Leon! All with Eastern Stars, Sons of Belial or the Law of One! PCP, Titanic Crew wasted, Cameron's eyes have been terminated! Useless facts, paranoia, note that terminated comes from exterminated! [Servo's all over the table, dancing as the music speeds up even faster.] Phoenix, Arizona, South Carolina, Pyramids resembling Orion! Charleston, 33rd lattitude, spacecraft merely flares, everything's gone! "Independence Day", "X-Files" Movie, all in on the conspiracy I hear! The fact that there's so much crap involved here makes my eye tear! Mr. Cameron, don't cry, don't worry, it's all made up, we hope It's weird how so much of this can be made up and how [struggles] I can sing all the consipracies made up by a moronically stupid dope! [Finally, he collapses.] Tom: Mike, help me. I think the Freemasons have taken control over me! Mike: [Gets up and comforts Tom] Poor guy! [The Mads Light flashes] See what you've done, Pearl! [Castle Forrester] Pearl: By jove, I've DONE IT! I BROKE HIS SPIRITS! Brain Guy, prepare to distribute "The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory" out among the world! Observer: What? Pearl: You know, the thing they just watched. I'm sure we can sneak it into the Starr Report or something. Observer: Um, you remember those Brain Flashes I was having? Pearl: You didn't . . . Observer: Sadly, yes, I accidentally destroyed all remnants of it because it was too powerful. Pearl: Why you little- Observer: Ah, before you do anything, I must warn you that I'm very sensitive right now, and any decisive blow to my body could destroy my brain. Pearl: Well, maybe you'd like go to your room and watch "Hobgoblins" again? Observer: Oh, please no! I don't think I could stand watching the 80s again! Pearl: Then find me the "James Cameron Conspiracy Theory". Observer: I'll try . . . [Brain music plays. Observer passes out.] Pearl: Great, now what am I going to do? [She thinks for a moment, and her eyes brighten.] Oh, Bobo! ----- Editor: Roland Warner Co-MiSTers: Bill Livingston Bart "Pete Plum" Fargo (who wished for his copy to be known as "The Pete Plum Remix") With apologies to Freemasons all over the world. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone. Mystery Science Theater 3000 and characters are © 1998 Best Brains Inc. ----- > James Cameron continued on from his short-film project to enter the world of > Roger Corman.