<@ 2 3 4 5 6> MIKE: Hi, everybody, welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm just finishing up a commuted death-sentence here. I wonder where Tom and Crow are? MIKE: Uh-oh... I wonder what THAT could be...? GYPSY: Uh, Mike? Ummm... nice weather we're having, huh? MIKE: Well, yeah, I guess it is... Hey, have you seen Crow or Tom anywhere? GYPSY: Yeah, it hasn't rained here in about 500 years or anything. Yep. Nice weather.... MIKE: Gypsy... What's going on? GYPSY: Huh? Oh, I... uhhhh.... MIKE: Gypsyyyyyy.... GYPSY: TOM AND CROW ARE BUILDING A RAINMAKER! MIKE: What? Why? CROW: Hi, Mike! Nice weather we're having, huh? MIKE: Well, I'm not really dressed for it, actually... TOM: Oh, don't be a worry wart, Mike-a-rino! We just had to get some rain for our petunia farm downstairs, and seeing as how the ship doesn't have any weather patterns of its own and all... well... we just thought we'd make our own! CROW: Yeah. And don't worry about getting electrocuted, what with all this *dangerous and sensitive electronic equipment all around*. Our rain slickers are 100% insulating! MIKE: Oh, well, that's great, but what about me? GYPSY: Uhhh.... CROW: Well what about you? TOM: Yeah, what are *you* worried about? You don't have metal parts that are just dying to soak up an electrical charge! MIKE: Oh, thanks, Gyps... MIKE: We'll be right back... MIKE: That was really dumb you guys! Sheesh! TOM: Yeah, but our petunias look GREAT! CROW: Ow! Hey, watch it... PEARL: Well you think YOU got problem? Me and dumb and dumber here are stuck in traffic! MIKE: Traffic? You're in outer space! There's an infinite amount of room for everybody out there! PEARL: You'd like to THINK that, wouldn't you? Well, nonetheless, we're stuck... BOBO: There was a horrible accident in the Delta Quadrant... Looks like we may be here a while! PEARL: I *knew* we should have gone through Beta Quadrant... but NOOOOO! Brain Guy here has to get a cappuccino over at Barnard's Starbucks! BRAIN GUY: Like *I* knew it was two-for-one day! MIKE: Well, gee... Since you're stuck there and all, I guess we won't have to watch a movie, huh? PEARL: Why Mikey, of course you don't. Mommy Forester isn't going to send you a nasty-wasty movie today. I'm going to send you a rancid movie *script* instead! MIKE: Pardon? TOM: Huh? PEARL: Can it, you ignorant dorks! Can't you see I'm trying to take over the universe here? That's right, Nelson! You get to feast your eyes on this script for _Mighty_Morphin_Power_Rangers:_The_Movie_ I found perched majestically atop a pile of mildewed weenies back on the Camping Planet. TOM: Power Rangers! Wow! I mean... Urgh? CROW: What was that, Tom? MIKE: Mrs. F., what are we supposed to do with this script? PEARL: You READ it, you moron! The words'll flash up on the screen... Don't worry, Brain Guy fixed it all up... MIKE: But what about cheesy music? And lousy sound effects? And bad acting, and... MIKE: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! We've got SCRIPT SIGN! <6 5 4... CROW: YOU like POWER RANGERS? TOM: SHUT UP! ...3 2 @> > MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE MIKE: I have just one question: WHY?!?!?! > REVISIONS BY ARNE OLSEN CROW: It's the OTHER Olsen twin! > DIRECTED BY BRYAN SPICER > REVISED DRAFT OCTOBER 31 1994 > > FADE IN: > > BLACK SCREEN CROW: This is the best part of this film, folks- it's all downhill from here... > > Words SCRAWL UP ON SCREEN and we hear a RESOUNDING VOICE. MIKE: "It is a dark time for the Rebellion..." > > VOICE TOM: Magic Voice? MAGIC VOICE: Yes? TOM: Never mind. > In a time of great strife, CROW: The Great Strife, the Civil Strife... TOM: Civil War, Civil War. > a > legendary interdimensional being > known as Zordon, came to the city > of Angel Grove to establish a > vanguard in the never ending > struggle against evil. MIKE: And he choose Angel Grove because...? > with the > aid of his trusted assistant, > Alpha 5, ALL: NOOOOO!!! > the noble master sought > out six extraordinary teenagers CROW: Unfortunately, he couldn't find them, so he picked the six losers you'll see in this film. > and gave them the power to > transform into an unstoppable > fighting force. In time of great > need, the young heroes MIKE: ..whimper and bawl and cry for their mommies. > could now > call upon colossal assault > vehicles known as "Zords". while > the identity of the six remained > a guarded secret, their > courageous exploits soon became > the stuff of Legend, MIKE: With Tom Cruise, Tim Curry, and Mia Sara TOM: Mia Sara... Rrrrrorrrwwwll! > earning them > the title... The Mighty Morphin > Power Rangers. > > We hear PUMPING ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC as the POWER RANGER'S > LOGO BURST'S ONTO THE SCREEN. ALL: AH! > Now the > logo EXPLODES, Tom: This week, on _McGyver_...! > revealing > > > 1 CROW: ...Singular sensation... > EXT. PROP PLANE / FLYING - DAY 1 > > A prop plane whisking across the deep blue sky. MIKE: It's a Coleman Francis film! ALL: NO!!! > > ROCKY CROW: Again? TOM: DON'T start that, Crow! > YeeeoowwWWWWW!!! MIKE: I hate removing band-aids! > > > 2 INT. PROP PLANE / FLYING - DAY 2 MIKE: Ummm... Weren't we just here? TOM: No, see, before it was an exterior shot; now we're in an interior shot... MIKE: Ahhh... > > The six Power Rangers, MIKE: Power Ranger Roll Call, sound off now! > TOMMY, KIMBERLY, MIKE: Annette! > BILLY, CROW: Bobby! > AISHA, ADAM, and ROCKY TOM: Cubby! > sport sleek sky diving suits, parachute > packs and helmets. Tommy is strapped into a high-tech > airboard. MIKE: He's strapped _into_ it? > > ROCKY > We're OUTTA here!! TOM: We wish. > > KIMBERLY > Easy, Rock. CROW: Gee and I thought she liked it rough. MIKE: Oh, no... > > TOMMY > Once we hit the target zone we've > got fifteen seconds to make the > drop. TOM: Hostage Negotiations, the Power Rangers way! > > BULK (0 . S .) > Step aside, pinheads. > > BULK and SKULL push their way through the Rangers, decked > in bizarre skydiving regalia, topped off by World War II > leather caps and aviator goggles. > > BULK > The Stealth Eagle is about to > fly. Mike: The Former Temp about to hurl. > > SKULL > Ditto for the Swooping Swallow. > > The Rangers exchange amused looks. Aisha gestures to them TOM: She flipped 'em the bird! MIKE: I wish she would- it might make the show more interesting if those kids weren't so damn nice all the time. > > AISHA > Lead on, flyboys. TOM: CROW: Help me... Help meeeeee... > > Bulk and Skull swagger to the door and open it - the ground > is a dizzying distance below. They swallow hard. CROW: Even _I'm_ not touching that one... > > SKULL > Bulk... where'd the earth go? ALL: To HELL! > > BILLY > Five seconds to the target zone! > > TOMMY > Aisha you' re on ! > > Bulk and Skull step aside, Aisha LAUNCHES herself. CROW: I said "lunch", not "launch"! > > The others follow through the opening with flair. > > ROCKY > Stylin! > > ADAM > On your tail! TOM: Yeah, I always thought there was something "funny" about Adam... > > BILLY > All systems MIKE: "All systems" what? > > Tommy and Kimberly share an infectious glance, Kimberly > a hand, TOM: Thing? > indicating Tommy should go first. MIKE: Age before beauty TOM: Actually, in real life, she's older than he is... CROW: And what Power Ranger Web Site did you get THAT information off of? TOM: Well, actually, they have one with- hey! CROW and MIKE: Hehehe... > > TOMMY > Surf's up! > > He's gone. CROW: Thank God! > Kimberly stands backwards in the doorway. MIKE: ...between adolescence and womanhood... > > KIMBERLY > Catch you on the flipside. > > Bulk and Skull watch wide-eyed as she BACK-FLIPS > out of the plane. > > > 3 EXT. SKY TOM: Could ya narrow it down a little? > - DAY 3 TOM: Thanks. > > ROCK AND ROLL fills the track as the Rangers plunge towards > earth, executing a series of MIND-BOGGLING MANEUVERS: SPINS, > FISHTAILS, POWER DIVES, BACK FLIPS, you name it. MIKE: Flailing and screaming as the plummet to their inevitible deaths? > > 4 INT. PROP PLANE - DAY 4 > > Bulk and Skull psyche themselves up. > > BULK > > Be the eagle. Be the eagle. TOM: Do the Dew... Do the Dew... > > SKULL > Be the swallow. Be the > swallow... MIKE: PLEASE don't say "swallow"... > > They take deep breaths then CHARGE THE DOOR. > > BULK AND SKULL > Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! > > Naturally, they get STUCK, wedged shoulder to shoulder. MIKE: Oh, they're goofy! > THE PILOT glances back, CHUCKLES and BANKS THE PLANE. CROW: Dropping people out of planes is FUN! > > > 5 EXT. PROP PLANE - BARREL-ROLLING - DAY 5 > > Bulk and Skull rotate into frame. Now, facing straight down > -- they FALL INTO CAMERA, CLINGING TO EACH OTHER DESPERATELY ALL: Ewwwwww... > > BULK AND SKULL > YEAAAAAAHHHHHH!! TOM: EXTREEEEEEEEEME! CROW: SURGE! MIKE: Please tell me they die. > > 6 EXT. SKY - DAY 6 > > The Rangers pull off more SPECTACULAR MANEUVERS > then swoop TOGETHER, interlocking hands and forming a > PERFECT CIRCLE MIKE: Well, I doubt they could form a _perfect_ circle... > > They look to one another and a moment of pure magic passes > between them. It's not usual the exhilaration of flight > they're sharing, it s the exhilaration of togetherness, of > being part of a team. CROW: That's so BEAUTIFUL! TOM: Yeah... I think I'm gonna hurl... > > TOMMY > Let's BREAK!! MIKE: ....Tommy's legs! TOM: Hey! MIKE: Not, you Servo- you don't even HAVE legs! TOM: Oh, yeah... > > They disperse and yank their rip-cords. CROW: ...They fail to open, the kids plummet to their deaths; end of movie. MIKE: Dare to dream... > The sky BURSTS TO LIFE MIKE: AH! TOM: How exactly does the SKY "burst" to life? > WITH SIX BLOSSOMING PARACHUTES -- white, pink, blue, yellow , > red and black in color. CROW: It's the Mighty Color-Coded Rangers! MIKE: Heheh... > > 7 EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY 7 > > FAMILIES eat hot dogs and cotton candy at a huge fundraiser . CROW: Unfortunately, there was nothing to drink, and the fund raiser flopped... TOM: Sad, really... > A large banner proclaims "SAVE THE OBSERVATORY." MIKE: "...It gives science geeks something to do on Friday night." > We see > diving teams with labeled uniforms -- the BOWLING TEAM, ANGEL > GROVE P.D. and the FIRE DEPARTMENT. There s a large white > "BULLSEYE" spray-painted on the grass. CROW: "Save the Observatory, kill the grass." > The city's > spectacular large skyline rises out of the b.g. MIKE: Oh, God! The Bee Gees! 'BOTS: NO!! > > A SPUNKY MR. KELMAN TOM: "Spunky"? I hate him already. > stands at a podium, speaking into a mic. > > MR. KELMAN > Okay, so the firemen landed four > out of six inside the target -- MIKE: Losers... > > A BOWLER shouts out playfully. > > BOWLER > How `bout a show tune?! ALL: NO!!! > > Mr. Kelman feigns seriousness. > > MR. KELMAN > Somebody wanna keep chose bowlers > in line. TOM: The AGPD pulls out their guns and shoots all the bowlers in the kneecaps. ALL: THANK YOU! > > A hip thirteen year old, FRED KELMAN, MIKE: Oh, THIS is gonna be painful... > yells out as he points > to the sky. CROW: De plane, de plane! > > FRED > Hey dad, get with the program! MIKE: Shut up, ya little smartass! > > MR. KELMAN > Ladies and gentlemen, it's Angel > Grove High CROW: And BOY are they high! MIKE: That would explain a lot about this "Power Rangers" crap, actually... > > ANGEL ON TARGET TOM: Well, what kind of angel would he be if he WASN'T on target? MIKE: _Angel_on_Target_, the new Roma Downey/Chuck Norris show, this fall on CBS! > - AS AISHA touches down flawlessly. TOM: I think I see a pattern forming. MIKE: I wish these kids weren't so damn perfect. > > MR. KELMAN > And that's one! A perfect > landing! > > Aisha clears, then Billy and Adam land toqether. CROW: Oh, bayyyy-be... > > MR. KELMAN > Three for three. Look at `em go! ALL: SHUT UP! > > Billy and Adam clear and now Rocky and Kimberly come in. > > MR. KELMAN > That's five perfect landings! > Now it's all up to Tommy Oliver. TOM: This is TOMMY! We KNOW he'll land perfectly... Mr. Tommy Oliver, Mr. Perfect, King of the World, Leader- MIKE: Bitter much, Tom? TOM: Occasionally... > > Everybody watches with dumbfounded expressions as Tommy SAILS > IN ON HIS AIR BOARD AND SLIDES INTO DEAD CENTER. TOM: Told ya! CROW: Hey, I never doubted you for a minute. > He spreads > his arms wide. MIKE: You know you all love me- admit it. > > TOMMY > Touch down. TOM: Bite me. > > The families CHEER and APPLAUD as they surge forward to > congratulate the Rangers. > > Mr. Kelman and Fred approach Tommy - Fred and Tommy exchange > stylish hand slaps. MIKE: I think I'm gonna be ill... > > FRED > Looking good up there. CROW: Isn't Fred a bit young for Tommy? > > TOMMY > Thanks, man. TOM: I have an idea; let's count the number of time Tommy says "man" in the script... CROW: No, I've got a BETTER idea- let's NOT and say we did! TOM: Spoilsport. > > MR. KELMAN > Congratulations - the > Observatory's got a new lease on > life. TOM: Oh, good... Billy won't have to worry about trying to have a social life just yet. > > FRED > Awesome! Ryan's Comet is passing > over in two days! CROW: Warning! Warning! Foreshadowing! Foreshadowing! > > The other Rangers approach. > > AISHA > Who's up for lunch? > > ROCKY > You read my mind. MIKE: That would take all of two seconds. > > KIMBERLY > Last one to Ernies buys. > > ADAM > Let's roll! MIKE: Let me guess- they're not just gonna walk or drive there- they're gonna do something oh-so-hip and modern... > > > 8 EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY 8 > > We hear a VOCIFEROUS SISSING SOUND, TOM: The hell? CROW: Did Lewis Carroll write this? but we can't see where > it's coming from. - Suddenly the six Rangers come SCREAMING > AROUND A CORNER ON STATE-OF-THE-ART ROLLERBLADES. MIKE: I knew it! > These kids > are FLYING!! CROW: Didn't they already do that? > > We hear FULL-THROTTLED MUSIC as the kids WEAVE, DUCK and > SWERVE like blading virtuosos. Tommy LEAPS in the air, does a > 180 and SKATES BACKWARD. MIKE. ...slams into a trees and knocks himself unconscious! CROW: Oooohh... He's gonna feel THAT in the morning. > > > THE HIGH BRANCHES.past a large tree as Bulk and Skull DROP > INTO FRAME > > SKULL > Stealth Eagle, huh? The Lame > Duck is more like it! TOM: Look who's talking! At least Bulk has a brain! MIKE: Yeah... The dumber one is called "Skull"... Isn't it ironic? TOM: Don't you think, kids? > > 9 EXT. CITY STREET - DAY 9 > > The Rangers GLIDE around another corner -- there's buildings > on one side of them and a construction site on the other. CROW: And straight ahead- a cliff! MIKE: Woo-hoo! > > TOMMY > Let's take the shortcut! > > Tommy leads them up a plywood ramp -- they LAUNCH TEN FEET > THROUGH THE AIR, PULLING OFF HAIR-RAISING FREE STYLE > MOVES THEN MAKE SPECTACULAR LANDINGS on the construction > site parking structure. > > As they shoot across the concrete, the CAMERA PUSHES IN on: > > 10 EXT. INNER CITY CONSTtZUCTION SITE - DAY 10 TOM: Well, SOMEONE needs a spell checker. > > ... WORKERS operating heavy machinery -- cranes, bulldozer , > etc., Construction Worker jackhammers solid rock. Drill > makes a CLANGING SOUND as it HITS METAL! MIKE: Damn Ark of the Covenant... TOM: Actually, I think that was made of- MIKE: Shut up. > A baffled look comes > over him as he stops the jackhammer, brushes away debris.. > uncovering an ANCIENT IRON PLATE. He gapes at it, too stunned > to speak. > > 11 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - SHORT TIME LATER 11 > > A large hook has been fastened to the iron plate -- a crane > ENGINE ROARS as it HOISTS THE PLATE UP, revealing a CAVERNOUS > OPENING. > > TWO MORE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS have joined the first, all of > them look on in amazement. > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2 > Whadda you figure it is?! MIKE: A big metal thingie with a picture on it. Duh. > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1 > Hey, ya got me. CROW: ...Babe. > > Suddenly a PURPLE STEAM POURS from the opening. And now > something really amazing happens. .. MIKE: The movie gets good? CROW: 'Fraid not. MIKE: Damn. > > A menacing STONE CLAW RISES UP, CRADLING A HUGE STONE > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER # 1 > ... I'll be damned. TOM: Oh! The same thing he said about his career when he took this part. > > As though drawn by it's power, he moves to touch it. MIKE: Something tells me that's a bad idea. CROW: NO? Ya think? > > KZAAAAAAP?!! APURPLE BEAM OF LIGHT BLASTS HIM - SENDS > HIM FLYING TEN FEET THROUGH THE AIR! > > CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1 > AHHHHHHHHH! MIKE: The pause that refreshes! > > > 11A EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY 11A > > A T.V. REPORTER is talking into camera. > > REPORTER > We're here at the World Center > Construction Site, where a > mysterious object was just > uncovered in a freak accident TOM: This whole MOVIE is a freak accident. > in > which one workman suffered minor > injuries... > > 12 > 12 > thru OMITTED > 13 13 MIKE: That's frightening- there was something so BAD it didn't make it into THIS movie! CROW: Maybe it was too good? MIKE: Could be... <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 13A INT. ERNIE'S WATERFRONT CAFE - DAY 13A > > CLOSE ON - T.V. SCREEN > > We see the reporter then a few cuts of GEOLOGISTS combing the > site with scanning equipment and COPS MIKE: ...Filmed on location with the men and women of law enforc ement. 'BOTS: Bad boys, bad boys; whatcha gona do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? > sealing off the area > with yellow tape. > > REPORTER > ... Angel Grove Police have > cordoned off the area until it > can be determined whether or not > the unidentified object poses any > threat. The injured workman was > quoted as saying... MIKE: "AHHHHHHHHH!" > > PULL BACK TO REVEAL A CAFE. > > The Rangers are at a table -- Tommy is teaching Fred martial > arts moves. > > TOMMY > It's one smooth move and then > you've gotta explode off the top. CROW: Oh, Tommy... Oh- MIKE: Crow- that'll be enough... At LEAST confine the sexual innuendoes to the older kids, please... CROW: Fine. > > Tommy executes a wicked JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK. Fred is > wowed. He drops into position. CROW: Oh, PLEASE let me do one more, MIKE! MIKE: No. > > TOMMY > Nice and easy. CROW: AAAAAAHHH!!! MIKE: NO! > > The jovial proprietor, ERNIE, approaches the Rangers' table > with a loaded tray. MIKE: All right- I've got a loaded tray, and I know how to use it! > Fred pulls off a dazzling > JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK and almost knocks Ernie's tray over. TOM: The "jovial" Ernie proceeds to beat the crap out of Fred. The Rangers look on and applaud, as does the audience. MIKE: Kinda dark there, Tom. TOM: Thanks. > > ERNIE > Hey, no Karate on the patio! CROW: No Karate, not allowed! > > FRED > Actually, Ernie, it's Tae-Kwan > Doe. MIKE: ..a deer, a female deer... > > ERNIE > Well Tae-Kwan-Do-it some place > else. All: BAHAHAHA! TOM: Oh, this movie KILLS me! CROW: I wish it WOULD kill me; then I wouldn't have to suffer through it! > > Fred moves off as Ernie serves the desserts. > > ERNIE > So, what're the plans for the > weekend? > > KIMBERLY > Aisha and.I are checking out a > new dance spot. > > AISHA > I heard that! MIKE: Of course you did- she's right there, for crying out loud! > > BILLY > I'll be at the Observatory > Sunday. TOM: THERE'S a big shock! > > ERNIE > That's right - Ryan's Comet. > > ROCKY > We should throw a little comet > shindig. > > ADAM > Any excuse for a party. MIKE: You know it, buddy! ALL: PARTY!! PARTY!! > > Aisha reacts to something off screen. CROW: Damn! Could someone move the TelePrompter(tm)? > > AISHA > The Eagle has landed. > > Bulk and Skull swagger past followed by a GROUP OF KIDS. MIKE: Paul, Jason, can we have your autograph!? CROW: Do you really know Jason David Frank!? TOM: Can you get me nude pictures of Amy Jo Johnson!? > > BULK > The earth was hurtling toward us > at seven hundred miles per hour, > and we knew at that moment that > we were facing death straight in > the eye. TOM: And that's when we wet 'em > > SKULL > We could smell it's breath. MIKE: Sounds like Death needs a Certs! > > Ernie moves off after Bulk and Skull. Tommy's wrist > communicator BEEPS. MIKE: Oh, that'll be my dealer.. Be right back, guys... > The kids exchange glances > than look for a private area. CROW: > > ROCKY > There's a spot over there. > > They move out of everybody's sight. MIKE: And "everybody" is extremely grateful. > > TOMMY (into communicator) > What's up, Alpha? TOM: The sky, the stock market, inflation... MIKE: The "what's up" gag, folks- an oldie but a goodie! > > ALPHA 5 (V.O.) > Rangers, we need you at the > Command Center, L.R.N. ! MIKE: "Lame Ranger Ninnies"? CROW: "Lascivious, Randy Nudists"? TOM: "Little Runny Nodules"? MIKE & CROW: Ewwwww... > > Aisha gives Kimberly a puzzled look. > > KIMBERLY > 'Like Right Now.' ALL: Oh. > > TOMMY > We're on our way. > > They hit their wrist-communicators and instantly TRANSFORM > INTO SIX IRIDESCENT COLUMNS OF COLOR. The columns SHOOT UP > THROUGH a giant oak tree, KNOCKING LEAVES LOOSE. MIKE: And, of course, no one NOTICES this. CROW: Or the fact that the kids didn't pay their tab. > > 14 EXT. COMMAND CENTER - SUNSET 14 > > Zordon's remote headquarters protrudes from a craggy > mountain top -- silhouetted by a glorious sunset. The SIX > STREAK OF COLOR slice downward into the roof. TOM: WHAM! CROW & MIKE: OWWW! > > 15 INT. CONIMAND CENTER - NIGHT 15 MIKE: Wait- so that happened between sunset and night? TOM: It got darker? MIKE: Well, yeah, I KNOW that, but... > > Everything's gone haywire buttons BLINK, emergency > lights FLASH, there's a CACOPHONY OF ELECTRONIC SOUNDS. MIKE: The lights! They're blinking and flashing, and they're flashing and... > > ALPHA 5 works frantically amidst the array of computer > banks while ZORDON looks on from his COLUMN OF LIGHT. CROW: There's a Dave Barry joke in here, I just know it... > > The six Rangers MATERIALIZE, Tommy turns to Zordon. MIKE: And boy, is Kim pissed! > > TOMMY > What's happening? > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi ! ALL: SHUT UP! > Our > thermionic-sensors have been hit > by a CATACLYSMIC surge of evil! CROW: Dr. Forrester must be in the area. MIKE: Yep, that would do it. > > ZORDON > Rangers, you must act swiftly. > The planet is in GRAVE danger! MIKE: Oh, so what ELSE is new? > > KIMBERLY > Danger from what? > > ZORDON > Six thousand years ago MIKE: Oh, God, THIS is gonna take awhile... > a > morphological being known as Ivan > Ooze, ruled the world with a > reign of unparalleled terror. CROW: He called it the Republican Revolution. > Finally, a rebel factor known as > the "Order of the Meledon" lured > him into a hyperlock chamber and > buried him deep underground. MIKE: Why didn't they just kill him? TOM: Cuz then he couldn't get free, and we wouldn't have this movie. MIKE: As I said... > > ALPHA 5 > In a place that came to be known > as Angel Grove. ALL: NO!?!? > > ZORDON > The chamber has been accidently > UNCOVERED! You must return it to > the depths. or anyone should > open it and Ivan is released! TOM: The hell? MIKE: Could you speak in complete sentences, please, Zordon? > > ALPHA 5 > To assist you I have retro-fitted > your helmets with new Opti-Scan > devices. > > ZORDON > Use extreme caution, Rangers. > You are dealing with an evil here > that is beyond ALL comprehension. MIKE: OJ Simpson? TOM: Andrew Cunanon? CROW: Barney? > > > 16 EXT. INNER CITY CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 16 > > Barricades and police tape surround the egg. A SECURITY > GUARD passes his sleeping CO-WORKER, drops into a chair, sips > his coffee. TOM: Must be union. > > BZZWAPP -- ZEDD, RITA, GOLDAR and a short, fat, furry creature > named MORDANT appear. > > RITA > Another Saturday night TOM ...and I ain't got nobody... > and I'm > traipsing around the galaxy with > the THREE LITTLE PIGS! MIKE: Well, you're no prize yourself, Goldilocks! TOM: No, that was the three bears... MIKE: Oh, yeah. > My mother > warned me this would happen! > Rita, she said, after 89 > marriages you might wanna think > about throwing in the towel. Why > didn't I listen to her?! MIKE: Cuz you're an idiot? > > Zedd grumbles to himself. > > ZEDD > That's a good question. TOM: I've heard of wives being a "ball and chain"- but, literally?? > > The stunned guard stirs his sleeping buddy. MIKE: Put your shoes on, honey; we're at gramma's... > > FIRST SECURITY GUARD > Uh... Kurt... you might wanna > take a look at this. CROW: Or not... Whatever. > > Kurt looks up groggily. > > ZEDD > No need to wake him. In fact, > why don't you take a little nap > yourself. > > Zedd ZAPS THE GUYS with a bolt from his staff - MIKE: Office Temps of Death! > they are > knocked out. > > Goldar steps back from the blast and accidentally steps or > Mordant's foot. Mordant KNOCKS on Goldar's metallic leg. > > MORDANT > Hey bonehead, get off my hoof! > > Goldar is oblivious. TOM: What else is new? > Zedd, stands reverently before > the glowing egg shape. MIKE: All bow to the God, Fabrege! > > ZEDD > After two thousand years of > searching... I have finally > found you. CROW: The man of my dreams! > > Mordant BANGS on Goldar's leg again. > > MORDANT > Yo, earth to Bigfoot! > > Goldar SWATS Mordant. > > GOLDAR > Watch your mouth, fuzz-ball! > > ZEDD > SILENCE! ALL: THANK YOU! > > RITA (to Goldar) > Where did you FIND this rabid > little rodent, anyway?! > > GOLDAR > Mordant's my second cousin three > times removed on my mother's > side. He`s just visiting for the > summer. TOM: Do they have summer on the moon? > > RITA > Well put a muzzle on him! MIKE: Whoah! CROW: Gee, I didn't realize Rita was into that sort of thing! MIKE: Well, she does wear "Madonna cones". CROW: Good point. > > Mordant GRUMBLES under his breath. Meanwhile, Zedd aims is > staff at the chamber and BURSTS a blast of energy. The egg > opens up with a wHOOSH of decompressing air. webs of > ELECTRICITY BRANCH OUT, followed by a SWIRL OF BLACK SMOKE. > > When the smoke clears we see a BUBBLING, PURPLE, PHOSPHOSCENT > OOZE. The group gathers around -- Rita sticks a finger in o > the sticky substance. > > RITA > What... you spent two thousand > years looking for this tub of > SNOT! ALL: Ewwww... > > As if in response, the ooze BOILS AND FROTHS. Zedd and Rita > are too busy arguing to notice this. > > ZEDD > Don't you ever have anything nice > to say?! MIKE: No. > > RITA > Well, if I did I certainly > wouldn't say it to you! CROW: And these two are... married? TOM; Are you kidding? From all the other guy told us, they sound _exactly_ like a real married couple! > > We hear a SLITHERING SLURPING SOUND as the substance RISES UP > AND TAKES ON THE GHASTLY SHAPE OF IVAN OOZE. Mordant tugs > at Zedd. > > MORDANT > Boss. > > ZEDD > For your information this is not > just your average, run-of-the- > mill tub of snot ! > > RITA > You're trying to tell me there`re > different levels of snot?! > > MORDANT > Boss. > > ZEDD > WHAT! > > Zedd and Rita finally notice Ivan, standing with his lips > apart, revealing jagged teeth, one of which is made of > GLISTENING SILVER. > > He stretches his sinewy arms, releases an enormous YAWN, puts > his hands on his head, CRACKS it. ALL: Ewww! MIKE: The snot was bad enough; but this is TOO much!! > > IVAN > Ahhhhhhhh. > > Now he SMACKS his lips together, opens his arms theatrically > and gives his trademark stance. CROW: And that is...? > > IVAN > Ladies and Gentlemen... the OOZE > is back!! > > Rita blushes. > > RITA > He's so cute. > > Zedd flashes her an angry look, turns back to Ivan. > > ZEDD > I am Lord Zedd, sworn enemy of > all that is good and decent. It > is a supreme honor to finally > meet you. > > Ivan gives a slight bow. MIKE: ..and a rather unimpressive arrow. > > IVAN > How can I ever repay you? > > ZEDD > Do you recall the name... Zordon > of Eltare? > > Ivan's face goes dark, THUNDER RUMBLES and the site LIGHTS UP > WITH A FLASH OF LIGHTNING. Mordant turns to Goldar. > > MORDANT > Seems to ring a bell. > > ZEDD > I want you to destroy Zordon, so > that my evil may once again reign > SUPREME. > > IVAN (hissing) > I will not only destroy him, I > will OBLITERATE his entire being. CROW: Isn't that pretty much the same thing? > It will be like Zordon > of Eltare never EXISTED! > > RITA > Finally, a real man. > > Goldar hands Ivan a scrap of paper. > > GOLDAR > Here's his address. > > IVAN (reading) > "... left off Interstate 12?!" > > (puzzled) > What's an "interstate"? > > MORDANT > It's like a freeway. How long > have you been locked up? ! MIKE: When was the last time YOU took a bath? > > ZEDD > We shall leave you to weave your > wicked ways. > > RITA > Now we go out on the town. First > dinner, then dancing, then -- > > BZZWAPP!! The foursome DE-MATERIALIZE. > > IVAN > What is that odious stench? MIKE: Probably you. TOM: After 6000 years, you're bound to have an odor of SOME sort... > > His eyes come alive. ALL: AAAAAAH!! > > IVAN > Smell's like... TEENAGERS! MIKE: Gym clothes and cheap cologne? > > 17 OMITTED 17 TOM: Hmmmm... > > 18 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 18 > > On cue, the Power Rangers TELEPORT into the construction site. > > They're surrounded by rock piles, pools of water and a > plethora of building supplies. Billy looks down at the mud > puddle he's standing in. MIKE: You'd think at his age he'd be over that problem... > > BILLY > Remind me to have a word with > Alpha about his teleporting > calculations. MIKE: Right after I disconnect the speech circuit that makes him say "Ay-yi-yi-yi" all the flippin' time... > > They survey the construction site for a moment. > > AISHA > Anybody see anything? CROW: Well, I see rock piles, pools of water and a plethora of building supplies. > > TOMMY > ... Let's take a look over there. > > They advance up a slope -- the egg comes into view. MIKE: Ah! "Aliens"! CROW: Good; maybe a few of these kids'll have a date with a facehugger... > > ROCKY (alarmed) > It looks like it's been opened! MIKE: Rocky is as alert as ever, I see. > > The kids get close to the egg, looking it over with > fascination. Suddenly a hand falls on Aisha. TOM: ...crushing her. MIKE: That was one BIG hand! > > SECURITY GUARD (O.S.} > Hey! TOM: ...Arnold! > > They all whirl around and see the first Security Guard. He > half smiles, shaking his head. > > SECURITY GUARD > You had me scared there. > > AISHA > Makes two of us. > > KIMBERLY > You haven't by any chance seen > a ... morphological being lurking > around? MIKE: Oh, like he's supposed to know what the hell that means! > > SECURITY GUARD > The only thing I've seen is you > teenagers. CROW: Poor guy. > (beat) > And you know... if there's one > thing in the world I reeeeally > hate.... MIKE: Popcorn kernels getting stuck in your teeth? CROW: Tax audits? TOM: When someone tapes over _The_X-Files_? > > CLOSE ON HIS FACE as it SHAPE-SHIFTS INTO THE+ HIDEOUS > VISAGE OF IVAN OOZE. MIKE: OK, who was surprised by this? TOM: Not me. CROW: I saw it comin' a mile away. > > IVAN > It's TEENAGERS > > KIMBERLY > GroSS! MIKE: Bad guys are so icky. > > IVAN > You're too kind. Allow me to > introduce myself. I am the > infamous, world-reviled, > universally despised, IVAN OOZE! > > ROCKY > Well, pack your bags cause we're > sending you back where you came > from! > > IVAN > Gee, a teenager with a big mouth. > Not much has changed in six > thousand years. ALL: > > KIMBERLY > we're not just teenagers, raisin- > head. MIKE: Hmmm; I wonder if he used to be "grape head"? > > TOMMY > We're the Mighty Morphin Power > Rangers! MIKE: And...? > > Ivan puts his hands to his face in mock fear. > > IVAN > Ooooh, where's my autoqraph > book?. TOM: Probably back in your egg. CROW Oh! I call no _Mork_&_Mindy_ jokes! > > He looks them over reproachfully. > > IVAN > Power Rangers, huh? So Zordon is > still using a bunch of rug-rats > to do his dirty work. TOM: Well, it's not like HE can do it- he's a head in a bong, for cryin' out loud! > And > speaking of rats... MIKE: Newt Gingrich, everybody! 'BOTS: > > Ivan raises both hands -- ELECTRICITY SHOOTS OUT HIS FINGERS > and the kids DIVE CLEAR as the bolt ZAPS A THRONG OF RATS. MIKE: Rats!? The stage directions didn't say anything about rats! > > Now, incredibly, the RATS GROWN INTO GRUNTING, SNARLING MAN > SIZED RAT-BEASTS. TOM: Wait- these guys have gone up against turtles with traffic lights stuck to them and fight in giant vehicles that look like animals, and this is "incredible"? > > IVAN > From this moment forth, the world > as you know it SHALL CEASE TO > EXIST! MIKE: Oh, good; I was getting tired of this world, anyway. > > Ivan raises his arms -- thunder CRACKLES and LIGHTNING RIPS > ACROSS THE SKY. > > IVAN > WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE! MIKE I think you're gonna like it... > > An EXPLOSION OF PURPLE SMOKE CONSUMES IVAN. CROW: Gee, already!? I guess the movie's over! MIKE: 'Fraid not, Crow... We haven't even gotten to the first fight scene... > > ROCKY > He's gone. TOM: You know, I'm surprised Mensa hasn't given this guy a call. > > The RATS ATTACK! TOM: Oh, that's that new band I heard last week! > > ADAM > Let's take these beasts!! > > Tommy gets off a stellar CROSS-HOCK TAKEDOWN, Kimberly > delivers a world class HEEL STOMP, Billy executes a lethal > REVERSE HANDSWORD. Despite their valiant efforts, the Rangers > ar being overwhelmed by the fierce combatants. MIKE: Woo-hoo! CROW: Go, rats! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 19 INT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT 19 > > SMOKE POURS from various circuit boards, numerous control > panels VIBRATE. > > ZORDON > Alpha, my sensors tell me the > Rangers were too late! Ivan is > on his way here! CROW: And I don't have a THING to wear! > > ALPHA 5 > Hey, NOBODY enters the Command > Center without a power coin! MIKE: Yeah... Sure... > > There's a BLEET, BLEET -- emergency lights start FLASHING near > the entrance. Alpha watches, forlorn, as OOZE SEEPS through > the hairline cracks in the door. > > ALPHA 5 > Well... ALMOST nobody. ALL: Wah-wah-wah... > > The ooze SLITHERS AND GURGLES ACROSS THE FLOOR, once again > IVAN RISES UP. He takes in the state-of-the-art surroundings. MIKE: COOL! Where's your stereo? > > IVAN > Gee... pretty fancy-shmancy. I > guess if you invest your money > well over SIXTY centuries you can > buy something pretty nice. TOM: Yeah, but I'm mortgaged up to my eyeballs! > > Alpha drops into a Karate stance, makes some BRUCE LEE NOISES > then LUNGES. > > ALPHA 5 > HI , YAH ! MIKE: Hi ya! > > Ivan holds his arm out, ZAPS Alpha with an electrical charge > Alpha starts spinning. > > ALPHA 5 > Welcome to Wiener World. May I > take your order, please? MIKE: Would you like fries with that? > > ZORDON > You haven't changed, Ooze. > You're still picking on creatures > smaller than yourself. > > Ivan slowly circles Zordan's column of light, Zordon turns > with him. ALL: To everything turn, turn, turn... > > IVAN > Put a cork in it "Z" . Ten > minutes out of the egg and I'm > already listening to one of your > lectures. > > (he explodes furiously) MIKE: ...all over the place! CROW: Yuck! > > You robbed me of my PRIME! I was > the Supreme Ruler of the most > foul Empire in the Universe. I > was the King of Calamity. The > Duke of Destruction. The big man > on campus! MIKE: The Big Cheese! The Top Dog! King of the Hill! Top of the Heap! > (beat) TOM: "Beat" who? CROW: Let's start with Haim Saban and work our way down... > And then you came along. You > locked me into your stuffy little > hyperlock-chamber and tossed me > into the depths like yesterdays > TRASH! > > ZORDON > It worked for six thousand years. > > IVAN > Don't remind me! MIKE: I just did! HA! > > IVAN > Do you have any idea what it's > like to be cooped up in a rotten > egg for six thousand years? MIKE: Cramped? CROW: Smelly? > It's > BORING! ALL: Oh. > Not to mention I've had > a Charlie horse since the > Renaissance! But now the tables > are turned. Now... > > IVAN raises his hands - he is holding a flute and he PLAYS A > FEW NOTES TOM: ...And the Green DragonZord emerges from the ocean and beats the living daylights out of this episode's monster. > > IVAN > ... it's time to pay the PIPER! > > He uses the flute like a lightning rod -- A BOLT OF LIGHTNING > BLASTS A PANEL TO SMITHEREENS. > > IVAN > Oh, the things that I have > missed. The BLACK PLAGUE! TOM: Reaganomics! > > He blows up another PANEL. > > IVAN > > The SPANISH INQUISITION! > ALL: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! > (another bolt) > > The 70's! MIKE: Well, he's got a point with that one. CROW: True. > > HE BLOWS UP ANOTHER PANEL. Ivan CASTS ANOTHER LIGHTNING > BOLT, DEMOLISHING AN ENERGY PILLAR. > > IVAN > And now, finally, I have the > strength to DESTROY your pathetic > powers FOREVER!! MIKE: Or at least until about halfway through this movie... > > ZORDON > YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! > > IVAN > I've got a NEWS flash for you > LIGHT-BRIGHT -- I ALREADY HAVE! ALL: Ha. Ha. Ha. > > Now Ivan begins to THROW LIGHTNING EVERYWHERE, LAYING > THE COMMAND CENTER TO WASTE. > > Ivan laughs in the b.g. as Alpha continues to spin, > moving his arms in and out. > > ALPHA 5 > You put your left probe in, CROW: Oh, Alpha, don't say "probe"... > you > put your left probe out, you put > your left probe in and you shake > it all about. You do the hokey- > pokey and you turn yourself > around... ALL: That's what it's all about- HEY! > > > 20 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 20 > > Two rats charge Aisha and she LEAPS UPWARD - the pair SMASH > into each other. > > Rocky picks up a two-by-four and starts SPARRING with another > rat. TOM: You dirty rat... > > Billy SHOVES A HUGE WOODEN-SPOOL down a slope and it > ROLLS INTO A COUPLE OF RATS, BOWLING THEM OVER. MIKE: Oh, and Billy picks up the spare! > > One rat CRACKS IT'S TAIL like a whip, KNOCKING Adam to > the ground. > > Another rat gets Kimberly in a bear hug and she makes a > face. > > KIMBERLY > RAT breath!! TOM: This from a girl who kisses TOMMY. CROW: OUCH! > > She grabs a handful of his whiskers. > > KIMBERLY > Somebody needs a shave. > > She YANKS THEM OUT, the rat SQUEALS and releases her. The > fight well, but the rats start to get the upperhand. > > TOMMY > IT'S MORPHIN TIME! MIKE: The kids proceed to shoot up. TOM: No; "morphin", not "morphine"... MIKE: Oh. > > The Rangers click their power coins into their power morphers. MIKE: Then open up their powerbooks, put on their power ties, and schedule power lunches. > > KIMBERLY > PTERODACTYL! > > BILLY > TRICERATOPS! MIKE: Passenger pigeon! > > ROCKY > TYRANNOSAURUS! CROW: Dodo bird! > > ADAM > MASTODON! TOM: Prezwalski's horse! > > AISHA > SABER TOOTH TIGER! > > TOMMY > WHITE TIGER! > > RANGERS > MORPHENOMENAL! > > They JUMP INTO THE AIR and they're ENGULFED IN A DAZZLING > GOLDEN LIGHT as we do a 3D MOVIE VERSION OF THEIR > TRANSFORMATION INTO COSTUME. MIKE: Who's "we"? > > They all LAND and there's a WHIRRING SOUND as all six of the > face pieces POLARIZE so we can see their faces. The rats > immediately scurry off. CROW: I would too if I had to look at those faces! > > TOMMY > Let's teach these vermin a few > manners. TOM: Emily Post, Gold Power Ranger. > > AISHA > Activating Power Beam! CROW: Ooh! Nice "headlights", Aisha! MIKE: Crow! TOM: Oh, let him have his fun. > > A YELLOW BEAM SLICES THROUGH THE DARKNESS. Aisha leads the > group through the site. > > KIMBERLY > Everybody stay alert. TOM: ZZzzz... Huh? > > (CONTINUED) ALL: NOOO!! > - NEXT FILE > PAGES 21 ONWARDS > > 20 CONTINUED: (2) 20 > > They pass a bulldozer, some scaffolding MIKE: ...rock piles, pools of water, and a plethora of building supplies... > > ADAM > Hold it... > > They come to a stop. > > ADAM (pointing) > I heard something over there. > > BILLY > Activating Audio Enhancer! TOM: What? I can't quite hear you?! See, cuz... Aw, forget it. > > AN AUTO-PHONIC RECEIVER POPS OUT of the side of Billy's > helmet. As he turns his head, the receivers ROTATE. MIKE: RADAR! > > SOUND EFFECT: We hear silence and then... a RASPY > BREATHING, followed by a GUTTURAL SNARL. TOM: The audience is getting restless... > > BILLY > They're on the other side of that > wall. > > The Rangers advance along a cement wall, slowly round a > corner. Aisha's light PANS THROUGH THE GLOOM. > > TOMMY > Anybody see them? MIKE: Nope. The audience is gone. > > ROCKY > Activating Power Scope! TOM: Isn't it convenient that they got all this neato equipment just minutes before this fight? > > A SCOPE SNAPS into place over Rocky's left eye. TOM: Oh, no! Rocky's been turned into a Borg! CROW: You say that like it's a _bad_ thing... > > P.O.V. - THROUGH POWER TRACKER > > We see HEAT SENSOR OUTLINES, PULSATING CROW: Oh, yeah.... Baaayyyybee... > WITH COLOR. > COMMAND GRAPHIC: SEARCH MODE. > > Lines VECTOR and SCAN as Rocky searches the area. Eventually > he looks up and the lines LOCK ON TO THE PULSATING FORMS OF > THE RATS. > > ROCKY > THEY'RE ABOVE US!! MIKE: They're everywhere, man! Game over! Game over! > > The creatures LEAP DOWN and we see the Rangers pull off > KICKS, SUCKER PUNCHES, SPINBACK-ROUNDHOUSES, you name it. MIKE: Bitch-slapping! CROW: Kneeing 'em in the groin! > > One of the beasts TACKLES Tommy and the pair go TUMBLING > OWN A TWENTY FOOT ROCK PILE. Aisha picks up a handful of dirt > > AISHA > Hey, handsome! ALL Yes? > > A beast turns -- Aisha FLINGS dirt in his eyes. > > AISHA > My mistake. CROW: No, your mistake was being in this movie! > > She follows through with an OVER SHOULDER THROW -- > the beast CRASHES INTO A JOHNNY-ON-THE-SPOT. MIKE: OW! Hey, watch it! TOM: As long as it wasn't a Johnny-Yong-Bosch-on-the-Spot... He's the only one of these guys who can act! > > Rocky fights another beast and the creature SWINGS > UP THROUGH SCAFFOLDING with phenomenal dexterity. Rocky goes > after him. > > TOMMY > SABA SABER? MIKE: ...sells seashells at the seashore to seasick sailors for seven cents! > > The talking Saber appears in Tommy's hand. > > SABA (yawning) > What a DREAM I was having! CROW: I was naked in the middle of a fight! It was SO embarrassing! > > TOMMY > We've got company. > > Saba sees the rats. > > SABA > Rats! I hate rats! MIKE: Snakes... I hate snakes... > > We hear a PRIMITIVE CRY as a beast SLAMS INTO ADAM, > SENDS HIM CATAPULTING. Adam rises, speaks in a low growl. MIKE: AH! He's turned feral on us! > > ADAM > Bad move, Willard! > > He holds his hand in the air. CROW: And waves 'em like he just don't care. > > ADAM > STEGA-STINGER! MIKE: You are NOT ready! > > The STEGA-STINGER appears in Adam`s hand. He aims > it toward an overhang, FIRES. A thin wire SHOOTS OUT -- the > Stinger at the end PIERCES the overhang. > > ADAM > Coming through! TOM: ...Hot stuff! LOOK out! > > Adam leaps off a platform, SWINGS THROUGH THE AIR like Tarzan, > SLAMS into the rat and sends him CATAPULTING. > > ADAM > Target Neutralized? MIKE: Don't ask us- it's your movie! > > KIMBERLY > Raptor-Ribbon! > > A contraption APPEARS in Kimberly's hand and she throws her > arm out -- a LONG RIBBON SWIRLS out and tangles itself around > the rat. CROW: Gee, who knew being a rhythm gymnast would be a requirement for becoming a Power Ranger!? > > KIMBERLY > Now you see `em. > > She yanks the ribbon pulling the rat into an opening -- he > DISAPPEARS. CROW: Ewww! He disappeared into "an opening"! I don't EVEN wanna think about what THAT could mean. MIKE: Gee, I wasn't thinking _anything_ until you brought it up! > > KIMBERLY > Now you don't. > > Billy takes a hit, ROLLS across the ground. He stops inches > away from a twenty foot drop-off. MIKE: Damn... So close. > > The beast CHARGES HIM, MIKE: Hey! I thought you said this drink was on the house?! > he ducks and the beast GOES FLYING > THROUGH THE AIR AND SPLASHES DOWN IN ONE OF THE MUDDY > POOLS OF WATER. > > BILLY > Not the brightest of beasts. CROW: Takes one to know one. > > Rocky is now up in the scaffolding. He DROPS TEN FEET through > the air, LANDS ON ONE END OF A BOARD. > > There's a beast at the other end and he goes FLIPPING THROUGH > THE AIR. > > Tommy throws Saba Saber and the knife SWOOPS THROUGH THE AIR TOM: I really wish they'd stop SHOUTING... > and zings around the beasts as they try to knock him down. > > SABA > Na na na na na! MIKE: Saba-na-na, na-na-na-na-na/ Get a job... > > The rats chase after Saba as he heads into a water-slicked > area. There's a large power cable running across it. Once > all the rats are in the water, Saba kamikaze dives into the > cable, SLICING IT OPEN WITH AN ERUPTION OF SPARKS. The water > SIZZLES WITH ELECTRICITY and the rats GO UP IN A PUFF OF > SMOKE. > > SABA > Fried mice, anyone? ALL: Oh, oh! > > We see the six original small rats scurry away, SQUEAKING. TOM: Six Rangers, six rats... How... Something. CROW: Yeah... Something... > > Suddenly, there's an EXPLOSION OF ELECTRICAL ACTIVITY and the > Rangers watch, stunned, as their COSTUMES DE-MATERIALIZE MIKE: Ah!! > and > they appear back in civilian clothes. MIKE: Whew! > > KIMBERLY > What's going on?! > > Billy tries his wrist communicator. > > BILLY > Alpha, come in! > > There's no response. TOM: Either they are unwilling to respond, or they are unable to respond. > > TOMMY > We'd better get back. MIKE: To where you once belonged? > > They all hit their communicators and nothing happens. > > AISHA (worried) > Something's wrong! TOM: Boy, she's quick! > > TOMMY > Come on, guys... > > They hurry off. MIKE: Run! There's still a chance to save your careers! CROW: Speaking of running... Let's go. <@ 1 2 3 4 5 6> CROW: Whatcha got there, Servo? TOM: Nothing! Nothing at all! CROW: So you ARE a fanboy! I knew it! Fanboy! Fanboy! TOM: No! I'm not... I'm... WAAAAHHH!!! My life is a sham! MIKE: Hey guys, what's up? TOM: Daddy didn't love me! CROW: Tommy-Boy here is a Power Ranger fan! Isn't that the funniest thing? Fanboy! Fanboy! MIKE: Oh, MAN! That is so pathe- Hey, is that the Pink Ranger? TOM: Maybe.. Why? MIKE: Oh. Uh. No reason. CROW: Fanboy! Fanboy! Fan-- what was that, Mike? MIKE: Nothin'... TOM: Admit it, Mike... Make it easier for both of us. MIKE: No! There's no way I'm going to admit I have a crush on Amy Jo Johnson! TOM & CROW: Fanboy! Fanboy! Fanboy! MIKE: Hey, have you SEEN Amy Jo Johnson in short shorts? TOM: Well, she's no Donna Dixon. CROW: But who is, really? MIKE: Besides... it's not like *I'm* the one playing with the Power Ranger dolls! TOM: It's a medical condition, ok?! CROW: Fanboys! FANBOOOOYS! TOM: Don't you see? My father didn't show me enough attention as a little boy, and now I'm reduced to this! CROW: FAAAAAANNNNBBBOOOOOYYYYSSSS!!! MIKE: You don't even *have* a father! TOM: See what I mean? MIKE: Then what does that have to do with dolls? TOM: They're "ACTION FIGURES"! CROW: Oh, what's the matter, Tom? Do you wanna be alone with your little dollies? TOM: They AREN'T dolls! Mike, make him stop! MIKE: Crow... Stop. CROW: Not until he calls them dollies! TOM: ACTION FIGURES! MIKE: Crow! CROW: Tom! TOM: Miiiiiike! MIKE: Tom, call them dollies, then we can end this madness, ok? TOM: But they're not dollies! CROW: Dollies! Fanboy! MIKE: Tom, please? TOM: Ok, so they're... MIKE: Aaaaaaaaahhh! We got Script Sign! TOM: Whew! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > > 21 EXT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT 21 > > The Rangers climb a mountain path, all of them looking > alarmed. Up ahead, there's a PILLAR OF BLACK SMOKE rising > from the Command Center. > > > 22 INT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT 22 > > The place is trashed -- there's SMOKING debris, ravaged > panels, exposed wires and mechanisms. The kids move through > the wreckage in numb silence. > > TOMMY (barely audible) > ... what happened here?... > > Adam spots Alpha's arm protruding from a mound of rubble. TOM: Woo-hoo! Alpha's dead! All: > > ADAM > Guys! MIKE: Yes? > > The kids quickly uncover the battered robot. > > BILLY > Alpha, are you okay?! TOM: Pleasesayno, pleasesayno, plasesayno.... > > ALPHA 5 > I'll GET you my pretty, and your > little DOG toa!! > > BILLY > He must've blown an anitromic > demodulator! CROW: Gee, I didn't know he was into that sort of thing. > > KIMBERLY (stunned) > Oh, no... TOM: Oh, like she even understands what Billy said! > > Everybody follows Kimberly's gaze, thunderstruck expressions > coming over them. MIKE: Followed by lightning and a 30% chance of rain. > > Laying on a destroyed bed of crystals is Zordon. TOM: You will bow before me, son of Jor-El! > He is still a > SHIMMERING SPECTRAL being, only now he s aged a good fifty > years. MIKE: As opposed to a bad 50 years. > > The kids stand over him, forlorn. > > AISHA > ... What's happening to him?' > > BILLY > Outside of his time warp he's > aging at a vastly acellerated > rate! MIKE: COOL! > > KIMBERLY > We have to help him! > > Zordon opens his eyes. CROW: Oh, damn- you kids are still here. > > ZORDON > ... Rangers... thank goodness > you're safe. > > The kids drop down beside him. > > TOMMY > We have to get you back inside > your time warp. ALL: Let's do the Time Warp again! > > ZORDON > I'm afraid that's impossible... > The power has been destroyed. > It's gone... The Zords, the > weapons... all of it. ALL: Woo-hoo! > (beat) > The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers MIKE: Yes, please do. > are no more. All: > > The kids are stunned. Kimberly gently takes Zordon's hand. TOM: Ewww... He's gonna want that back, ya know. > > KIMBERLY > Zordon... you can't leave us. TOM: You haven't seen the Turbo episodes, have ya, Kim? Not only CAN he leave you, but he did! MIKE: Thanks for that tidbit of info, Tom. TOM: Any time, Mike. > Ever since you came into our > lives... you've been like another > father `to us all.- CROW: Oh, so THAT'S why my real name is "Zordon, Jr"! > > ZORDON > ... You must be strong... MIKE: And try to hang on... CROW: Wow, two Rocky Horror references in the same scene! > Ivan > almost overthrew the planet > once... and now I'm afraid he > has the strength to see his > scheme through. TOM: Well, hey, at least he finishes what he starts. > > Zordon closes his eyes. Tommy puts a hand on Kimberly's > shoulder. MIKE: Probably the same hand Kim took from Zordon a few lines ago. > The kids slowly rise, all of them looking utterly > despondent. Billy turns to Alpha. CROW: Yeah, I can see Billy being into- MIKE: Don't finish that thought, please. CROW: Well... Since you said "please". > > BILLY > what're we going to do? 'BOTS: Panic! AHHH!! > > ALPHA 5 > I do not LIKE Green Eggs and Ham! > I do not like them, Sam-I-am! TOM: So, basically, Alpha is only slightly less useful and incomprehensible than usual. > > Billy opens a panel on Alpha's back, makes an adjustment. > Alpha's head rolls back like he's going to sneeze. > > ALPHA 5 > Ah-Ah-Ahhhh-CHOO!! ALL: Gesundheit! > > SPARKS BURST from where his nose should be. He SNIFFS. CROW: Whew! You guys need a shower! > > ALPHA 5 > Thanks, Billy. > > Rocky hands Alpha a hanky, Alpha wipes his nose area. MIKE: Ewww... TOM: I guess this is what they meant by "different levels of snot". > > ADAM > There has to be something we can > do. > > TOMMY > Come on, guys, think! TOM: Wha? > > Aisha turns to Alpha. CROW: Well, now- MIKE: Enough, Crow... > > AISHA > Alpha. Is there any way we can > defeat this monster? Any way at > all? TOM: You could show him a bunch of Zeo episodes and bore him to death. > > ALPHA 5 > ... Perhaps there is a way... I > have heard tales of another > power. MIKE: There is... another! > > ADAM > What?! TOM: Which word didn't you understand? CROW: Probably all of them. TOM: No, that's ROCKY who's the monumental idiot. CROW: Oh. MY mistake. > > ALPHA 5 > ... They say that somewhere > beyond the Hyperion Constellation > there exists a mythological power > that is beyond all comprehension. MIKE: Well now, that makes sense- they'll look for a mythological power beyond all comprehension to battle an evil beyond all comprehension. CROW: I just don't understand any of this... TOM: Oh, good one, Crow. > > TOMMY > How can we get to it? > > ALPHA 5 > As the legend goes, the power is > impossible to obtain. CROW: Well then why are you telling us about it?!? > > ROCKY > We have to try, Alpha. It's our > only hope. MIKE: But it's _impossible_ to obtain... > > Alpha shakes his head. > > ALPHA 5 > It's far too dangerous. Zordon > would never allow it. TOM: I got news for ya, bubble-head, Zordon's not really in a position to argue right now... > > AISHA > If we don't try, Zordon won't > survive! > > ADAM > If Ivan Ooze isn't stopped, > nobody will survive. > > Alpha heaves a sigh. > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi, yi. MIKE: ARGH! > (beat) > The legend speaks of a Master > Warrior who lives on the planet > Phaedos... This is the only > person who knows the secrets of > the power. > > AISHA > How can we reach Phaedos? CROW: Easy; it's the second star to the right, and straight on till morning. > > Alpha heaves a SIGH. MIKE: As does the audience. > > ALPHA 5 > Zordon's going to have my > orbicular spheroids when he hears > out about this! MIKE: And you know how painful THAT can be! TOM: Well, actually... > > The kids exchange curious looks as Alpha opens a compartment > and removes a vile CROW: "A vile" what? > filled with RADIOLUMINESCENT ENERGY. > > ALPHA 5 > This is an emergency reserve of > morphonic emissions. It should TOM: "Moronic emissions"? Mike: Ewwww... > be enough to get -you there. > > He approaches a damaged panel, loads in the vile. MIKE: So, these people are writing movie scripts, and they don't even know the difference between "vile" and "vial"? > > ALPHA 5 > There is one problem. I only > have enough reserve to send you > Phaedos... I can't bring you > back. MIKE: So they'll be stuck there, right? And this is bad- why? > > ADAM > So how do we get back? > > Alpha gives them a grim look. TOM: And heaves a sigh? > > ALPHA 5 > ... You'll have to pray that the > legends are true. > > Alpha keys in coordinates. > > ALPHA 5 > You're sure you want to do this?! > The Rangers share purposeful looks. TOM: Alpha says that? > > TOMMY > It's our only hope. MIKE: Help me, Obi-... Aw, skip it. > > Alpha shakes his head, punches in the final codes. > > ALPHA > Safe journey, Rangers! > > He pulls a lever. TOM: There's 50 ways to love your lever! > > ALPHA 5 > BE CAREFUL!! MIKE: Nice knowing you! See you in Hell! > > The kids TRANSFORM INTO SIX STREAKS OF COLOR AND BLAST 0FF > THROUGH THE CEILING. Alpha shakes his head in despair. TOM: They're gonna come back- I just know it. > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi, yi. They're DOOMED!! ALL: MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! > > 23 thru 27 OMITTED TOM: Aw, man! Those scenes could've been GOOD, too! MIKE: I wouldn't bet on it. > > 28 EXT. EARTH - NIGHT 28 > > We see the SIX COLORED STREAKS BLAST away from earth and SHOOT > PAST the moon. MIKE: ...running smack into a cow. > > The CAMERA MOVES IN on Zedd's ominous palace which rises up > out of the tortured landscape. Zedd, Rita, Mordant and Goldar > are standing on the balcony. MIKE: Oh, Romeo, Romeo... > > 29 INT. ZEDD'S PALACE - NIGHT 29 TOM: Zedd's Palace: After Dark. > > Zedd, Rita and their minions are inside Zedd's dark palace > Goldar looks through Rita's telescope as Rita rants. > > RITA (outraged) > How could he let them slip > through his hands?! He's no > better than the rest of the hired > help around here! > > Goldar looks up from the telescope. CROW: I LOVE it when Scorpina forgets to close the drapes when she changes... > > GOLDAR > According to the TX Tracker, > they're headed for Phaedos. > > ZEDD > I'm gonna fire that slimeball so > fast his not gonna know what hit > him! > > Ivan sweeps regally into the room. > > IVAN > Hi, honey, I'm home ! MIKE: Thanks for the warning! > > RITA > You garlic-sucking DINGLEBRAIN! > The Rangers are going after the > Great Power > (to Zedd) > I thought you said this guy was > the Master of Disaster? > (to Ivan) > He's nothing but a slime- > infested, jelly-bellied blob of -- > > Ivan SNAPS his hand -- a WAD OF OOZE FLIES OUT, SPLATS RITA > across the mouth, muffling her. ALL: > > RITA > Rrgh mmffpprr brghuh!! > > ZEDD > How dare you?! Nobody shuts up > Rita but me! MIKE: Spousal abuse is FUN! > > IVAN > Sorry, slick, there's been a > slight'change of plans. > (arms out in trademark stance) > The "booger man" is taking over. MIKE: Ewwww... TOM: Gratuitous snot joke #3! > > Ivan drops regally into Zedd's chair. CROW: How do you "drop" regally? > > ZEDD > Nobody double-crosses Lord Zedd > and lives! > > Mordant slips behind Goldar, using him as a shield. > > MORDANT > Zedd's gonna kick this snotball > into next week! > > Zedd SHOOTS A BLAST from his staff -- Ivan is COVERED IN > SPARKS. > > IVAN > Ooooh, that tickles! CROW: Oh, this is so wrong... > > Ivan raises his hands and the sparks DISAPPEAR. > > IVAN > My turn. > > > He ZAPS Rita and Zedd, and with a BRILLIANT FLASH, THEY'RE > GONE. TOM: Damn! And they're the BEST villains this show has ever had! > > Mordant moves to a snow-globe on the table, his mouth falling > open. Zedd and Rita are INSIDE IT!! > > Rita wipes the ooze off her mouth, RANTS IN A MUNCHKIN VOICE. ALL: We are the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild... > > RITA > This is all your fault! If you'd > taken me out tonight like you > were suposed to, none of this > would've happened. > > Ivan turns menacingly to Goldar and Mordant. > > IVAN > Now you have a choice, either > serve me, or join those > insufferable cheesedongs. MIKE: Let's leave this one alone, ok? > > Mordant and Goldar exchange a look, then turn back to Ivan. > > GOLDAR > We never liked the cheesedongs in > the first place. > > MORDANT > Couldn''t stand them -- low-class > all the way. And did you catch > a whiff of their BREATH?! CROW: He should talk... > It's > like having a conversation with > a couple of ONIONS! Not to > mention... > > Goldar throws a hand over Mordant's mouth, MIKE: There's that rogue, detachable hand again! CROW: Man, that thing is everywhere... > MUFFLING him. > > GOLDAR (apologetic) > He's just visiting for the > summer. > (beat) TOM: Yes, please beat him. And hit yourself a few time while you're at it. > Now what about,the Rangers, oh > hideous one? > > IVAN > Ah yes, the RANGERS!!! > > He makes a HOARKING SOUND then SPITS OOZE ONTO THE FLOOR, ALL: EEEWWWWWWWWWW!!! > > MORDANT > Gasunteidt. > > Now the OOZE GROWS INTO TEN TENGU WARRIORS -- BIRD-LIKE > CREATURES WITH LONG BEAKS AND ENORMOUS WINGS. > > THEY GOBBLE, SQUAWK AND CHIRP like newborn chickens, the > CACOPHONY GROWING LOUDER AND LOUDER ALL: Woo! PACKERS! Packers win, etc... > until... > > IVAN > SHUT YOUR BEAKS !! > > The Tengu fall dead silent. TOM: And the audience just falls dead. > > IVAN > Tengu Warriors, you will fly to > Phaedos, find the Power > Rangers... and TEAR THEM APART! MIKE: But not necessarily in that order. > > The creatures make HORRENDOUS SQUAWKING SOUNDS AS THEY > SPREAD THEIR REPTILIAN WINGS. > > IVAN > Mordant, go with them and report > back to me! > > MORDANT > You know boss, I'd really like to > help out but I've got this > gastronomic condition which rules > out all space trave-- MIKE: Mordant; the C-3PO of bad guys. > > One of the Tengu grabs hold of Mordant and the FLOCK WINGS OFF > LIKE COLOSSAL BATS. > > MORDANT > IIIIIII!!! CROW: Oh, it's bad enough when Alpha does it- now him, too? > > ANGLE ON - SNOW GLOBE > > Zedd waves his arms around in outrage. > > ZEDD > Isn't this just TYPICAL! We > finally do somebody a good turn > and just look what happens! > > RITA > From now on it's E-V-I-L, NO > exceptions! > > RITA (optional line) > It just goes to show, ya never go > into business with a booger. TOM: Hmmm... I like the first one. CROW: But the second one has yet another snot reference. TOM: Oh, good point. > > 29A EXT. OUTER SPACE - NIGHT 29A TOM: How do you have NIGHT in outer space? > > The Tengu warriors sweep toward us ALL: AAAH!! > -- we see Mordant dangling > from one of the Tengu's talons. > > MORDANT > Watch the HAIRRRRRRRR!! ALL: Give me a head with HAIR! Long beautiful HAAAAIIIR! > > He SWINGS PAST CAMERA and out of sight. > > 30 thru 32A OMITTED MIKE: Look at it this way, guys- that's two less parts we have to read. > > 32B EXT. SPACE 32B > > The COLORED STREAKS OF LIGHT SHOOT THROUGH THE COSMOS, > heading down toward the planet, PHAEDOS. It's emerald > green with two radiant golden circles around it. > > 32C EXT. JUNGLE CLEARING / PHAEDOS - DAY 32C > > The STREAKS OF COLOR hit the jungle floor and only FIVE > RANGERS MATERIALIZE. TOM: I hope Tommy's the one who didn't make it. > > TOMMY > Everybody okay? TOM: Damn. > > KIMBERLY > Where' s BILLY? ! TOM: No! Not Billy! I actually LIKE Billy! > > The kids search the sky in a panic. > > 32D OMITTED 32D > > 32E INT. COMMAND CENTER - DAY 32E > > Alpha works frantically hitting buttons and levers. > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi, yi! The filamentary > transistors have malfunctioned! MIKE: Don't you just hate it when that happens? > > SPARKS erupt from the panel, SINGING ALPHA. ALL: Alpha... Alpha... > He snarls. > > ALPHA 5 > Why you low-frequency, battery > operated -- CROW: Oh, Alpha, don't say "battery operated"... > > Alpha winds up and DELIVERS A MIGHTY KICK to the panel. > suddenly comes to life with BLEEPS and BLIPS. > > 32F EXT. JUNGLE CLEARING / PHAEDOS - DAY (OLD SC. 32C) > > The Rangers continue scouring the sky as BILLY COMES FLYING. MIKE: ...but he gets too close to the sun, so the wax on his wings melt, and he plummets to his death. > > BILLY > WHOAAAAAAHHHH!!! > > He SPLASHES DOWN in a puddle. > AISHA > BILLY!! CROW: Don't be a hero! CROW: Oh, ONE of us was gonna say it eventually. TOM: He's right, you know. MIKE: Yeah... > > The others quickly gather around him. > > KIMBERLY > You okay? > > BILLY > I think so. CROW: Lean in a little closer Kim, then I'll DEFINITELY feel better > > Billy looks down at the puddle. > > BILLY > This puddle thing is really > getting on my nerves. TOM: Losing bladder control is so tragic. > > They help Billy up then take in the exotic jungle environment. > They hear all sorts of EXOTIC ANIMAL SOUNDS. ALL: Mmmooooo... > > AISHA > Welcome to beautiful downtown > Phaedos. > > ROCKY > ... Incredible... > > Tommy gives them all an invigorating look. TOM: What, exactly, is an "invigorating look"? > > TOMMY > Let's see if we can find this > Master warrior. > > He leads the team down a narrow path. MIKE: To their doom. <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 32G EXT. CHEMICAL PLANT - DAY (OLD SC 32D) 32G > > Establishing. > > 33 INT. CHEMICAL PLANT - DAY 33 > > Ivan is walking through a giant chemical plant with Goldar > > IVAN > Taking over the world is one > thing. It's finding good help to > run it for you that's the killer. TOM: I thought Jerry Lee Lewis was "The Killer"...? > > GOLDAR > You want me to place a few calls? > > Ivan shakes his head. MIKE: Somebody please kill him. > > IVAN > No need. I'm going to use the > young minds of Angel Grove. MIKE: But they've all been destroyed by madness. > > GOLDAR digs for buried treasure deep in his nose. TOM: EEWWWWWW... CROW: ENOUGH with the snot jokes, people! > > GOLDAR > No offense, boss, but they might > find you a little disgusting. MIKE: Three words, Goldar: Pot. Kettle. Black. > > IVAN > Yes, well, I suppose you'd know > a little something about that. MIKE: D'oh! > (beat) TOM: ...me. > Not to worry. I'll ever so > gently lure them in and mold them > into an army of devils! CROW: Oh, no! He's gonna make them Young Republicans! > And what > better way to entice them ... TOM: ...then with BOOZE! Yes, Booze; enticing any time, for any age. MIKE: This message brought to you by the Booze Council. > than with a little Ivan's Ooze?! ALL: NOOO!!! MIKE: Wait- we don't even know what that is... TOM: No, but it sounds snot-related... MIKE: Good point. > > Ivan approaches an enormous vat, turns a tap -- it BURPS and > GLOPS as PURPLE OOZE pours out. TOM: Told ya. > > GOLDAR > But boss, what about their > parents? > > IVAN > Ah, the old and doddering. CROW: This coming from a guy who's over 6000 years old. > I'm > going to SCOURGE their puny > minds, reducing them to ZOMBIE'S. TOM: Ah, you're gonna make 'em listen to Rush Limbaugh eh? > And then I'll put them to work > rebuilding my empire. > > Bulk and Skull enter waving a "help wanted" flier. Both > them are wearing their garish blazers and dark sunglasses. TOM: Oh, it's the Idiots in Black! > > SKULL > I understand you're looking for > a few new assistants. > > Bulk does a G.Q. stance. MIKE: Don't ever do that again. > > BULK > Well put your mind to rest `cause > now you've got the best. > > Ivan doesn't look too pleased. CROW: He must've seen the opening take for this movie. > > IVAN > What is this?! I advertised for > brilliant and good looking > assistants! > > Skull extends his hand. > > SKULL > Hi, I'm brilliant. > > BULK (hand extended) > And I'm good looking. > > Ivan steps forward. > > IVAN > And I'm Little-Bo-Peep. ALL: Baaah-baaaaahh > > Bulk and Skull lower the sunglasses and take a good look > Ivan. Both of them swallow hard. MIKE: Stop saying "swallow"! TOM: Not to mention "hard". > > SKULL > Bulk... why don't we give Mr. > Peep here a chance to think it > over? > > BULK > A stellar idea, Skull. > > They start to back away. > > IVAN > Not so fast, greaseballs. > > Goldar blocks their way. > > IVAN > You'll have to do. > > 34 thru 38 OMITTED > > 39 EXT. PHAEDOS JUNGLE - DAY 39 > > The Rangers move through foreboding jungle terrain, their ears > alert to all the UNEARTHLY SOUNDS around them. TOM: Their eyes, however, are shut tight. > Tommy watches > Kimberly, who seems to be lost in thought. MIKE: How could he tell? Doesn't she always have that dazed expression? > > TOMMY > Hey. CROW: ...is for horses. > > Kimberly glances up. > > TOMMY > You okay? > > Kimberly takes a moment to answer. MIKE: Must... THINK... Must... try to... form words... > > KIMBERLY > I was just thinking about > Zordon... everything we've been > through together. CROW: Let's NOT go there... > > AISHA > You know, meeting Zordon... > teaming up with you guys, TOM: ...really sucks. > it's > the best thing that's ever > happened to me. MIKE: That is SO sad... > > ROCKY > It's the best thing that's ever > happened to all of us. ALL: WAAAAHHH!!! MIKE: This is so beautiful! CROW: This is so _nauseating_... > > ADAM > ... He's gonna make it, guys. > > The others nod in agreement. > > TOMMY > We'll get this warrior... save > Zordon... and send that > SLIMEBALL Ivan Ooze back to the > SEWER he crawled out of. TOM: Actually, he came out of an egg- weren't you paying attention? > > Tommy's words sink in. He stops suddenly, sensing something. MIKE: Use the Force, Tommy. > > ANGLE ON - MORDANT hiding behind a tree, watching the Ranger's > pass. TOM: "Ranger's Pass"? Is that a new road near Angel Grove? > > There's a HORRIFIC SCREECH -- MIKE: Ah, they're at an Alanis Morrisette concert. > the kids look up as the TENGU > WARRIORS COME SWEEPING OUT OF THE SKY > > ROCKY > TAKE COVER! > > It's too late. The Tengu attack with unbelievable ferocity > They SLASH with their claws, STAB with their beaks and BATTER > with their wings. TOM: You name it... > > KIMBERLY > THEY'RE T00 STRONG?? MIKE: Why are you asking us? > > ADAM > WE NEED OUR POWERS!! CROW: Oh, "We need our powers"... Does the widdle bitty baby not know how to defend himself from a bunch of overgrown CHICKENS? > > Rocky is hurtled into some bushes, Aisha is knocked against a > tree, Adam splashes down in a small creek. MIKE: Hmmm... I thought water landings were Billy's shtick. > Mordant watches > of this from the sidelines. He gets so excited that he starts > throwing punches and kicks. > > MORDANT > WHAM! KAPOW! BOOM! CROW: Great, now he's a writer for the Batman tv show! > > He accidently punches a tree. > > MORDANT > #0!@!#! MIKE: Hey! Can you say that in a Power Rangers movie? > > One of the Tengu gets Kimberly in a choke-hold, ALL: Kill 'er! Kill 'er! > > TOMMY > HANG ON, KIMBERLY. MIKE: To what? > > Tommy rushes to help her and another Tengu trips him -- CROW: THAT'S mature! > he > TUMBLES HEAD OVER HEELS DOWN A SLOPE. We hear an OTHERWORDLY > CRY as a small, hunched figure wearing a tattered robe TOM: Yoda! > SWINGS > IN ON A VINE. ALL: > > He proceeds to pull off what is nothing short of a miracle. MIKE: He makes this movie good? > > He uses the STICKS for weapons as he executes a ROUNDHOUSE > KICK, a SCISSOR-KICK TAKEDOWN, a SITTING SIDE KICK, a > ROUNDHOUSE DROP SPIN BACK KICK, a PARALLEL BLOCK FROM THE > OUTSIDE, a REVERSE HANDSWORD and so on. TOM: Wait, I thought it was "you name it"? They're switching phrases on us in the middle of the script! > > The creature punctuates the hits with an exotic variation of > BRUCE LEE NOISES. CROW: Ah, so the creature speaks Chinese! > > MORDANT > What's the matter with you > woodpeckers! Take this guy out! MIKE: ...Buy him a nice dinner, maybe go see a play... > > The Tengu SQUAWK and SQUEAL as the little dynamo WAILS ON > THEM. CROW: ORGY! ORGY! MIKE: CROW! > > MORDANT > The Tengu Warriors my butt! MIKE: What are "Two things no one wants to see"? CROW: What are, "Two things that smell bad"! > The > Tengu TURKEYS is more like it! MIKE: Well, the term "turkeys" certainly fits into THIS movie... > > Finally the Tengu retreat, WINGING UP THROUGH THE TREES. CROW: As opposed to winging up through the dirt. > > MORDANT > Hey, aren't you bird-brains > forgetting something?! > > One of the Tengu SWOOPS IN AND SNATCHES Mordant up. > > MORDANT > Watch the meathooks!! > > The Rangers recover and exchange expressions of utter > disbelief MIKE: Like, OHMIGOD! > > KIMBERLY > Wow! That was amazing for such > a little dude! > > The figure speaks in a HOARSE WHISPER. TOM: I was right- it IS Yoda! > > FIGURE > You're trespassing. > (beat) CROW: ..yourselves. Here are some sticks. > Now state your business. MIKE: Are you known for you work in the theater? > > TOMMY > We're looking for the Master > Warrior. Do you know where we > can find him? TOM: Wars not make one great! > > FIGURE > The Master Warrior doesn't > entertain visitors - CROW: He's really dull, unfortunately. > > KIMBERLY > But we have to find him. Our > leader Zordon is dying. MIKE: Here's quarter, kid...] Call someone who cares. > > FIGURE > Zordon? > > Now the most amazing thing happens. The figure RISES TO FULL > HEIGHT OF SIX FEET, while simultaneously shedding it's robe. ALL: AAAAAAAAAAHH!! > > Underneath is a SCANTILY CLAD, STUNNING AMAZONIAN WOMAN. > We're talking B-U-I-L-T. TOM: It'd not Yoda- it's Xena! > Meet the Master warrior, DULCEA. MIKE: Hi! TOM: Nice to meet ya! CROW: Why don't you come up and see me some time! > > The Rangers stand there with stunned expressions. Dulcea > looks to Tommy. TOM: Oh, she really desperate if she's looking to Tommy... > > DULCEA > How did this happen?! > > Tommy just gapes. CROW: Pardon me while I go change my shorts... MIKE: CROW! > Kimberly gives him a cold glance and THUNKS > him one with her elbow. > > KIMBERLY > The lady asked you a question. > > TOMMY > Huh ... Oh, uh, we re, ah... > > Kimberly intervenes. ALL: THANK you! CROW: Geez, at least one of them has half a brain... > > KIMBERLY > He was attacked by this horrific > being -- Ivan Ooze. > > DULCEA > Ivan Ooze is free?! We are all > in mortal danger! MIKE: OH MY GOD! Run for your lives! We're DOOOOMED!!! > > She moves off - the Rangers just stand there staring at each > other. TOM: God, I want to hurt them so bad. CROW: So, these kids are supposed to be the saviors of the universe, eh? We're in DEEP trouble... > > DULCEA > Let' s go. > > The Rangers quickly follow her through the brush Aisha turns > to Kimberly, speaks under her breath. > > AISHA > Kind of bossy, isn't she? MIKE: Ya know, they had a female character say that, cuz if one of the boys had said it, it would sound sexist. And you know what? TOM: What? MIKE: It still does. > > 39A.. EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY (OLD SC 38) 39A > > CLOSE UP - OOZE CONTAINER > > There's a label with a picture of Ivan -- he's wearing make-up > to make him a little more presentable. TOM: Just like John Wayne Gacy. > > DOZENS OF KIDS Ranging in age from eight to seventeen, are > swarming Bulk and Skull, who have set up a booth with a large > banner that reads: "FREE OOZE!" ALL: Free Ooze! Free Ooze! MIKE: Attica! Attica! TOM: Kill Whitey! > > Some kids STRETCH the ooze, others MOLD it, MIKE: So, basically, it's purple Silly-Putty(tm)? > others THROW it > at each other. It's an ooze free-for-all. CROW: ORGY! ORGY!! MIKE: Crow! > > IVAN > Boys and girls, girls and boys, MIKE: Yep, I think that about covers it. > gather round and feast your eyes. TOM: That doesn't RHYME! "Boys" and eyes"? Eesh! > This ain't sludge and this ain't > guck... this is the one and only > Ivan's Ooze! Yesireebob. It's > ooey, gooey and even kind of > chewy. ALL: Ewwwww... > But best of all it's > FREE! > > Bulk and Skull run a booth. A banner screams "OOZE RULES". MIKE: 1. Do not feed OOZE after midnight. CROW: 2. Do not immerse OOZE in water. TOM: 3. Do not tease Happy Fun OOZE. > Kids crowd around. > > BULK > Here you go! No pushing! > > SKULL > There's enough for everybody! > > Fred approaches. > > FRED > So where'd this guy come from? CROW: From his mother, same as you. > > Bulk and Skull exchange apprehensive looks. > > SKULL > Uh... that's classified, top > secret, confidential, undercover > information. > > BULK > If we told you -- we'd have to > kill you. ALL Do it, do it! > > Fred looks at the container in his hand but he doesn't open > it. Skull sees a kid HURL some ooze at him. > > SKULL > INCOMING! > > Skull ducks and Bulk gets SPLATTERED in the face. Bulk glares > at Skull, wipes some goop off, FLICKS it at Skull. > > WIZARD > Come on, come all -- it's an COZE TOM: Oh, how COZY... > FREE FOR ALL! > > He smiles, revealing a glistening silver tooth. MIKE: Gee... Do you think that could be... Ivan Ooze? 'BOTS: NOOO?? > > 40 thru 42 OMITTED > > 42A EXT. DULCEA'S MOUNTAINSIDE COMPLEX 42A MIKE: Yeah, she's really complex. CROW: So don't be fooled by her s-e-x. > - DAY 42A > > An oriental garden set against a stunning hillside vista. CROW: I'm stunned. MIKE: Me, too. TOM: Eh, I've seen better. > > 43 EXT. DULCEA'S CAMP / PHAEDOS - DAY 43 > > The kids are seated on rocks by a lakeside, all of them > drinking from clay mugs. MIKE: Oh-hoo! Chug it! CROW: Finish it! TOM: Woo-hoo! > Dulcea finishes handing out bowls. > Aisha stares into hers with a grim expression. > > AISHA > Is this... food! MIKE: Yes; > > DULCEA > They're called squirbs. > > Kimberly lifts out an EEL-LIKE CREATURE, and watches it SQUIRM > between her fingers. > > KIMBERLY > Mine seems to be a little > undercooked. TOM: So... Dulcea's a Klingon, basically? > > Dulcea sprinkles hers with brown flakes. > > DULCEA > Add a few dried weevils and > you'll never know the difference. CROW: Oh, well, of COURSE... > > The other Rangers watch as Billy holds one of the squirbs over > his mouth and drops it in. He chews a few times, lets out a > BURP. MIKE: Ewww! TOM: Billy! Mind your manners, geez! > > BILLY > ... Not bad. > > TOMMY > Listen, we appreciate your > hospitality, but we really don't > have much time. MIKE: I mean, how much longer can we pass as teenagers, anyway? > > Dulcea looks to Tommy. CROW: Again, is she REALLY that desperate...? TOM: It's "looks AT"; "Dulcea looks AT Tommy". Geez! > > DULCEA > What do you know of the Great > Power? MIKE: Well, its... Ummm... Great? > > KIMBERLY > Only that we need it to defeat > Ivan Ooze. > > Dulcea's eyes move from Ranger to Ranger. CROW: I'm assuming they're still in her head at the time... > > DULCEA > It is said that to those who > possess the Power... all things > are possible. > > BILLY > Where did it originate? TOM: Well, you see, Billy; when a mommy and daddy Power love each other very much... > > DULCEA > In another time, another > dimension. ALL: "A dimension of sight; a dimension of mind..." > It was brought here > long ago by the "Nathadians", a > people who are now all but > extinct. > They built an impenetrable stone > Monolith to store the power and > keep it from their enemies. > (ominous) > For thousands of years, beings > from all over the Universe have > tried to obtain it... ALL have > perished. MIKE: So we don't stand a chance, do we? > > Dulcea's words hang heavily in the air. TOM: Then fall, crushing the whole group. > > AISHA > So how can we get to it? > > DULCEA > The only way to obtain the power > is to achieve the highest state > of being... CROW: Being a robot! TOM: Yeah!! > > TOMMY > And how do we do that? > > DULCEA > By learning the ancient art of > Ninjetti. TOM: So, are they gonna become "Ninjetti Knights?" CROW: She really IS Yoda! > It is the Genesis CROW: In the beginning... > of > what you on earth have come to > know as the Ninja. MIKE: So, they're gonna become assassins and thieves? > (beat) > It is the perfect union of mind, > body and spirit. > > ROCKY > Look, Zordon doesn't have much > longer to live. CROW: You say that like it's a bad thing... > And for all we > know, Angel Grove could already > be under attack. We don't have > TIME for this. ALL: Shut up, Rocky! > > As Rocky is talking, a flubbery looking SNOUT works it's way > over Kimberly's shoulder. She hasn't noticed it yet. MIKE: Great- she's about to be felt up by en elephant... > > DULCEA > You don't understand. MIKE: THERE'S a shock. > If you do > not have the Ninjetti, the power > will destroy you. CROW: You say that like it's a- MIKE: Ok, ok... > (beat) > To reach the Monolith we must > traverse the Neola jungle. We > will train today, and set out on > foot tomorrow. MIKE: Oh, can't we fly, instead? > > The snout works it's way underneath Kimberly's chin -- she > SCREAMS FOR ALL SHE'S WORTH. MIKE: Which, according to Tommy, is a LOT! CROW: Geez, Mike, and you say I'm bad! > > INCLUDE - A TERRIFIED SNOGGLE. MIKE: No. You can't make us! > > This is Dulcea's ant-eater like assistant. He jumps up and > down, YAMMERING and GESTICULATING. TOM: Ew! Don't do that in public, Snoggle! > > SNOGGLE > HNUGLHLU PHUNGLUMP BUGHLSMRPH > GBUJIPHN HUPHLGMPNORU!!! MIKE: MLFDKVKVPDKFKLVKCVKFLGFDKVVFD!?!? TOM: How did you do that? MIKE: It's a secret. > > DULCEA > Snoggle, you watch your language! > > Snoggle now re-fills Aisha's tea-cup. > > SNOGGLE > Slnughyu buglhugrmrph? > > AISHA > Excuse me? CROW: He said, "Do you want some more, you little slut?" > > SNOGGLE > Slnughyu buglhugrmrph? > > DULCEA > He wants to know if you'd like a > cube of sugar in your tea. > > AISHA > Ah... sure. > > We hear a PHOOT as Snoggle BLOWS A CUBE OF SUGAR OUT HIS SNOUT > AND IT SPLASHES INTO AISHA'S TEA. ALL: Ewwww, Urg, etc. MIKE: This story is getting grosser and grosser... > Aisha stares at the cube a > moment. > > AISHA > Ah... thanks. MIKE: Ah... you're welcome. > > The other Rangers watch as Billy holds one of the squibs above > his mouth and drops it in. He chews a few times, lets out a > BURP. > > BILLY > ... Not bad. TOM: Wait, didn't we just DO that scene? > > 43A EXT. ANGEL GROVE LANE - DAY (OLD SC 40) 43A > > Night has fallen on Angel Grove. We PAN ACROSS a quiet, > middle- class neighborhood, settle on a two story house. TOM: Crushing the house and all inside. > > 43B INT. LIVING ROOM / KELMAN-RESIDENCE - DAY (OLD SC 41) > > CLOSE ON - OOZE CONTAINER > > We PULL BACK to reveal it's sitting on a table. > > Mr Kelman enters, looks it over curiously. He picks it up, > opens it and sticks his finger inside. TOM: Yeah, that's it... Stick your fingers in an unknown pile of goo... CROW: When you sick your hand in a pile of goo that a moment ago was your best friend's face... > > Suddenly a CRACKLING ELECTRICAL CURRENT RUNS OVER HIS ENTIRE > BODY. His face goes blank and his eyes momentarily GLOWS > PURPLE. Now he strides purposefully out the door. TOM: Time to make the donuts... MIKE: And time for us to go. <@ 1 2 3 4 5 6> CROW: Do we HAVE to do this, Tom? I feel like a goofball! TOM: Oh, bite me, it'll be fun! CROW: OK... cluck... cluck... cluck-cluck.... MIKE: Uhhh... fellas? What's going on here? TOM: I am the Red Ranger! And he's a Tengu warrior. And they DON'T "cluck", they "squawk"! We're doing a scene from today's movie. MIKE: Right. Are, ummm... you guys going to have a cool karate fight or something? CROW: Squawk... squawk... squawk.... TOM: Ummm... CROW! You're supposed to be a feirce- albiet extremely stupid- warrior! You're NOT a chicken! CROW: Well _how_ am I supposed to be "fierce" when I'm MOLTING?!? TOM: We're supposed to be fighting, nimrod! Take a swing at me! CROW: I feel stupid, Tom... How did I let you talk me into this? TOM: I didn't "talk" you into this. It was honorable, respectable, out-and-out blackmail. Now swing at me, ya baby! MIKE: Oh, yeah... This is really exciting... CROW: Uhhhh... hiya. TOM: Crow! Oh, now it's ruined.. The whole skit!! TOM: I was just trying to bring a little joy into our dismal lives.. IS THAT SO WRONG?! MIKE: There, there, guy. It wasn't a *total* failure... I mean... Crow's outfit looks really good! CROW: Yeah... I'm kind of starting to like it! Cluck... cluck... cluck.... TOM: You're NOT a CHICKEN!!! CROW: Cluck... Cluck... MIKE: We'll be right back... CROW: <6 5 4 3 2 @> TOM: One little fight scene! Is that too much to ask? MIKE: Relax, Tom... > 43C thru 47 OMITTED CROW: More stuff that was even too bad for THIS movie... > > 48 EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - DAY 48 > > Dulcea and the Rangers are gathered around a bird-bath stand > with FLAMES leaping out of it. TOM: Must make it hard for the birds. > > DULCEA > In the language of the > Nathadians, "Nin" stands for > "man", "jetti" stands for > "animal". Ninjetti - man and > animal, together as one. MIKE: Which is illegal in most states. > (beat) > Now, put your hands inside the > flame. MIKE: Oh, I don't THINK so... > > AISHA > Yeah, right. > > DULCEA > It will not harm you. > > The kids hesitate a moment, then reluctantly put their hands > inside the flame. ALL: AAAAAAAHH! TOM: Oh, I LOVE that joke! Oh, man... But seriously, kids... > Aisha makes a horrific expression... > > AISHA > Just kidding. > > They remove their hands -- they're filled with sand. > > AISHA > Wow. Sand. TOM: Gee, she's got a lot of faith, doesn't she? > > DULCEA > Now tell me... what do you see? ALL: Sand. > > Aisha studies the sand for a moment -- it MAGICALLY TAKE ON > THE SHAPE OF A BEAR. > > AISHA (bedazzled) > I see... a bear > > DULCEA > Aisha, you are the Bear, stalwart > and bold. > > AISHA > Stylin'! TIOM: See, she says stuff like that cuz she's Black... CROW & MIKE: Ahhhhh... > > Dulcea turns to Rocky. His sand MAGICALLY TAKES ON THE SHAPE > OF AN APE. > > ROCKY > I see... an Ape. > > DULCEA > Rocky, you are the Mighty Ape. MIKE: And, ya know, it seems SO appropriate... > > We see each of them DISCOVER THEIR ANIMAL. > > BILLY > I see... a fox > > DULCEA > Close. Billy, you are the Wolf, > cunning and swift. TOM: Wait... Of all of them, BILLY gets it wrong? Even I know the difference between a wolf and a fox, and I've never been to a zoo! CROW: Maybe his contacts are dirty? > > And now Kimberly. She studies hers for a moment. It looks > like a bird. > > KIMBERLY > I think its some kind of bird. MIKE: If you were a bird; what kind of bird would you be? > > DULCEA > Kimberly, you are the Crane, > agile and sublime. MIKE: The only family that she's ever had are her 7 older brothers and a drunk-ass dad... > > Now Adam. > > ADAM > That's gotta be a frog. TOM: Ribbit. > > DULCEA > Adam, you are the Frog, quick as > lightning. > > And finally, Tommy. > > TOMMY > It's... an eagle? > > DULCEA > Look closer. MIKE: Not as my chest, Tommy, at the SAND... > > TOMMY > ... A falcon? > > DULCEA > Tommy, you are the Falcon, Winged > Lord of the Sky. TOM: Tommy Oliver, Lord of the Dance! > > Kimberly regards Dulcea with true admiration. CROW: Wow; you're like, cool, and some junk! > > KIMBERLY > > How do you know so much about the > Ninjetti? > > Dulcea stands tall and proud. CROW: Va-va-voom!!! > > DULCEA > I... am the sole living > descendant of the "Nathadians". ALL: Ahhhhh... > (beat) > Now prepare yourselves for the > most intense physical and mental > training known to man and animal. MIKE: Working for Haim Saban! 'BOTS: NOOOOOOOO!!! > > 48A INT. KELMAN HOUSE / LIVING ROOM - DAY (OLD SC 44) > > Fred enters the living room and searches for his Dad. > > FRED > Dad... ??! > > He heaves a frustrated sigh. TOM: I wonder how heavy a frustrated sigh is? > > > 48B INT. KELMAN HOUSE / MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (OLD SC 45) > > Fred enters the empty master bedroom, a look of concern coming > over him. > > FRED > DAD?! MIKE: You dad's gone, kid- he never loved you. > > 48C EXT. KELMAN HOUSE - DAY (OLD SC 46) 48C > > Fred comes outside as several KIDS approach, all of them > looking forlorn. > > KID #1 > You seen my parents? > > FRED > I can't find my dad either. > > KID #2 > What's going on?! CROW: Oh, the only reason they're upset about their parents is that now they won't have anyone to cook dinner for them! > > Suddenly a WILD KID wearing grunge clothes runs by HOWLING > LIKE A BANSHEE. He's holding a container of ooze in one hand > and a baseball bat in the other. He SMASHES a couple of > trash cans with his bat. > > WILD KID > Ooze, ooze, ooze rules!! > > The kid BASHES IN a mailbox then runs off. Fred looks > startled. > > FRED > That guy was the student body > President MIKE: Hell, in some schools, that wouldn't be surprising behavior for the principal! > > 49 thru 50 OMITTED > > 51 EXT. DULGEA'S GARDEN - DAY 51 > > Kimberly and Snoggle observe as Dulcea walks ON HER HANDS TOM: Causing her skirt to rise up so all the kids can see her- MIKE: THAT'S enough, Tom... TOM: I was gonna say "bloomers"! MIKE: Suuure... > across a narrow bamboo log that spans a pond. A waterfall > churns in the b.g. CROW: Diarrhea is like a storm churning inside you... > > DULCEA > The crane maintains it's agility > through the perfect harmony of > mind, body and spirit. MIKE: And dropping a little acid doesn't hurt, either. CROW: Woo-hoo! > > She leaps into the air, does a ROUND-HOUSE KICK, lands > perfectly on the narrow span. TOM: So, she's a cross between Jackie Chan and Mary Lou Retton? > > KIMBERLY > Awesome! > > Dulcea reaches the end of the log, flips through the air lands > flawlessly on the ground. > > Kimberly heaves a sigh, climbs onto the bamboo and start > walking across, balancing precariously on her hands. > > She gets about a quarter of the way, loses her balance, and > falls into the shallow pond. MIKE: 8.5 TOM: 8.0 CROW: 10.00 MIKE: Huh? CROW: I'm a sucker for brunettes. > > Snoggle laughs, making a loud HONKING SOUND. Kimberly > recovers, shoots him a look. CROW: Bite me, you little creep! > > KIMBERLY > Let's see you do it . > > SNOGGLE (indignant) > Ghun Phnug Gnouphl. > > He marches to the pole, Dulcea holds him back. TOM: Hold me back, little pink person! MIKE: Tom, most people are NOT gonna get that TOM: Yeah, but those who do are gonna really appreciate it. > > DULCEA > Snoggle, we don't have time for > you to show off MIKE: ...your stamp collection. > > 52 thru 53 OMITTED > > 53A EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - DAY 53A > > Dulcea and Rocky are standing at the bottom of a twenty foot > pole with an exotic oriental carving CROW: Should I point out the sexual imagery in this scene? MIKE: No, CROW: Ok, I won't, then. > > DULCEA > The ape is strong, but more > importantly it is flexible and > free. CROW: How about now? MIKE: Nope. CROW: Ok. > > Dulcea now SCRAMBLES UP THE POLE WITH THE NIMBLENESS OF A > SPIDER. In less than ten seconds she reaches the top. Rocky > shakes his head in disbelief. > > ROCKY > Who is this lady? TOM: Dulcea, last descendent of the Nathadians. Duh. > > Now she SLIDES DOWN like a firewoman, CROW: How 'bout now, Mike? MIKE: Sorry, no. > drops beside Rocky. He > takes hold of the pole, focuses for a moment. > > ROCKY > Here goes! MIKE: Now, Crow. CROW: Well. NOW I can't think of anything! MIKE: Oh. Sorry. > > It starts SCURRYING UPWARD. MIKE: "It"? TOM: Well, again, that DOES seem an appropriate description for Rocky. > He gets about fifteen feet in the > air, loses his grip, PLUMMETS AND SLAMS TO THE GROUND. MIKE: But he lands on his head, so he's fine. > > 54A EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - DAY (OLD SC 53) 54A > > Dulcea and Billy circle one another, fighting with spinning > WHISTLING sticks. > > Dulcea is blindfolded, Billy isn't. CROW: Wow, I didn't know Billy was into bondage. MIKE: Dulcea, on the other hand... CROW: Well, yeah, but shouldn't HE be the one blindfolded? MIKE: Good point. > > DULCEA > The wolf relies on it's enhanced > senses to guide it... He can > hear what we cannot hear, he can > smell what we cannot smell. MIKE: Feel what we cannot feel. TOM: Taste what we cannot taste CROW: Lick what we cannot lick. > > Billy takes SWING after SWING -- Dulcea easily DEFLECTS every > blow. MIKE: C'mon, wussy boy! What's 'a matter sissy? Can't beat a girl, ya pansy? > > Now Dulcea takes numerous SWINGS, THWACKING Billy repeatedly > and finally KNOCKING him INTO THE WATER. TOM: And once again, Billy ends up... ALL: In the water... > > 54B EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - DAY 54B > > Dulcea, Adam and Snoggle stand in an area filled with FLYING > INSECTS. MIKE: Damn mosquitos! > > DULCEA > The frog remains still and silent > while it assesses its target... > then strikes out in the blink of > an eye. > > We hear a TRILLING SOUND TOM: Who's trilling out here? Stop that trilling! > as Dulcea watches some kind of insect > dart around her. > > THWAP! The TRILLING SOUND is gone. Dulcea has literally > caught the insect in the blink of an eye. Adam shakes his > head in disbelief. MIKE: Oh, what, she doesn't EAT it? TOM: Really... I mean, knowing _this_ movie... > > He waits a moment, hears a TAT-TAT-TAT sound CROW: And is ripped apart by machine gun fire. > and watches a > insect zip around him. He lashes out numerous times, > missing the insect completely. MIKE: You such an idiot, Daniel-san. TOM: He needs some chopsticks. > > THWUMP! With lightning speed Snoggle VACUUMS the fly into his > snout. CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH. > > Adam speaks under his breath. > > ADAM > Show off. MIKE: Oh, you're just upset that you didn't get to eat the bug, Adam. > > 54C EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - DAY (OLD SC 52) 54C > > Aisha watches as Dulcea goes into a bear stance. CROW: So, she gets on all fours? MIKE: Ohhh... I don't know... > > DULCEA > The bear is sturdy as a towering > tree. Nothing can uproot it. CROW: Cuz bears don't have roots, see... > > Snoggle CHARGES Dulcea, SLAMS INTO HER. She remains as rooted > as a tree. Snoggle meanwhile suffers some serious bodily > damage. ALL: WOO-HOO!!! > > AISHA > Girl, you've got to be kidding > me. TOM: Oh, yeah, like THIS lady has a sense of humor... > > Snoggle recovers and faces Aisha. Aisha shrugs, goes into a > bear stance. Snoggle charges, SLAMS INTO HER and sends HER > FLYING! ALL: Up, up and awaaaaaay, in my beautiful balloon... > > 54D thru 54E OMITTED > > 54F EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - DAY 54F > > Dulcea and Tommy are standing on a towering rock rising out of > a dark lake. > > DULCEA > The falcon never struggles with > the air, but rather becomes one > with it. > > Now Dulcea does the impossible. She LEAPS OFF THE ROCK, SOARS > FIFTY FEET through the air, AND LANDS on another protruding > rock. Tommy is stunned. MIKE: Not that that takes much... TOM: Yeah, long division makes him comatose. > > DULCEA (calling out) > JOIN WITH THE FORCES OF NATURE! CROW: Well, I did that once, but my parents caught me and sent me to a psychiatrist... > > Tommy psyches himself up. > > TOMMY > You can do this. You can do > this. You can do this... ALL: > > He spreads his arms out, LEAPS... and DROPS LIKE A ROCK > exploding into THE BLACK WATER. CROW: Joining Billy, who's decided to stay in the water; since he's gonna end up there anyway... > > 54G INT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT (OLD SC 54E) 54G > > Alpha fusses over Zordon, who is looking a good ten years > older. MIKE: Get that guy some Retin-A! > > ZORDON > ... Alpha, I am deeply concerned > about the Rangers... MIKE: We all are, dear. > > ALPHA 5 > I told them it was too dangerous, > but they wouldn't listen. TOM: Do they ever? > > ZORDON > ... We must try to communicate > with them. > > Alpha looks out over the decimated Command Center. > > ALPHA 5 > Perhaps if I could locate a > vertical-deflector then I could > assemble a holographic-comlink. MIKE: Oh, well, if THAT'S all you have to do... > > Zordon shudders in pain, closes his eyes. Alpha watches over > his mentor, shakes his head in anguish. > > ALPHA > Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi . ALL: AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! > > > 55 OMITTED MIKE: I can't write- ALL: Fifty-fiiiiiive! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 55A EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - NIGHT 55A > > Dulcea leads the kids MIKE: ...in a rousing version of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"! 'BOTS: Woo-hoo! > through a circular opening in one > wall, all of them look completely wiped out. She reaches an > ornate doorway, faces the Rangers. MIKE: AH! Why are you kids still following me?! > > DULCEA > Each of you must reach deep > within ALL: Ewwww... > and draw upon your natural > instincts... Only then will you > know the way of the Ninjetti. > (beat) > Rest for a few hours. We will > continue at daybreak. > > She heads through the door. > > KIMBERLY > So where are we supposed to > sleep? MIKE: With Tommy, as usual. > > Snoggle points to the campfire. > > SNOGGLE > Buhph nghujr. > > He pushes Kimberly toward it making a "Na na na na na" TOM: Yes, you must get the giant "Nyah-nyah" of power... MIKE: Watch _Tiny_Toons_ much, Tom? > sound > through his snout. He then hurries inside and SLAMS the door. > > KIMBERLY > That guy's cruisin' for a > bruisin'. TOM: I'll hold him down! MIKE: I'll hold Dulcea! MIKE: Ya know.. to keep her from interfering... TOM: Of course... > > The kids approach the dying fire, all of them limping a > little. > > BILLY > I can hardly walk... CROW: You've been busy with Adam, eh? > > AISHA > I've never been this sore in my > life. MIKE: Look like SHE'S been busy with Adam, too! > > They drop around the fire, a few of them GROANING. They stare > into the orange coals for a long moment, all of them looking > disillusioned. > > BILLY > Do you guys really think we can > pull this off? TOM: Nope. MIKE: Not a chance. CROW: You're dead. > > It takes a moment to get a response. > > ADAM > Maybe if we had more time. > > TOMMY > ... I wonder... We've been > relying on our Morphin Powers for > so long... maybe we've forgotten > how to rely on ourselves. TOM: Oh, that's _so_ deep... > > There's a somber silence. > > TOMMY > We should get some rest. > > They all settle in for the night. MIKE: Hey, watch your hand! TOM: Ow, you're on my hair! > > 55B EXT. INNER CITY CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT (OLD SC 47) > > A PURPLE HAZE CROW: All through my brain! > OF SMOKE has settled on the construction site. > Suddenly, mysteriously, SWARMS OF ZOMBIFIED PARENTS MIKE: In your he-eeeead, in your he-e-eead, Zooombie, Zooombie, Zombie-ie-ie! 'BOTS: AH! TOM: MIKE! Don't DO that! > emerge from > the vapors - We see Mr. Kelman amongst them. > > Ivan steps forward, followed by Goldar. MIKE: Dumb and dumber! > > IVAN > Ladies and gentlemen, Simon > says... STOP! > > All the parents stop. TOM: Red light! MIKE: Green light! > > IVAN > Simon says... stand on one foot! > > All the parents stand on one foot. Ivan seems to be taking a > perverse glee in all this. > > IVAN > Simon says... TOM: ...make Saban lots of money! > > GOLDAR > Quack like a'duck! > > All the parents start QUACKING LIKE DUCKS. Ivan slowly turns > to Goldar, gives him an icy stare. > > GOLDAR > It just slipped out. MIKE: So, it was ok to have them stand on one leg, but NOT ok to make them quack like ducks? > > Ivan turns back to the QUACKING parents. > > IVAN > SHUT UP!! > > The parents keep quacking. > > GOLDAR > You didn't say "Simon says". > > IVAN (irritated) > Simon says SHUT UP!!! TOM: I wish someone would say that to the movie! > > (they shut up) > Now, as soon as I give the word > I want all of you to start > digging. > (beat) > Do I make myself perfectly -- > > The zombie parents have already started going to work. MIKE: Wait, I thought you had to say "Simon Says"! What gives? TOM: You can't change the rules in the middle of the game! CROW: Do-over! I call a do-over! > Ivan > shakes his head in exasperation. > > IVAN > This is the Iast time I use > parents for anything! MIKE: Take it from Ivan, parents just don't understand. > > 55C EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - NIGHT 55C > > The Rangers are fast asleep. A night wind WHISTLES through > the trees, ALL: > causing the branches to shiver. TOM: The _branches_ are shivering? It MUST be COLD! > > After a moment, there's movement in the bushes. MIKE: Kim! Tommy! Knock it off! CROW: You too, Billy and Adam! > Suddenly, > amazingly, a WOLF emerges -- his mane glistening in the > moonlight, his eyes GLOWING LIKE FIRE. > > He surveys the sleeping clan, moves straight toward Billy. He > stands inches away from him, watches him with an intense gaze. > Billy stirs slightly. CROW Oh, Adam.. No, we can't... The others'll see us... > > The embers cast an orange glow on Kimberly's sleeping face > A SHADOW moves over her and two CRANE LEGS step into frame. > > There's a FLURRY OF FLAPPING WINGS as a FALCON SWOOPS DOWN and > lands on a rock directly above Tommy. The bird fixes on Tommy > with its piercing eyes. MIKE: And proceeds to peck at his liver. TOM: Ewwwwwww... > > We hear a GRUNTING SOUND CROW: Tommy and Kim are at it AGAIN? > as the SILHOUETTE OF AN APE APPEARS: > > Now a FROG HOPS through the air and lands inches away from > Adam. The frog sits there a moment, it's THROAT THROBBING MIKE: For a kids' movie, this sure has a lot of sexual imagery! > > Now we hear a DEEP GROWL and a tree SHAKES. Aisha fidgets in > her sleep as an ENORMOUS BEAR SHADOW FALLS OVER HER. > > Now, all at once, the six animals VANISH INTO THIN AIR LIKE > SPIRITS OF THE NIGHT. MIKE: Which is fitting, see as how they ARE spirits... > > 55D EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT (PART OLD SC 55B) 55D > > Ivan and Goldar patrol the parents who are busy digging. > > IVAN > Let's pick it up here! I've got > a schedule to keep. In twenty > four hours the ooze is gonna hit > the fan! ALL: EWWWWWW... > > Goldar suddenly point to the sky. CROW: De plane! De plane! > > GOLDAR > Hey, boss! > > THE TENGU DROPS INTO THE SCENE, SQUEALING TOM: Ah'm gonna make you squeal like a pig! > > MORDANT > What kind of landing was that?! > These clowns are a menace to the > sky Tom: Will there still be a clown in the sky for... me? > > IVAN > How did you fare? > > Mordant waves Ivan off. > > MORDANT > Oh, it couldn't've gone better. MIKE: Well, actually, it could've... > The Power Rangers didn't know > what hit them . > > The Tengu appear, one of them SQUAWKS and makes grand > gestures. > > MORDANT > That's right. And then we threw > one of them off a mountain and > another one into a raqing river! > > IVAN > So they've been destroyed? > > The Tengu SQUAWKS some more. > > MORDANT > "Basically". TOM: Suddenly, out of the blue, they start using quotes? > > IVAN > What do you mean "basically"? > > MORDANT > Well... we were about to finish > them off... when this huge > monster came out of nowhere! MIKE: It was cool! Just like that scene in _Star_Wars_! > > MORDANT > Okay, maybe he wasn't so huge. > But you should've seen the size > of his STICKS CROW: OOOhhhhhh... TOM: Sometimes a stick is just a stick. > > A pensive look comes over Ivan... > > IVAN > Did these sticks make a whistling > sound? ALL: > > MORDANT > How'd you know? > > IVAN > Dulcea! MIKE: I just met a girl named Dulcea... > (beat) > That miserable, manipulating > loathsome she-devil of a WITCH!! > > To help make the point Mordant SPITS on the ground. > > IVAN > How could you let them get away?! > If Dulcea leads them to the Great > Power, everything will be ruined! > They must be OBLITERATED! > > One of the Tengu SCREECHES again. > > MORDANT > What're you talking about?! It > wasn't my fault! You're the > featherbrains that let them get > away! > > Ivan looks up to the sky. CROW: De pla- MIKE: Stop. > > IVAN > I call upon the Powers of > Darkness to enrich the evil of my > creatures by tenfold! > > LIGHTNING RIPS from the sky and ZAPS THE TENGU, CAUSING THEM > TO GLOW RADIANTLY. MIKE: As opposed to radiate glowingly. > > IVAN > And now the coup de grace, to > lead my tribe to victorious > battle! > > He shoots a BOLT OF ENERGY AND CREATES THE OUEEN TENGU! She > is a different color than the rest and her eyes GLOW RED. > Mordant shakes his head in wonder. > > MORDANT > Where does he come up with this > stuff? MIKE: Where does he get those wonderful toys?! > > The Queen spreads her wings and makes the most HORRENDOUS > SCREECH imaginable. MIKE: Ladies and gentlemen- Mariah Carrey! > > IVAN > Queen Tengu, lead-your warriors > to Phaedos, FEAST YOURSELVES UPON > THE POWER RANGERS AND BRING ME > DULCEA! MIKE: How 'bout we feast upon Dulcea and bring you the Power Rangers? > > Once again, the Tengu take to the sky like GIANT BATS. > > 55E EXT. LONG SHOT OF DULCEA'S COMPOUND - SUNRISE (MATTE) > > The morning sun bathes Dulcea's compound in a shimmering > golden light. MIKE: Which was radiantly glowing. > > 55F EXT. DULCEA'S COMPOUND - SUNRISE (OLD SC 55D) 55F > > CLOSE ON KIMBERLY CROW: Is SHE bathing, too? > > Snoggle's snout works it's way toward her making SNORTING > SOUNDS. MIKE: Hey! Watch that snout- this is a kids' movie! TOM: No, Tommy... Stop; I'm not in the mood this morning... > > Kimberly bolts awake and SLAMS his snout with her fist. She > YELPS LIKE A CHILD as he grips the protrusion and JUMPS > UP AND DOWN. ALL: YAAAAY!! > > SNOGGLE > BUGHU PHUNGL MURHPUGNU!!! > > All the Rangers spring awake. As they get out from under > their blankets they're shocked to discover that they're all > wearing Ninjetti costumes with animal symbols on their chest. MIKE: So, Dulcea snuck out and changed their clothes in the middle of the night? CROW: This lady needs a hobby! TOM: Sounds like she already has one. CROW: Good point. > > TOMMY > How the heck?!... > > ROCKY > What's going on?! > > KIMBERLY > I don't believe it! > > Dulcea approaches, a wondrous expression on her face. CROW: Bitchin' threads, dudes! > > DULCEA > You have been visited by the > animal spirits... MIKE: IfyaknowwhatImean! > they have given > you their blessing. > > The Rangers continue to admire their symbols in silent wonder. TOM: I'm a frog... > > 55G EXT. DULCEA'S GARDEN / PHAEDOS - MORNING (OLD SC 55E) > > MONTAGE > > HARD DRIVING MUSIC KICKS IN. ALL: Sunshine and lollipops! > > 1. We see Aisha standing on a rock, her whole body flowing CROW: What is she, liquid metal? > in > a martial art exercise. > > 2. Billy and Dulcea continue to fight with whistling sticks. > Billy is starting to get the hang of it. He hits Dulcea > a few times, then she CLOBBERS him. MIKE: Haha, he got beaten by a girl! ALL: > > 3. Kimberly balances along the bamboo log again. She does a > FLIP and lands it, however one foot slips off and she > struggles to maintain her balance. TOM: Oh, a slight wobble there; that's gonna be half point deduction... > > 4. Tommy stands on the protruding rock again, spreads ALL: AHH! > high > like a falcon, SOARS THROUGH THE AIR. He gets about ten > feet then DROPS INTO THE WATER. TOM: Stop stealing my schtick! > > 5. Rocky climbs up the oriental pole -- this time he makes it > up about FIFTEEN FEET before he slips. He only drops five > feet. MIKE: But since he's an octopus, he has three to spare. > > 6. Adam stands amidst overhanging trees and goes into his > frog animal stance, ALL: MIKE: So, he's on all fours in the water? > his entire being focused on his > actions. > > 7. Billy stands off alone MIKE: Lone wolf! Get it?! > practicing with the whistling > sticks. The weapons are now a BLURR in his hands. > > 8. Kimberly balances along the log, executes a FLIP, lands it > perfectly, throws her arms up triumphantly. MIKE: Eat my dust, Kerri Strug! > > 9. Adam stands on the lakeshore, concentrating on a buzzing > insect. He strikes out at it, but just misses it. TOM: Eh, it probably wouldn't have made much of meal anyway. > > 10. Aisha also does something appropriate. MIKE: Oh, THAT'S specific. > > 55H EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY (OLD SC 55F) 55H > > HUNDREDS OF KIDS AND TEENAGERS fill the park, all of them > wearing PURPLE CLOTHES. They're all dirty and grunged out CROW: I guess they're headed to Seattle. > They jump around, breaking stuff, sparring with each other > It's total pandemonium. ALL: WOO-HOO!! > > Suddenly, an ERUPTION OF SMOKE -- and Ivan, disguised as the > wizard, MAGICALLY APPEARS. The crowd CHEERS, Nuremburg style, > fists raised. MIKE: Are you ready to be merry? 'BOTS: YEEAAHH!! > > CROWD > OOZE! OOZE! OOZE! OOZE! > > IVAN > Thank you! Please! You're too > kind. > (sotto voce) > Finally. a little appreciation > where it's deserved. > > VOICE > We love you Ivan! MIKE: Oh, now that's going a BIT too far, don't you think? > > IVAN > Right back at ya!- > (he smiles) > Now, WHO MISSES SCHOOL?! MIKE; Oh, oh, oh! TOM: You would, Nelson... > > CROWD > NOT US! > > IVAN > AND WHO MISSES RULES?! CROW: I... kinda do, actually... > > CROWD > NOT US! > > IVAN > AND WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME IN > RAISING HELL ACROSS THE > UNIVERSE?! CROW: Can we skip the raising hell and just get straight to the orgy? MIKE: CROW! > > CROWD > > WE DO! > > At the edge, Fred discreetly approaches Bulk and Skull. > > FRED > Can I have a word with you guys? TOM: Say the secret woid and collect 500 hundred dollars. > (he pulls them aside) > What's really going on here?! > Where are everybody's parents? > > Bulk and Skull exchange a look. MIKE: Bulk! TOM: Skull! > > SKULL > Like we said before, that's > classified, top secret... > > Fred decides to be tricky. TOM: Oh, like you have to be tricky to outwit these two morons... > > FRED > Look, Ivan wants me to go dump a > load of garbage all over them. > > BULK > Well, why didn't you say so?! MIKE: You didn't ask. > > SKULL > They're at the World Center > Construction Site. MIKE: Oh, Great, Skull, you sang like a bird! > > Fred nods. > > FRED > Uh. OOZE RULES! > > He does a ridiculous mock salute. Bulk and Skull repeat it. > > BULK AND SKULL > OOZE RULES ! > > Fred rolls his eyes and hurries away. MIKE: Dorks. > > 56 thru 57A OMITTED > > 58 EXT. JUNGLE / PHAEDOS - MORNING 58 > > Dulcea leads Snoggle and the Rangers up a stone path. They > approach a bush filled with exotic berries. All of them start > eating the berries. MIKE: But the berries turn out to be poisonous, so they all die. > > TOMMY > Dulcea... how do you and Zordon > know each other? MIKE: Oh, I don't think you're quite old enough for that, kids... > > > Dulcea reminisces. TOM: Oh, God... CROW: Wake me up when something interesting happens. TOM: So, you mean, when the movie's over? CROW: Yep. > > DULCEA > We belonged to an interstellar > Peace Keeping Force known as the > "Order of the Meledan". MIKE: The Order was ham on rye. > (beat) > Zordon was widely regarded as the > finest Commander in the Galaxy. > He was a true Legend... If it > wasn't for him, the Universe > would be a very different place > from what it is today. MIKE: You say that as if it's a bad thing... > > The kids are overwhelmed by what they're hearing. > > ROCKY > So... what happened? > > DULCEA > Over time our enemies were > defeated... I returned to > Phaedos, Zordon moved on to > continue the struggle elsewhere. TOM: Washington, D.C. > (beat) > Until you kids showed up, I > hadn't heard from him for > centuries. MIKE: He never writes! He never calls! That heartless BASTARD! > > The Rangers are silent for a moment. > > DULCEA > He was always an inspiration... CROW: If you KNOW that I mean! > > Dulcea speaks with grim-visaged intensity. > > DULCEA > This is why I'm taking you to the > Nathadian Monolith. That is why > I'm teaching you the Ninjetti. CROW: I thought she was doing that to have an excuse to beat up on them. TOM: Well, that, too. > (beat) > If Zordon dies... then a piece of > all of us dies... and the force > of good within the Universe will > be dealt an irreparable blow. > > These words strike deep in the kids. MIKE: Injuring them all severely. <6 5 4 3 2 @> > > 59 EXT. INNER CITY CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY 59 > > The bulldozers and earth movers have dug out a twenty foot > pit. IVAN leads Goldar and Mordant through the site, passing > dozens of laboring parents. All: > > MORDANT > As soon as we've taken over the > world I'm gonna change my name to > Sir Mordant. Or how about MAJOR > Mordant?! > > GOLDAR > How about Major Moron? TOM: That works, too. > > IVAN > How about the two of you shut Up > and pay attention!! MIKE: Huh? I wasn't paying attention. > > The entourage comes to a stop, Goldar and Mordant can't > believe what's before them. CROW: Oh, my God, congress! MIKE & TOM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! > > MORDANT > What is THAT! TOM: That: pronoun. A person, thing, or idea indicated, mentioned, or understood from the situation. > > INCLUDE - A HUGE MECHANICAL ARM AND LEG EXTRUDING FROM THE > DIRT. > > IVAN > Feast your eyes upon the > exoskeleton of the barbaric > HORNITOR! MIKE: Huh-huh... He said "horni"... > (to parents) > KEEP DIGGING. THE DREADFUL > SCORPITRON SHOULD BE CLOSE BY. > (beat) > ONCE I HAVE MY ECTO-MORPHICON > MACHINES UP AND RUNNING, I SHALL > ANNIHILATE ANGEL GROVE... AND > THEN... THE WORLD MIKE: Well, that's great, but could you stop shouting? We're standing right next to you... > > ANGLE ON FRED as he darts through the construction site, > taking care not to be seen. He hunkers down behind a stack of > two-by-fours, searches the area. He spots his dad, speaks > under his breath. MIKE: Dogs barking, can't fly without umbrella... > > FRED > Dad...?! > > He glances around to make sure the coast is clear, then > sprints off to where his dad is digging, grabs his hand. > > FRED > We have to get out of here! > > MR. KELMAN > Dig... dig... dig... > > FRED > Dad?!... It's me, Fred! CROW: Forget it, kid... Your dad's got the brain of a cabbage right now. > > Mr. Kelman just gives Fred a blank stare. MIKE: ...as usual. > > MR. KELMAN > Dig... dig... dig... > > Suddenly an ARM FALLS ON FRED'S SHOULDER. MIKE: The one attached to the rogue hand from earlier, I guess. > > MORDANT (O.S.) > Gotchya! > > Fred whips araund, finds Mordant standing behind him. He > SPRINGS TO ACTION pulling off a lightning quick IRON HAMMER > FIST STRIKE, a PALM HEEL BLOCK, A FRONT KICK WITH JUMPING > KICK. ALL: You name it... > > Mordant is getting pummeled. The last kick sends him FLYING > BACK INTO THE DIRT. Fred takes off as Goldar stands over > Mordant. TOM: AH! I don't even wanna THINK about the implications of THAT one! > > MORDANT > Just shut your gap! > > GOLDAR > Did I say anything? CROW: No, but it's fun to tell you to shut up, anyway. > > 60 OMITTED 60 > > 61 INT. COMMAND CENTER - DAY 61 > > Zordon is looking more decrepit than ever. Alpha inserts ALL: AH! Mike: Do NOT use "Alpha" and "inserts" in the same sentence! > tube into a make-shift electronic contraption. > > ALPHA 5 > By bouncing ultra-high > frequencies off one of the > network satellites, I can send a > long-range pulsar signal to > within TWO FEET of the Rangers coordinates. > > ZORDON > (with difficulty) > ... I just pray we're not too > late. MIKE: You are. > > Alpha continues making adjustments. > > ALPHA 5 > Let's give it a whirl. > > He flicks a switch and the screen LIGHTS UP WITH STATIC. The > the same reporter we saw at the opening of the movie appears. TOM: Oh, continuity! What a concept! > > REPORTER > Angel Grove Police have been > fielding hundreds of calls from > concerned citizens as the number > of missing gersons continues to > grow TOM: Yes, but what about all the people that are missing? > > There's more STATIC, then IVAN APPEARS AS THE WIZARD. MIKE: The WIZARD? TOM: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! > > IVAN > Hi, folks, Ivan Ooze here. > > ALPHA 5 > Ai, yi, yi, yi, yi > > As Ivan speaks we see Mordant behind him waving into camera. > > IVAN > Are you bored with your work? MIKE: Yes. > Are you bored with your family TOM: Sure! > Are you bored with your 1ife CROW: Harassed by creditors? > Well, come on down to Ooze City > and LET'S GET STICKY! ALL: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! > > 62 OMITTED 62 > > 63 EXT. ROCKY TERRAIN - DAY 63 > > The group reaches the crest of a ridge -- off in the > background we can see the outline of the Nathadian Monolith. Mike: Ooooohhhh.... TOM: Ahhhhhhhhhhh... CROW: ZZZZZZzzzzzzzz... > > DULCEA > The Monolith is there in the > distance. > > The kids strain to get a better look. > > DULCEA > This is as far as I can take you. TOM: Wait, didn't she say "we" would go through the jungle; thus suggesting that she was coming along? > > The kids are thrown by this. MIKE: And have to pick themselves up off the ground. > > KIMBERLY > You're leaving us?! CROW: This SUCKS, and some junk! > > DULCEA > I have taught you all that I > know. TOM: I'll bet Tommy and the boys appreciated that!! > Now you must achieve the > Ninjetti on your own. > > The kids share glances, not quite knowing what to say. MIKE: Just like always. > > DULCEA > It is said that once you've > reached the power... you have > only ten triacs to release it. MIKE: Oh, well, then- huh? > > BILLY > What's a Triac? > > DULCEA > About twenty seconds in your > time. CROW: Well why didn't you just say that in the first place?! > > TOMMY > And how do we release the power? > > DULCEA > The legend goes that you release > the power with the power. TOM: Oh, well of cou- huh? > > ADAM > What does that mean! > > DULCEA > That is a question that even I > cannot answer. > (beat) > Remember, ten triacs. After that > something bad will happen. > > KIMBERLY > Like...how bad? > > Dulcea gives them a grim look. > > DULCEA > They say the power will throw off > a super-heated, radioactive > fireball, instantly reducing you > to ash and bits of charred bone. MIKE: Bitchin'! TOM: Cool! > > Aisha nods. > > AISHA > That's pretty bad. CROW: Wah-wah-waaaaahhh... > > TOMMY > Thank you, Dulcea. For > everything. MIKE: IfyaknowwhatImean! > > Dulcea catches her hand TOM: Oh, sorry... I thought it was Dale. > and six Rangers put their hands on top > of hers. MIKE: Break! > > > DULCEA > Ka'Alabas tor nartu En'Kata-Tay. TOM: Klaatu Beratu Nikto. MIKE: Me chabba wanga! CROW: Gesundheit! > (beat) > May your animals watch over you. MIKE: Ok, time out! Dulcea said the "jetti" means animal... Now, she said animal in that sentence; yet I don't see anything in it that looks even close to "jetti". TOM: Thank you, linguistics police.... CROW: Maybe she wasn't saying the same thing in English? MIKE: Maybe... > > 64 OMITTED 64 > > 65 EXT. CHEMICAL PLANT - DAY 65 > > The sky above the chemical plant is BOILING WITH DARK CLOUDS. ALL: > > 56 INT. CHEMICAL PLANT - DAY 66 MIKE: Wh, we just went back 10 scenes! TOM: Not according to the number at the end of the line... MIKE: Weird. CROW: After all the mistakes in this script, a number typo surprises you? > > The parents have finished assembling the STEEL TOWER -- thick > cables run from the base to the skeletal heads of Hornitor and > Scorpitron. TOM: What is this, Power Rangers, or Transfomers? > > We see a group of parents fastening clear plastic pipes to the > skeletal feet -- the pipes are attached to the vat of ooze. > > Mordant videotapes Ivan as he struts past a giant mechanical > foot. CROW: Mordant likes to watch. > > IVAN > Finally, after centuries of > waiting, my Ecto-Morphicon > machines are ready to take on the > world! ALL: > > Mordant gets the camera a little too close to Ivan. > > IVAN > GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE! > > Ivan SWATS Mordant and the camera FLIES up through the air and > SMASHES against a wall. > > MORDANT > Oh, man, that was a rental! > > ANGLE ON - FRED watching from behind a generator, CROW: You'd think Ivan would have better security for his top secret project. > an alarmed > look on his face. Ivan steps up onto a platform. > > IVAN > Mordant... let the ooze flow! MIKE: I think these writers have some sort of snot/ooze obsession... TOM: I don't EVEN wanna know... > > Mordant pulls a lever and the OOZE SLITHERS THROUGH THE > PIPES AND STARTS FILLING OUT THE GIANT EXOSKELETONS. CROW: Oh, yes... Oh, YES! MIKE: CROW! > > IVAN > Goldar... the roof! > > Goldar presses a button and the roof of the plant ROLLS OPEN, > REVEALING THE TUMULTUOUS SKIES ABOVE. > > IVAN > Looks like a fine day for raising > HELL! TOM: IVAN! Watch the language! > > Ivan holds his arms up to the heavens. > > IVAN > HECALE MENNIPUS LIBRI MAGUS! MIKE: Oh God, not again.... TOM: Ya nie loobloo kino! MIKE: What the..? > > THE SKY CRACKLES WITH THUNDER AND A JAGGED BOLT OF > LIGHTNING STREAKS DOWN, ZAPS THE METAL TOWER SENDING UP > AN ENORMOUS ERUPTION OF SPARKS! > > IVAN > Bullseye! TOM: But is it bold? > > ELECTROMAGNETIC CHARGES TRAVEL THE LENGTH OF THE CABLES > AND HIT HORNITOR AND SCORPITRON WITH SEARING BLASTS OF > ENERGY. MIKE: Turning them into useless pieces of charred metal. TOM: DAMN! Read the instructions wrong! > > IVAN > LIFE!! Give my creatures LIFE! CROW: Oh, you only WISH you were Frankenstein, Ivan. > > Mordant admires Ivan. > > MORDANT > This guy is the King! MIKE: Here comes the King, here comes the King, here comes the big number one! > > Now the most amazing thing of all happens... CROW: The movie gets good? TOM: Give it up, Crow- it's not gonna happen... > > The SCINTILLATING BEHEMOTHS AWAKE FROM THE DEAD, THEIR EYES > AND MOUTHS OPENING, THEIR ARMS REACHING UPWARD. The beasts MIKE: Whooops! Cap Lock key must've slipped! > ROAR OUT IN THUNDEROUS RAGE. CROW: We're NOT gonna pay a lot for this MUFFLER!!! > > Mordant's HAIR LITERALLY STANDS ON END -- he quickly retreats > behind a drum. > > FRED looks on in horror. MIKE: I wet 'em! > > IVAN > PARENTS OF ANGEL GROVE. TOM: ...we've gathered together today to witness the joining of this- oh, wait... Damn, wrong speech... > > All of them turn their attention to Ivan. > > IVAN > YOU HAVE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE. > NOW YOU WILL RETURN TO THE > CONSTRUCTION SITE AND LEAP TO > YOUR DEMISE! ALL: Ok, but could you please stop shouting?! > > The parents just stand there with blank expressions. > > IVAN > What're you waiting for??... > > Goldar taps him on the shoulder and he spins around. > > IVAN > What! > > GOLDAR > You forgot to say 'Simon says." MIKE: Once again, I must point out that he's given the PLENTY of instructions that they HAVE followed withOUT saying "Simon says". TOM: Why let logic ruin a good joke? MIKE: Well, if I see a good joke in this movie, fine. > > Ivan shakes his head dismally. MIKE: I'm surrounded by idiots! > > 67 EXT. ROPE BRIDGE - DAY 67 > > The Rangers crest a hill and Adam, who's in the lead, suddenly > drops TOM: His pants MIKE: I REALLY gotta go! > down - the others following suit. MIKE: But Billy play's his Trump card, winning this hand. > > They peer over the ridge -- their eyes wide. CROW: So they're Japanimation all of the sudden? > > Before them, a tenuous rope bridge MIKE: Uh-oh... Rope bridge... TOM: Oh, God. > leads to a vast rock > landing. The ocean RAGES BELOW. CROW: A rope bridge over an OCEAN? That's one HELL of a rope bridge! > > On top of the island is the Nathadian Monolith. It's a mind- > boggling wonder from another time and place. Mike: Wisconin! TOM: Yeah, RGHT... > > Between the Rangers and the bridge, the Tengu Warriors are on > patrol. CROW: D'oh! > > KIMBERLY > Man, these are the last guys I > wanted to see. > > AISHA > Whadda we do now? > > Kimberly surveys the area. > > BILLY > That's the only way to the > Monolith... TOM: Of course. > > ROCKY > We can take these guys! > > Tommy pulls all of them into a huddle. CROW: 36... 24... 36... HIKE! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 68 EXT. ROPE BRIDGE - DAY 68 > > The Tengu are on full alert. One of them hears something, > snaps around, there's nothing there. > > Another Tengu looks down as a frog hops between his leg. He > SCREECHES and STOMPS down his taloned foot, missing the > creature by inches. MIKE: Hey! Don't step on poor defenseless little amphibians, you mean old- ! TOM: Mike...? MIKE: Yes? TOM: It's just a movie script, Mike... Don't get so involved. > > We hear a CAW and the Queen Tengu squints as she spots a > falcon circling in the sky above. MIKE: Which starts pooping on her. TOM: In THIS movie, it wouldn't surprise me! > The Queen is perched on top > of a 20 foot rock face. She looks around hesitantly. > > Now the Rangers ATTACK, some of them LUNGING OFF ROCKS, others > BURSTING out of crevices, others coming over the walls. ALL: You name it... > > Billy wields his WHISTLING sticks -- misses several times, > then starts BASHING and THWACKING the feathered beasts. > > The Queen SHOOTS A LASER BLAST MIKE: Whoah! TOM: Hey, no fair! CROW: Typical Tengu... Bring laser-shooting eyes to a Ninjetti fight! > from her eyes -- it EXPLODES > before Tommy. > > Kimberly battles another Tengu and the creature forces her > back on to the rickety bridge. MIKE: Rope bridge, guys... CROW: It's gonna break at any minute... > > The Queen FIRES ANOTHER BLAST. > > ROCKY > LOOK OUT! MIKE: Brilliant, Rocky! TOM: Napoleon really coulda used this guy in Russia. > > Rocky DIVES, knocking Aisha away from the bolt. > > Adam and one of the Tengu circle each other warily. > > ADAM > The frog silently assesses its > target, then strikes out... CROW: Oh, THAT'S smart, Adam- say it out loud so he knows what you're gonna do... > > Suddenly the Tengu is HURTLED BACKWARD TEN FEET THROUGH THE > AIR. We didn't even see Adam move. MIKE: He's telekinetic! TOM: COOL! > > ADAM > ... in the blink of an eye. CROW: ...or less, or you're pizza's free! > > Tommy steps up behind a Tengu. > > TOMMY > Yo, Tweety! > > The Tengu turns around and Tommy WHALLOPS HIM WITH A SPINNING- > HEEL KICK. A Tengu faces down Aisha and she goes into a bear > stance. > > AISHA > The bear is sturdy as a towering > tree. Nothing can uproot it. > > The Tengu CHARGES LIKE A BULL, SLAMS INTO AISHA. She holds > fast and the bird EXPLODES INTO A CLOUD OF FEATHERS. MIKE: Whoah! TOM: JUST feathers? That's all they're made of? MIKE: Apparently. > > AISHA > Bye, bye birdy. > > Kimberly continues balancing precariously on the bridge as she > EXCHANGES BLOWS with her foe. > > She finally drops into a crane stance... then just like Dulcea > she LEAPS THROUGH THE AIR, EXECUTES A BRUTAL SPINNING HELL > KICK and sends the birdman TUMBLING OFF THE BRIDGE. MIKE: He can't recover and fly to safety? > > In a movement that seems to defy gravity, she lands perfcctly > back on the swinging bridge. > > KIMBERLY > Hasta la Pasta, Bigbird! TOM: Hey! That's Billy's line! Well, Billy's clone's line, but still... > > Billy swings his sticks, BASHES one of the Tengu in the beak > -- the creature EXPLODES INTO A CLOUD OF FEATHERS! > > BILLY > AIM FOR THEIR BEAKS! TOM: Gee, they seemed to be doing fine with their previous strategies. > > Tommy reaches the top of a rack. He sees a Tengu making a > KAMIKAZE DIVE TOWARD KIMBERLY. TOMMY DIVES, SOARING THIRTY > FEET THROUGH THE AIR -- HE INTERCEPTS THE TENGU AND THEY SPIN > TOWARD EARTH TOGETHER. They HIT the ground and EXCHANGE BLOWS > AS THEY FALL OVER ONE ANOTHER. CROW: They're head over heels in love! > > Rocky SLAMS another Tengu in the beak, KABLAM MIKE: Any show with hosts named "Henry" and "June" is cool by me! > -- the creature > is OBLITERATED. > > Tommy LEAPS INTO THE AIR, NAILS two Tengu in the beaks. They > BOTH BURST IN AN EXPLOSION OF FEATHERS. CROW: So, basically, there's a lot of feathers flying around at this point? MIKE: Pretty much. > > The Queen shoots another BOLT OF ENERGY -- a rock EXPLODES, > SHOWERING THE KIDS WITH SHRAPNEL. MIKE: I've been hit! MEDIC! > Aisha turns to Rocky. TOM: Ya know, I've never "been with" a guy before... CROW: Don't worry, I have! > > AISHA > It's up to you. > > Rocky takes a deep breath, goes into a crouch position. > Incredibly he SCALES THE WALL IN THE SAME WAY HE WENT UP THE > POLE. ALL: > HE FLIPS OVER THE TOP and lands right before the Queen > Tengu. He looks her dead in the eye. > > ROCKY > Polly wanna cracker? MIKE: Oh, I'd love one, thanks! > > With that, he executes a devastating SPINNING-HEEL KICK and > the Queen BURSTS INTO OBLIVION. > > KIMBERLY > ALL RIGHT, ROCKY! > > Instantly, the remaining Tengu retreat, SQUAWKING and CAWWING > in rage. The kids turn to eaeh other, sharing in a moment of > triumph. > > ADAM > WE DID IT!! CROW: ORGY! ORGY! > > > 72 EXT. ANGEL GROVE TOWER - DAY 72 > > We're on top of a high tower overlooking the entire city > There's a BURST OF PURPLE SMOKE -- Ivan, Mordant and Goldar > appear. Ivan looks out on the city, holds up his arms > theatrically. TOM: Friends, Romans, Country men! > > IVAN > ANGEL GROVE... I'D LIKE TO > INTRODUCE YOU TO A COUPLE OF MY > NEAREST AND DEAREST FRIENDS... > HORNITOR! ALL: > > HORNITOR APPEARS on the street ROARING like a fiend. His > enormous foot DROPS DOWN AND CRUSHES A CAR INTO OBLIVION. MIKE: My lamborghini! > > IVAN > And his trimetallic partner in > crime... SCORPITRON!! > > SCORPITRON APPEARS on the street and BASHES IN THE SIDE OF A > BUILDING, SENDING GLASS AND DEBRIS EVERYWHERE. MIKE: My- ! Ummm... > > IVAN > THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!!! > > GOLDAR > GO IVAN!! MIKE: Go PACKERS! TOM: PACKERS win the Super Bowl! CROW: WOO-HOO! > > Mordant turns to Ivan and throws his arms up in jubilation. MIKE: Ewww. > > MORDANT > LONG LIVE THE BOOGER MAN! > > 73 INT. COMMAND CENTER - DAY 73 > > Zordon, now barely alive, watches as Alpha makes more > adjustments to his contraption. TOM: Will you stop playing with your contraption and DO something?! > > ALPHA 5 > That should do it. we won't be > able to hear them, but they > SHOULD be able to hear us. > (beat) > Here goes. > > There's STATIC and then we see the reporter again. > > NEWS REPORTER > ... the Mayor has declared a > state of emergency CROW: Wait, wouldn't the news crew AND the mayor be under Ivan's spell? TOM: I guess they're all childless. > and asked that > the city be immediately > evacuated. He has reiterated the > need for everyone to remain calm. > > We see images of PEOPLE SCREAMING THEIR GUTS out as they > CLAMBER PAST CAMERA. ALL: Waa-waa-waaaaaahhh... > > NEWS REPORTER > Angel Grove has never before > known such a crisis and we can > now only pray for the swift > arrival of the Power Rangers! TOM: Don't hold your breath, sweetie, they've got problems of their own! > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi, yi! > > Zordon speaks in a whisper. MIKE: Stop... saying that... Or I'll... kill you. > > ZORDON > ... Alpha, keep trying! > > 74 74 > thru OMITTED thru > 75 75 > > 75A EXT. MONOLITH - DAY 75A > > The kids climb up on top of the rock bluff -- before them is a > huge black Monolith. There's all sorts of charred bones and > skeletons strewn around it, some of them human, some of them > alien. MIKE Well, yeah, seeing as they ARE on another planet. CROW: HEY, the rope bridge never broke! TOM: Hey, yeah! MIKE: Wow... > > They approach the massive block, stand before it in awe struck > silence. In the middle of the Monolith there's a large circle > with the six animals of the Ninjetti carved into it. > > ROCKY > ... The Nathadian Monolith... MIKE: Are the "Rocky's an idiot" jokes getting old yet? TOM: Yes. MIKE: Ok. > > Kimberly looks at all the bones -- instinctively puts her hand > on her animal symbol. > > KIMBERLY > I guess these guys weren't so > lucky. > > A few of the kids walk around the Monolith, examining it more > closely. > > AISHA > We've come all this way for a > rock wall?! CROW: It was ROOOOCK WAA-AAL! MIKE: No, doesn't work... > > BILLY > There should be a way to open it. TOM: See? The guy's a genius! > > Billy &;Tommy latch their hands over the block, searching for > an opening. > > BILLY > ... Nothing. > > ROCKY > Release the power with the power. MIKE: Uh-oh... I think I smell something burning... CROW: Rocky's trying to think. MIKE Ah. TOM: I guess the "Rocky's an idiot" jokes AREN'T getting old... > > Rocky steps back, THROWS HIS SHOULDER into the Monolith with a > THUMP, winces in pain. > > AISHA > Not that kind of power. > > The kids exchange discouraged looks. > > BILLY > ... There has to be something > we're missing. MIKE: No s**t, Sherlock! > > The kids look crestfallen. > > ROCKY > It can't end like this... > > Suddenly a SIZZLE OF ELECTRICITY forms in front of them. > > KIMBERLY > What NOW! MIKE: Yes, now! > > The kids mouth's fall open as... a HOLOGRAPHIC IMAGE OF > ZORDON'S WITHERED FACE APPEARS. He speaks in a barely > audible voice. > > ZORDON > Rangers... Ivan has invaded the > city... time is running out... > > Zordon's image FLICKERS a few times then STABILIZES again. > > ZORDON > Each of you are now in possession > of miraculous skills... but only > when the six become one will you > have the strength to harness the > Great Power. MIKE: This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. > > His IMAGE FLICKERS then FADES AWAY. > > KIMBERLY > ZORDON!! > > Billy studies the circle with zealous eyes. TOM: Billy gets turned on by monoliths. > > TOMMY > Six become one... the combined > forces of the Ninjetti. > > ROCKY > Strength in numbers!! > > They silently assemble in a line, all of them interlock: > hands. They face the Monolith with fire in their eyes. MIKE: OW!... MY EYES! > > BILLY > I am the wolf, cunning and swift! > > KIMBERLY > I am the crane, agile and > sublime! > > AISHA > I am the bear, stalwart and bold! > > ADAM > I am the frog, quick as > lightning! > > ROCKY > I am the mighty ape! > > TOMMY > And I am the Falcon, Winged Lord > of the Sky! > > RANGERS > WE... ARE THE NINJETTI!!! ALL: We are the champions, we are the champions! > > A mysterious HALO OF LIGHT SHROUDS the Rangers and they > dissapear INTO THIN AIR. CROW: Woo-hoo! They're gone! MIKE: All right! > > 75B OMITTED 75B > > 75C INT. MONOLITH - DAY 75C > > The kids BURST THROUGH A WALL CROW: That's GOTTA hurt! > OF LIGHT and come down together MIKE: Right now... Over me! > inside a vast cavern. There's a pyramid shaped steel object > in the center of the room, a RADIANT LIGHT SHINING FROM IT. > > AISHA > What HAPPENED?! > > ADAM > Where are we?! > > BILLY > Of course! The power is of > another world. Another > dimension. CROW: With voyeuristic intention? > > KIMBERLY > WE'VE GOT TEN TRIACS BEFORE WE'RE > TOAST!! > > ROCKY > That's twenty seconds!! MIKE: I thought one triac was 20 seconds, so 10 triacs would be 3 minutes and 20 seconds. > > The kids advance toward the pyramid. > > TOMMY > Release the power WITH the power. > > AISHA > What does that mean?! > > Adam notices their symbols are glowing. > > BILLY > Our SYMBOLS. > > The kids ogle the radiant emblems. MIKE: Woo-hoo! TOM: Take it off! CROW: Oh, baby! > Kimberly > takes hold of hers and it COMES OFF in her hand -- there's a > mirror on the other side. TOM: She proceeds to check her make-up and hair. > > ROCKY > Ten seconds and counting!! > > KIMBERLY > It's some kind of mirror! > > Kimberly looks at her reflection and primps her hair. TOM: D'OH! > The > other's remove their symbols. > > AISHA > Release the power with the > power. > > BILLY > I've got it! We use the mirrors > to reflect the light back into > itself!! > > ROCKY > THREE SECONDS!! > > TOMMY > LET'S DO IT!? MIKE: Ummmm... Sure, why not? TOM: But why are you asking us? > > All of them turn their mirrors toward the pyramid. A BEAM OF > LIGHT SHOOT FROM THE POWER; INTO THE MIRRORS AND BACK IN > TO THE POWER. > > We hear a RUMBLING SOUND as the earth starts to SHAKE. MIKE: Did the Earth move for you, too? > The > Rangers look to each other, horrified. > > Then everything falls still and silent... and then a miracle > happens. CROW: The movie- MIKE: Stop it, Crow. > > We hear a HARMONIOUS, OTHERWORLDLY CHORUS as the pyramid OPENS > UP, REVEALING THE MOST GLORIOUS SOURCE OF LIGHT IN THE > UNIVERSE. CROW: Lite-Brite, making things with li-ight! > > The kids shield their eyes from the brilliance, all of them > wearing wonder-struck expressions. > > SIX BEAMS OF COLORED LIGHT SHOOT OUT AND HIT EACH OF THE > RANGERS... AND THEIR POWER RANGERS UNIFORMS MATERIALIZE ON > THEM! Their visors are clear so we can see their faces. MIKE: Argh. Why? > > TOMMY > WE HAVE THE GREAT POWER!! > > Now the symbols in their hands TRANSFORM INTO... > > ROCKY > NEW POWER COINS!! MIKE: Yo, ADRIAN! > > BILLY > OUR MORPHERS ARE ON LINE! > > AISHA. > WE DID IT!! > > ADAM > HANG ON, ANGEL GROVE. > > KIMBERLY > WE'RE ON OUR WAY! TOM: Thanks for the warning! > > They hit their communicators -- they instantly TRANSFORM INTO > SIX IRIDESCENT COLUMNS OF COLOR AND BLAST OFF. > > 75D EXT. MOUNTAIN SIDE / PHAEDOS - DAY 75D > > Dulcea and Snoggle watch as the COLUMNS OF COLOR streak away > from the planet, leaving behind a RAINBOW with the six colors > of the Power Rangers. MIKE: So, there are six colored lights, right? TOM: That DOES seem to be what they're implying... CROW: THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS!!! > > SNOGGLE > Spherhlegnu. > > DULCEA > Yes, Snoggle... they now have the > Great Power of the Ninjetti! MIKE: There goes the neighborhood! <@ 2 3 4 5 6> PEARL: Oh, great, the fuzz! Well, don't worry... I'll get us out of this. I can work my feminine wiles on this loser cop like I did back on Earth ... COP: License and registration please, ma'am. PEARL: Figures... Affirmative action's a bitch... BOBO: Don't worry, Lawgiver! I can tempt this fair creature... BOBO: I say, officer... You look nice... COP: Uh-huh... Can I please see your license and registration? COP: Aaaah! Ma'am, please get your pet off my leg! PEARL: BOBO, will you KNOCK it off! PEARL: Honestly, Bobo... BRAIN GUY: Oh, AMATEURS! Here. Let me handle this.... COP: License and registration, please! BRAIN GUY: You don't need to see her license and registration. COP: I don't need to see her license and registration... BRAIN GUY: This isn't the flying red VW Microbus you're looking for. COP: This isn't the flying red VW Microbus I'm looking for. BRAIN GUY: We can go about our business. COP: You can go about your business. PEARL: What...? What are you doing? BRIAN GUY: Move along. COP: Move along. PEARL: "Nice try. I'll see you in court on the seventeenth?" Brain Guy, you craphead! She was on to you! This is going to cost me $235, and I'm going to take it out of your.... BOBO: Lawgiver, please! PEARL: ... your cerebral cortex! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > > 76 EXT. GEORGE STREET - NIGHT (OLD SC 75B) 76 > > We see the mass of parents as they march intently down a dark > city street. MIKE: But, enough of that... > > 76A EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - ERNIE'S - NIGHT (OLD SC 64) > > Ernie's is packed with crazed kids and teenagers who are > ripping the place apart. TOM: I hope Ernie has insurance... > > Bulk and Skull watch while gorging themselves on pizza. > > BULK > There goes the neighborhood. > > SKULL > A real shame. > > Suddenly Fred appears and shouts out. TOM: General LeMarck is dead! > > FRED > EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! > > The place falls silent. > > FRED > You've been brainwashed! This > Ivan is no Wizard. He's some > kind of DEMON! MIKE: So, they don't have to listen to their parents, they don't have to go to school, and they don't have to work... Where's the down side of this? > > KID #4 > Shut up, squirt. > > KID #3 > You can't talk that way about our > leader. > > Enraged, they move in on Fred. > > FRED > You gotta believe me -- he's > EVIL! TOM: So? > > The crowd gets angrier. They move closer... Fred gulps CROW: Ummmm... MIKE: No. CROW: Ok. > with > fear... glancing around for help, he notices a HOSE. He > lunges for it, cranks on the water, and TURNS IT ON THE CROWD! > SPLASH! They get SPRAYED DOWN! TOM: These people are WAY to excited by their own script... > > Suddenly -- they stop in their tracks, slowly blinking, > confused. The spell is broken. We hear: "What's going on ?!" > "What am I doing here?!", etc. > > FRED > Listen to me! Our parents are in > danger! If we don't help them > they're going to be killed! TOM: And that's bad because...? > > He hurries off. A few follow him, then a few more... until > pretty soon everybody joins him. Bulk and Skull share a look. > > SKULL > > What about the pizza? > > Bulk considers the dilemma. > > BULK > We could take it with us. MIKE: Well, sure? TOM: Hey, why not? > > Skull nods, relieved. They gather up the pizza and move off > after the others. > > 77 OMITTED 77 > > 78 INT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT 78 > > The Rangers MATERIALIZE in the Command Center with their > helmets off. TOM: So they took them off mid-transit? > > AISHA > ALPHA?! > > Alpha approaches, speaks in an anguished voice. > > ALPHA 5 > Rangers... I'm afraid you're too > late. TOM: He MUST be upset- he didn't say "Ay-yi-yi"! > > AISHA > What?! > > ALPHA 5 > Zordon... he's gone. > > The Rangers are too stunned to speak. They approach Zordon's > lifeless form looking absolutely devastated. > > KIMBERLY > ... This can't be... > > They stare at Zordon with gut-wrenching expressions. They're > utterly defeated. > > Eventually, Tommy looks to the others and speaks in a fervent > voice. > > TOMMY > "To those who possess the Great > Power... all things are > possible." MIKE: This movie might actually do well! > > The kids gradually exchange zealous looks. They form a circle > around Zordon and interlock hands. > > They close their eyes, bow their heads... TOM: Our Father, who art in Heaven... > > After a long moment, a SHIMMERING ENERGY BEGINS TO FLOW DOWN > FROM THE RANGERS, INTO ZORDON'S ASTRAL FORM. > > Zordon grows BRIGHTER and BRIGHTER and then there's a > DAZZLING, STROBOSCOPIC EXPLOSION. MIKE: So... They all just blew up? CROW: Woo-hoo! Movie's over, let's go! TOM: 'Fraid not, Crow... > > When the LIGHT FADES WE SEE THE COMMAND CENTER BACK IN ITS > ORIGINAL, PRISTINE FORM. ALL: Ooooohhhhh... Aaahhhhh... > > Zordon's youthful face once again looks down from within his > pillar of light, his eyes filled with a fierce pride. > > RANGERS > ZORDON!! > > ZORDON > Welcome back, kids. MIKE: I'm now deaf. > > ADAM > It's good to be back. > > Alpha jumps up and down like a child. > > ALPHA 5 > HE'S ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE! TOM: Number 5 is alive! CROW: Ohhhhh... Thanks for reminding me, Tom... > > KIMBERLY > We thought you... MIKE: Yessss? > > ZORDON > It's good to see you again, too. > > Alpha sees the Ecto-Morphicon machines on the VIEWING GLOBE. > > ALPHA 5 > AI, YI, YI, YI, YI Ivan s Ecto- > Morphicon machines are leveling > the city! MIKE: Wow! Cool! Check out those way cool explosions! Oh, right.. > > ROCKY > We've got news for you, Ivan... MIKE: Film at 11. > > TOMMY > The Power Rangers are BACK IN > BUSINESS!! > > They TELEPORT out. > > 79 EXT. ANGEL GROVE TOWER - NIGHT 79 > > CLOSE ON IVAN as he TURNS INTO CAMERA, a startled look on his > face. > > IVAN > > I... SMELL... CROW: ...Really, really bad... > > He looks down on the street as the COLUMNS OF LIGHT SHOOT DOWN MIKE: Ah, but where they colored? > AND THE POWER RANGERS APPEAR. > > IVAN > (outraged) > POWER RANGERS! TOM: "Smells Like Power Rangers"- the new song by Nirvana! > > 80 EXT. CITY STREETS 80 > > The Rangers watch as Hornitor and Scorpitron come THUNDERING > down the street toward them. MIKE: Well, MOVE, dummies! > > KIMBERLY > What're THOSE?! > > We hear Alpha on Tommy's wrist communicator. > > ALPHA 5 (V. 0.) > Rangers, call for your new animal > Zords! > > TOMMY > Let's DO it! CROW: TOMMY! Not in front of the others! > > One after another they click their new coins into their > morphers and go into their stances. > > KIMBERLY > NINJA CRANE ZORD! > > BILLY > NINJA WOLF ZORD! > > AISHA > NINJA BEAR ZORD! > > ADAM > NINJA FROG ZORD! > > ROCKY > NINJA APE ZORD! > > TOMMY > NINJA FALCON ZORD! > > From the sky, the six new ANIMAL ZORDS BURST FORTH LIKE > THUNDERING, MECHANICAL GODS. The Rangers look up at the > TOWERING ASSAULT VEHICLES in awe. TOM: Big pretty things... > > 81 INT. COCKPITS 81 > > We see VARIOUS SHOTS of the Rangers DROPPING INTO their > respective cockpits. TOM: Ow! CROW: Ouch! MIKE: Oh, my hinder! > > 81A EXT. MONORAIL STATION - NIGHT (OLD SC 69) 81A > > Fred, Bulk and Skull watch a sleek monorail pulling in. Skull > talks with a mouth full of pizza. > > SKULL > Look, kid, I don't think you > realize who you're dealing with. MIKE: And _you_ do? > > FRED > I don't think he realizes who > HE'S dealing with. MIKE: MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! > > The train glides to a complete stop and the doors SLIDE OPEN . TOM: Even with no adults, mass transit works right on schedule! > > FRED > EVERYBODY ON BOARD! > > The youngsters pile through the doors, quickly filling up the > entire monorail. > > 81B EXT. CITY STREET 81B > > The parents round a corner, advance down the street like > machines. MIKE: Just givin' you an update, folks... Now back to the movie. > > 82 EXT. THE ECTO-MORPHICON MACHINES 82 > > ATTACK WITH A RELENTLESS FEROCITY. There's all kinds of > CRASHING and BASHING and EXPLOSIONS! TOM: Will you guys CHILL already? > > There's a BLAM, BLAM, BLAM as Scorpitron REPEATEDLY FIRES his > cannon arm at the Bear Zord, who in turn DEFLECTS THE VOLLEYS. > > Hornitor shoots a BLAST from it's stinger, the Crane Zord > dodges the FIERY ERUPTION. > > KIMBERLY (V. O.) > Nice try, Pinhead! MIKE: Eat my dust, you big ugly bug! > > Scorpitron repeatedly KICKS at the Frog Zord with it's BLADED > FEET, SENDING UP OSCILLATORY DISCHARGES, at the same time > SLASHING WITH IT'S LETHAL CLAWS. > > ADAM (V. O.) > Somebody back me up, here! MIKE: I think you're right! TOM: Yeah, me, too! > > Hornitor BORES IT'S DRILL ARM TOM: Well this movie bores US, what's your point? > INTO THE APE ZORD, SENDING > EXPLOSIONS OF SPARKS. MIKE: As long as it doesn't try to send them UPS... > > ROCKY (V. O.) > These things are FEROCIOUS! > > The Bear Zord CHARGES HORNITOR and the two Mastodons go > CRASHING BACKWARD. MIKE: Mastodons? TOM: Psst, the Mastodon is gone, you guys... > > AISHA (V.O.) > The bear kicks butt! > > Hornitor SEARS TOM: JC PENNEY'S! MIKE: MONTGOMERY WARD'S! CROW: DILLARDS! > the Wolf Zord with it's needle-nose. In > retaliation, the Wolf Zord POUNCES, KNOCKING HORNITOR INTO THE > STREET. Now the Falcon Zord SWOOPS THROUGH THE AIR. > > TOMMY (V.O.) > Heads up! ALL: > > He FIRES BOOSTER ROCKETS, STRAFING SCORPITRON WITH AN INTENSE > FUSILLADE. > > Hornitor gets back up -- the Ape Zord SWINGS DOWN FROM > BILLBOARD, RAMS HIM FEET FIRST, SENDS HIM CATAPULTING BACK. > > ROCKY (V.O.) > Hope you've got a good mechanic. > > Scorpitron FIRES A VOLLEY at the Frog Zord -- the Zord BOUNDS > THROUGH THE AIR, AVOIDING THE BLAST, COMES CRASHING DOW MIKE: Looks like it's Black Monday again! > ON > TOP OF SCORPITRON. > > The Falcon Zord swoops in and blasts Scorpitron who BLOWS UP > INTO A BILLION FLAMING PARTICLES! MIKE: So, one down, one to go? TOM: Yep. Gee, 6 to two... Seems kinda unfair, huh? > > KIMBERLY (V.O.) > WE GOT HIM!! > > IVAN > (outraged) > These brats are ruining > EVERYTHING! MIKE: And I would've gotten away with it, too; if it hadn't been for you wretched kids and your dog! > > Mordant and Goldar watch popeyed TOM: The sailored man! > as IVAN'S BODY STRETCHES OUT > LIKE A HUGE PIECE OF GUM. MIKE: So kiss a little longer... TOM: Double, double your refreshment... CROW: You get extra flavor, extra fun... > > He STRETCHES and STRETCHES MIKE: And stretches! And stretches! TOM: It's Jonah13! > until his head BURSTS THROUGH THE > STOMACH OF SCORPITRON. CROW: AH! _Aliens_! MIKE: What it is with all the references to movie by 20th Century Fox... Ohhhh... > > We hear a resounding SNAP AS IVAN'S FEET ARE RELEASED FROM THE > ROOFTOP AND HIS ENTIRE BEING SPURTS INSIDE THE GIANT'S BELLY. TOM: Is this some kind of sex metaphor, Mike? MIKE: God, I hope not... > > Now there's all sorts of GURGLING and SLURPING sounds as the > monster's face SHAPE-SHIFTS INTO IVAN'S FACE! > > He grins, revealing his silver tooth. CROW: Ok, he's got a silver tooth- WE GET IT, already! > > IVAN > Let's TANGO! CROW: But it takes two to tango, and you've got... Well, seven. > > TOMMY (V.O.) > We need Ninja MEGAZORD POWER, > NOW! > > There's amazing PYROTECHNICS AS FIVE ANIMAL ZORDS MERGE > TOGETHER AND TRANSFORM INTO THE NINJA MEGAZORD. CROW: This would probably be a lot more impressive if we could see it. TOM: I doubt it... This IS Saban we're talking about... > > 82A INT. COMMAND CENTER 82A > > As Alpha watches the battle on the viewing globe, he does > little jig. > > ALPHA 5 > GO, Rangers! GO, Rangers! GO, > Rangers! GO! TOM: That scene almost makes me yearn for "Ay-yi-yi". Almost. > > 83 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 83 > > The Rangers are side by side, each of them handling different > controls. > > BILLY > ACTIVATING NINJA MEGAZORD BATTLE > MODE! > > 84 EXT. MAIN STREET 84 > > There's plenty of GRINDING and SCRAPING as the MEGAZORD RISES > UP TO ITS FULL, TOWERING HEIGHT. CROW: Mike, why do I suddenly need a cigarette? > > BILLY (V.O.) > All systems go! > > KIMBERLY (V.O.) > This guy is messing with the > wrong teenagers! > > The behemoths CHARGE each other and the mother of all battles > begins. TOM: ...in Iraq. But that has nothing to do with THIS film, so... > > 85 EXT. GREENWAY STREET - NIGHT 85 > > The parents continue to advance through the city like robots. MIKE: Move along, nothing to see here... > > 86 OMITTED 86 TOM: Probably another "parents walking through the city streets like zombies/robots/machines" scene. > > 87 EXT. MAIN STREET - NIGHT 87 > > The battle continues. Remarkably, these enormous machines > pull off DOUBLE PUNCHES, DROP KICKS, ROUNDHOUSE HOOKS, > SPINBACK KICKS -- YOU NAME IT! MIKE: Ah, the glorious return of "you name it"! TOM: In all caps, even! > > KIMBERLY (V.O.) > ENGAGING KNUCKLE ROCKETS! > > BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM -- The Megazord STRAFES Ivan/Scorpitron > with EXPLODING MISSILES. > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > Don't make me LAUGH! MIKE: A farmer's daughter walks into a bar... > > Ivan/Scorpitron SINGES the Megazord with a DEVASTATING LASER > BLAST, MIKE: Yeah, that movie was pretty devastating... TOM: But Leonard Maltin gave it two-and-a-half stars! > SENDING IT TUMBLING BACKWARD. > > RANGERS (V.O.) > WHOOOAAAHH!! > > The Falcon Zord SWOOPS IN, STRAFING Ivan/Scorpitron with > gunfire. Ivan/Scorpitron now turns to Angel Grove Tower and > grabs hold of it. ALL: Take me out to the ball, game/ Take me out to the field... > > 88 EXT. TOWER 88 > > Mordant grabs on to Goldar. > > GOLDAR > I'm outta here. > > MORDANT > Wait for me! TOM: No! CROW: Let him die! > > Goldar TAKES FLIGHT with Mordant CLINGING DESPERATELY TO ONE > OF HIS LEGS. MIKE: There's an image I didn't need. > > GOLDAR > GET OFF ME! > > MORDANT > BUT I'M YOUR COUSIN! > > GOLDAR > SECOND COUSIN, THREE TIMES > REMOVED. NOW GET OFF ME! <6 5 4 3 2 @> > 89 EXT. MAIN STREET 89 > > Ivan/Scorpitron RIPS THE TOWER OUT AND USES IT AS A SWORD TO > BATTLE THE MEGAZORD. > > IVAN/SCORPITRON > UN GARDE! MIKE: Hey, if you gonna use foreign words, at least spell them right! TOM: They misspelled "gesundheit" earlier, too... > > The giant SWINGS THE TOWER, BATTERING THE MEGAZORD > MERCILESSLY. > > ROCKY (V.O.) > POWER SWORD, NOW! MIKE: Ah, that's what Rocky calls his penis... TOM: That's certainly not what any of the girls call it! CROW: Billy, on the other hand... > > The POWER SWORD DROPS FROM THE HEAVENS, PIERCES THE GROUND. > Megazord grips the handle, raises it to the sky. > > ADAM (V.O.) > HIGH POWER ENGAGE! > > The sword is STRUCK BY THUNDERBOLTS and now the behemoths > SLASH and PARRY WITH CATACLYSMIC BURSTS OF SPARKS. TOM: Heeeere we are... Born to be kings... ALL: We're the Princes of the Universe! > > Ivan/Scorpitron takes a swing and the TOWER SMASHES INTO > MONORAIL, SHATTERING A TWENTY FOOT SECTION OF AN OVERPASS CROW: Gee, all the kids on the monorail are gonna die. TOM: What a pity. MIKE: Real shame. > > Ivan/Scorpitron continues backing the Megazord toward an > enormous power station. > > IVAN/SCORPITRON > Time to recharge your batteries, > FLOWER Rangers! MIKE: The Shower Rangers! TOM: The Dour Ranger! CROW: The Matt Lauer Rangers! > > He takes a final, DEVASTATING BLOW, SENDS MEGAZORD HURTLING > THROUGH THE AIR AND DOWN INTO GIANT GENERATORS. > > There's an APOCALYPTIC FIREWORKS DISPLAY ALL: > AS TEN MILLION VOLTS > COURSE THROUGH MEGAZORD. > > 90 INT. COCKPIT 90 > > The kids are SHOWERED WITH SPARKS - ELECTRICAL TENTACLES > SPLAY THROUGHOUT THE COCKPIT. > > RANGERS > WHOOAAAAAHHH!!! > > 90A OMITTED 90A > > 91 EXT. MEGAZORD 91 > > Rolls clear, SMOKE AND SPARKS SPITTING FROM ITS JOINTS. > > BILLY (V.O.) > SYSTEM MALFUNCTION! MIKE: Mal-func-tion! Mal-func-tion! > > AISHA (V.O.) > OUR SEMI-CONDUCTORS ARE DOWN! > > IVAN PICKS UP THE PROSTRATE MEGAZORD, RAISES IT OVER HIS HEAD > AND THROWS IT. ToM: Great, now Ivan thinks he's Jesse "the Body" Ventura! > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > NEXT STOP, ANGEL GROVE FIRST > NATIONAL! MIKE: Oh, good, cuz I have a check I need to cash. > > He HURTLES THE MEGAZORD INTO A BUILDING with a sign that > "Angel Grove First National Bank". The ENTIRE SIDE OF THE > BUILDING IS DEMOLISHED. > > TOMMY (V.O.) > One more blow like that and we're > HISTORY! > > 92 EXT. THE MONORAIL 92 > > Speeds around a bend. CROW: Where's Keanu Reeves when you need him?! > > 93 INT. FRED 93 > > Looks on in shock at the huge rupture in the tracks ahead. > > FRED > EVERYBODY HANG ON!! > > He YANKS the emergency cord. It doesn't work! MIKE: Well, isn't THAT convenient? > > 94 EXT. THE TRAIN 94 > > The train heads for the jagged edge of the broken track. CROW: So, they're headed for a big hole in the track? MIKE: Yep. TIM: Pretty much. > > 95 INT. FALCON ZORD COCKPIT 95 > > Tommy throws his collective forward. MIKE: Ewww! Tommy, don't do that! > > TOMMY > The monorail is in trouble! I'm > going in! TOM: I don't think your Zord is gonna fit in the monorail, Tommy. > > 98 EXT. THE MONORAIL 98 TOM: HEY! What happened to parts 96 and 97? > > has almost reached the rupture. Suddenly the Falcon Zord > SWOOPS IN AND FILLS THE RIFT. MIKE: Hey! They ripped that off from _Superman_! > > The monorail miraculously SLIDES across the back of the zord > and continues down the tracks. > > 99 INT. MONORAIL 99 > > Fred, Bulk, Skull and the hundreds of kids CHEER WILDLY. > We hear: "Right on!", "All right Power Rangers!", "Awesome!" MIKE: "White Power!" TOM: "Hell no, we won't go!" CROW: "I am sooo high!" > > 100 EXT. IVAN/COLOSSUS 100 > > climbs up a ten story building like a mechanical King Kong. ALL: > > 101 INT. COCKPIT 101 > > The kids watch as Ivan reaches the top of the building, gazes > up at the stormy skies. > > ROCKY > What's he doing?! > > There's more SLURPING and BUBBLING AS HIDEOUS, BAT-LIKE WINGS > ERUPT FROM HIS BACK. TOM: He's a Transformer! > > The wings FAN OUT and Ivan/Colossus DIVES INTO THE AIR AND > SOARS UP INTO THE HEAVENS. > > BILLY > Let's go after him!! CROW: Nah, let's just stay here and watch him take over the world. > > 102 INT. FALCON ZORD COCKPIT 102 > > TOMMY > Ultra Ninja Megazord complete! CROW: No, it isn't... TOM: One more scene, Tommy... > > 103 EXT. MEGAZORD 103 > > The Falcon Zord SWOOPS down and latches on to the back of the > Megazord. Now the Megazord GLOWS WITH A TRANSCENDENTAL > LUMINESCENCE and GLORIOUS WINGS SPREAD OUT FROM IT'S BACK. MIKE: Ok, NOW it's complete... > > 104 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 104 > > Tommy DROPS INTO a seat beside the other Rangers. TOM: OW! We gotta find a better way to do this, guys... > > TOMMY > I'm in! > > BILLY > LET'S FLY! > > Billy throws a switch. > > 105 EXT. MEGAZORD 105 > > The Megazord TAKES TO THE AIR with the grace of an Eagle. MIKE: No, it's a Falcon, dummy! > > 106 EXT. CITY STREET 106 > > Fred, Bulk, Skull and the entourage of kids come rushing > toward the construction site. They can see the parents > heading toward the drop off. ALL: Woo-hoo! Our parents are gonna die! YAY!! > > FRED > There they are! MIKE: Fire at will! CROW: Which one's Will? > > BULK > They're heading for the cliff! > > SKULL > That's gotta be an eighty foot > drop! > > KID #3 > Whadda we do?! MIKE: Party! > > Fred thinks for a moment, his eyes settling on a large tanker > truck. > > FRED > FOLLOW ME!! > > 107 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 107 > > Billy fixes on a screen. TOM: Yeah, he'll do that. > > ADAM > We've got him locked! > > BILLY > Speed? MIKE: No, I prefer morphine, thanks... > > AISHA > 1600 m.p.h. and increasing! > > TOMMY > Everybody hold on tight. We're > gonna send this sucker into > OBLIVION! TOM: Oh, good... I hear it's nice this time of year. > > 108 EXT. SKY 108 > > KAPAOW!!! > > SPARKS EXPLODE AND METAL CRUNCHES AS THE TWO GIANTS GO > CATAPULTING OFF INTO OUTER SPACE. CROW: Never to be seen again. TOM: And there was much rejoicing... ALL: Yay. > > 109 INT. SNOW GLOBE / ZEDD'S PALACE 109 > > Zedd and Rita are now half-buried in snow, both of them blue > in the face. As usual, Rita is ranting away. > > RITA > You call yourself a hell-hound?! MIKE: Well, no, not really... > A basset hound is more like it. > If you were a real outlaw you > would've gotten me out of this > blizzard HOURS ago! > > Zedd shakes his head in misery. TOM: Please kill me... > > ZEDD > This is the last time I marry a > witch. > > Zedd and Rita react as they see Ivan/Colossus and Megazord > shooting out into the stars. > > RITA > It's Ivan and the Megazord!! MIKE: Sounds like the name of a rock band. > > 110 EXT. OUTER SPACE 110 > > The two behemoths HURTLE THROUGH SPACE while POUNDING, > SLASHING and RIPPING at each other. > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > NOTHING can defeat the Powers of > Darkness! > > Now Ivan/Colossus goes to town on Megazord. WHOMP! THWACK! > CRUNCH! He SMASHES the machine mercilessly. > > 111 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 111 > > The cockpit fills with smoke, SPARKS erupt from panels, > EMERGENCY LIGHTS FLASH. > > BILLY > WE'RE BREAKING UP! CROW: I hear that's hard to do... > > 112 EXT. OUTER SPACE 112 > > Ivan/Colossus BASHES the Megazord so hard that the machine > does MULTIPLE CARTWHEELS through the cosmos. MIKE: 9.5 TOM: 9.0 CROW: 9.85 > > Ivan/Colossus makes a KAMIKAZE-DIVE straight for Megazord > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > SLAM DANCE, ANYONE?! MIKE: Sure, I'd love to! > > He BASHES the Megazord, SENDS IT SPIRALING. > > 113 INT. MEGAZORD > > FLAMES ERUPT in the cockpit - everything SHAKES and RATTLES > > ADAM > He's on us!! > > BILLY > Wait a second... What time is > it? > > ROCKY > Two thirty three a.m. > > BILLY > Ryan's Comet!! CROW: And we HAVE closure on the subplot! > > KIMBERLY > What about it? > > Biily punches information into a keyboard. > > BILLY > It's passing over earth as we > speak! > (reading screen) > Trajectory coordinates are > 009843. > > ADAM > Billy, that's BRILLIANT! > > KIMBERLY TOM: She's speechless! > > BILLY > We get Ivan into the Comets PATH-- > > AISHA > -- and KABOOOM -- he's space > dust! MIKE: Geez, you have to spoon feed these kids! TOM: For saviors of the planet, they're not very bright. > 113A EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE 113A > > Fred is standing beside the water truck holding a large hose > Bulk and Skull are in the truck cabin trying to start the > engine. It turns over but it won't catch. TOM: Oh, God! Now it's a bad horror movie! > > FRED > Come on! Come on! > > The parents are now five feet from the drop off. > Bulk turns the key again and the engine starts up. > > FRED > All right! > > He LETS IT RIP -- MIKE: Oh, man! What did I have for lunch today? P-U!! > A POWERFUL JET OF WATER ARCS THROUGH THE AIR > AND SHOWERS DOWN ON THE PARENTS. MIKE: Wet t-shirt contest! 'BOTS: WOOOOO!!! > > They're about a foot away from the drop when they come to a > standstill, all of them sharing confused looks. > > There's all sorts of CHEERS as parents and kids are reunited. MIKE: When we get home, young man, you are gonna get SUCH a whipping! > Fred runs into his father's arms. > > FRED > DAD!! > > Bulk turns to Skull, holds out his arms. > > BULK > SKULL!! > > SKULL > BULK!! > > They embrace -- Skull practically gets crushed by his burly > friend. TOM: These to really make you wanna vomit sometimes, huh? MIKE: "Sometimes"? > > > 114 OMITTED 114 > > 115 INT. SNOW GLOBE / ZEDD'S PALACE 115 > > Zedd and Rita continue watching the battle from the snow > globe. > > RITA > I hope those Rangers put that > lousy lowlife out of his misery! > > ZEDD > GO POWER RANGERS! MIKE: GO!!! TOM: Power Rangers win the Super Bowl!! > > 116 EXT. OUTER SPACE 116 > > Ivan/Colossus SLAMS into Megazord again and the pair go > TWISTING THROUGH THE STARS. MIKE: Shall we dance? > > Ivan/Colossus gets the Megazord into a lethal bear hug. CROW: HEY! You're stealing my bit! > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > Have you hugged your Zord today? MIKE: Awwww... See, Ivan's really not such a bad guy... > > 117 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 117 > > KIMBERLY > > R.G.P. PRESSURE IS HEADING INTO THE RED! > > TOMMY > WE'RE GOING TO IMPLODE! > > BILLY > THREE DEGREES OFF THE COMETS > TRAJECTORY! > > ROCKY > GIVE IT EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT! > > All the Rangers go to work. TOM: Shouldn't that read "All the Rangers GO TO WORK!" MIKE: Yeah, really... With all the excitement in this script, you'd think they'd be a little more enthusiastic in the final scenes of the movie. > > 118 118 > thru OMITTED thru > 118A 118A > > 119 EXT. OUTER SPACE 119 > > Ivan/Colossus continues to SQUEEZE Megazord. We hear > SCREECHING METAL and BURSTING VALVES. > > 120 INT. COMMAND CENTER 120 > > Alpha and Zordon watch as Ivan/Colossus bear hugs Megazord. > > ALPHA 5 > Ay, yi, yi! The Rangers are > going to be CRUSHED! MIKE: ...when they find out I didn't get them any Christmas presemts. > > ZORDON > Don't lose hope yet, Alpha! > > 121 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 121 > > BILLY > 009843... 42... 41! WE'RE IN > ALIGNMENT! MIKE: Lawful good? TOM: Chaotic evil? CROW: Neutral good? > > ROCKY > THERE'S THE COMET! > > We see a BRILLIANT COMET BLAZING straight toward us! ALL: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! MIKE: No, wait! I don't think they really mean "us"... I think they mean in the movie. 'BOTS: Oooohhh... > > BILLY > IMPACT IN FIFTEEN SECONDS! > > TOMMY > WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!! > > 122 EXT. OUTER SPACE 122 > > Ivan/Colossus continues to SQUEEZE Megazord, oblivious to MIKE: How lame the plot was. > the > COMET BOMBING TOWARD HIM. Megazord struggles fiercely to > break free. MIKE: This relationship is suffocating me! > > 123 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 123 > > ADAM > WE CAN'T BREAK FREE! > > BILLY > IMPACT IN EIGHT SECONDS! > > AISHA > Desperate times call for > desperate measures. ALL MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!! > > Aisha opens a metal switch cover. > > KIMBERLY > What're you doing?! > > Inside is a red switch with a sign: "FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY" > > AISHA > Taking care of business. MIKE: Every day? CROW: Every way? > > She flicks the switch. > > 124 EXT. OUTER SPACE 124 > > Ivan/Colossus is about to CRUSH Megazord into oblivion whEn MIKE: Whoah! TOM: It's Torgo! AAAAAH! > Megazord's KNEE SUDDENLY RISES WITH LIGHTNING SPEED AND KICKS > IVAN/COLOSSUS RIGHT IN THE GROIN. CROW: WHAAAAAAT?? MIKE: So, all this for a knee-in-the-groin joke? > > Ivan/Colossus releases Megazord and DOUBLES OVER IN PAIN. > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > YEEOOOOOWWW!!!! > > 125 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 125 > > AISHA > Bull's eye! > > BILLY MIKE: Remind me not to get Aisha mad at me! > FOUR SECONDS TO IMPACT! > > TOMMY > WE'RE OUTTA HERE! MIKE: Uh-oh... Dennis Miller's gonna sue! > > 126 EXT. OUTER SPACE 126 > > Megazord WINGS OUT OF THE WAY as the COMET BLASTS STRAIGHT > TOWARD IVAN/COLOSSUS. > > In the last second, he see the HURTLING ORB. > > IVAN/COLOSSUS > NOOOOOOOOOOOOUOOOO!!!! TOM: Oh, poopie! > > Now we witness the EXPLOSION TO END ALL EXPLOSIONS as > Ivan/Colossus is TRANSFORMED INTO A BILLION FLAMING PARTS > HURTLING THROUGH OUTER SPACE. MIKE: Oooohhh... CROW: Ahhhhh... > > > 127 INT. MEGAZORD COCKPIT 127 > > The Rangers all throw their hands up in triumph. MIKE: Maybe that's were the rogue hands come from. The Rangers are just throwing them around! > > RANGERS > MORPHENOMENAL!! > > > 128 INT. COMMAND CENTER 128 > > Alpha LEAPS for joy. > > ALPHA 5 > HOORAY, POWER RANGERS!! > > > 129 INT. SNOW GLOBE / ZEDD'S PALACE 129 > > Rita and Zedd both look immensely pleased. > > ZEDD > That was a CHEAP shot! TOM: This whole MOVIE is a cheap shot. > > RITA > We couldn't have done it better > ourselves. > > KAPOW -- Zedd and Rita APPEAR BACK IN ZEDD'S PALACE IN > ORIGINAL SIZE, both of them still covered in snow. > > 130 INT. COMMAND CENTER - DAY 130 > > The Rangers are gathered around Zordon, holding their helmets > in their hands. > > ZORDON > Rangers, by going after the Great > Power, all of you knowingly put > your lives at extreme risk... and > in so doing you not only saved my > life, you saved all of Angel > Grove and the world from a reign > of unthinkable terror. MIKE: Awwww, shucks... 'Tweren't nothin'... > > The Rangers literally beam. Alpha holds up a camera. > > ALPHA 5 > Everybody say cheese. > > The kids share amused looks and all together they LEAP IN THE > AIR, PUMPING THEIR FISTS UP VICTORIOUSLY. MIKE: Don't say "pumping"... > > RANGERS > POWER RANGERS!!! > > WE FREEZE FRAME. BEGIN CLOSING CREDITS. CROW: HALLELUHA!! > > 131 INT. ZEDD'S PALACE - DAY - OVER CLOSING CREDITS 131 CROW: There's MORE? NOOO!! > > Rita and Zedd chase Mordant and Goldar around the palac > BLASTING them with their staffs. > > GOLDAR > What'd we do?! MIKE: The fact that you exist is MORE than enough reason to want to kill you. > > ZEDD > It's not what you DID, it's what > you DIDN'T do! > > MORDANT > We tried to rescue you every > chance we had! > > RITA > LIARS! > > She WHACKS Goldar. TOM: I want you to whack him, and whack him good! > > GOLDAR > Ouch!! > > RITA > Do you know what it's like to be > stuck in a BLIZZARD FOR TWO > DAYS?! MIKE: Well, seeing as I come from Wisconsin, I'd have to say "yes". > > MORDANT > ... Cold? > > ZEDD > Are you trying to be funny?! > > Zedd BLASTS Mordant, SINGING his hairy behind. > > MORDANT > Hey, watch the hair!!! > > > FADE OUT. CROW: Are we done? Can we GO now? <@ 2 3 4 5 6> PEARL: Great.. All this stopping and starting! I HATE traffic... BRAIN GUY: Will you be careful? You're jiggling my brain around! I'm getting dizzy. PEARL: Oh, well, would YOU like to drive, oh impotent one? BRAIN GUY: Oh... well... I can't, you see... I... my brain.... BOBO: I WANNA DRIVE!!! PEARL: Shut up, Roddy McDowall... I... PEARL: Uh-oh... Something must be wrong with the bus... Dammit... All this jerking around must've caused a flame out... BRAIN GUY: Oh, now look at what you've done! PEARL: ME?!? Did you see that idiot? He merged right into the hyperspace bypass without signaling! BOBO: ROAD HOG!!! You can kiss my red butt!! PEARL: I'm broken down, and they're cramming by me! Don't these people know a delicate damsel in distress when they see one? BRAIN GUY: _I_ don't see one.... PEARL: Well we're going to have to get out of the way somehow! Get out and push, Bobo. BOBO: Me, Lawgiver? Why doesn't *he* do something for once? PEARL: Yes, you, Bobo. You see, if you don't get out and push, the Lawgiver can't get back to trying to rule the universe, and if I can't get back to trying to rule the universe... PEARL: I'M GOING TO HAVE CHILLED MONKEY BRAINS FOR DESSERT! You savvy, Charles Darwin?!? BOBO: Why don't I just get out and push Lawgiver? PEARL: Well, Bobo! How nice of you to offer! BRAIN GUY: Oh, icky! Right in the ashtray! BOBO: What about a space suit, Lawgiver? PEARL: What about it? BOBO: Of course... Silly me... BOBO: My this thing... Is rather heavy... I could use a hand... BOBO: That's... very kind of you, Lawgiver. BOBO: How... much... farther...? PEARL: Just a little bit more... Just a little bit more... Just a little bit more... Just a little bit more... <10 minutes later> BRAIN GUY: Do you mind hurrying a little bit, you pathetic excuse for a post-hominid? BOBO: PEARL: Oh, c'mon, ya wimp! Put your back into it! BOBO: I... I... ... gaaaaahhhh.... BRAIN GUY: Oh, GREAT! Now were _really_ stuck... PEARL: Oh, don't get your synapses in a bunch! We'll figure out how.... PEARL: Well silly me! In all the stopping and going, I just stalled the engine. PEARL: I have so much trouble driving a stick sometimes.... BRAIN GUY: AH! Well, let's get going, shall we... PEARL: I suppose we should try and find Bobo. PEARL & BRAIN GUY: NAAAAAAHHHHH.... Mystery Science Theater 3000 Created by JOEL HODGSON This MiSTing written by CATHERINE JOHNSON Host Segments by CATHERINE JOHNSON and CHRIS GLEASON Featuring Crow BILL CORBETT Mike Nelson MICHAEL J. NELSON Gypsy PATRICK BRANTSEG Servo KEVIN MURPHY Also Featuring Pearl Forrester MARY JO PEHL Observer BILL CORBETT Professor Bobo KEVIN MURPHY Cop BRIDGET JONES MST3K and all characters and situations contained therein are the brainchildren of Joel Hodgson, and are the property of Best Brains, Inc. They are used here without permission for purposes of entertainment only. MMPR and all character and sitations therein are the property of Saban and Fox. They are used here without permission for entertainment purposes only. This MiSTing is not meant as an insult to Saban, Fox, or any of the actors, crew, caterers, grips, and assorted animal wranglers that worked on the movie, or the writers of the script itself. KEEP CIRCULATING THE POSTS > You garlic-sucking DINGLEBRAIN!