Path: archiver1.google.com!newsfeed.google.com!newsfeed.stanford.edu!nntp.cs.ubc.ca!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!portc03.blue.aol.com!uunet!dca.uu.net!ralph.vnet.net!not-for-mail From: Roland Warner Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Subject: MiSTed: James Cameron A Go-Go (1/3) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. Message-ID: <5o58ktke30pc2s2n12e1nh8dpfq7csvhuq@4ax.com> X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 605 Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:48 -0400 NNTP-Posting-Host: 166.82.29.53 X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 994321032 166.82.29.53 (Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:12 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:12 EDT Xref: archiver1.google.com rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc:35151 Here she is finally, the last MiSTing in the James Cameron Trilogy! I've gone through and tried to fix any margin errors, but I hope it works fine! Enjoy! Roland, cyanide capsules not included, Warner ----- [In the not too distant future...] [*...!1!...~2~...#3#...&4&...^5^...%6%...@] [Mike is standing behind the table with Tom on his left and Crow on his right. All of them have chocolate stains around their mouths, and Crow's staring off the screen, lost in his own little world, as usual.] Crow: Kitty, kitty, kitty. Mike: [Licking his fingers] Hey everyone, Mike Nelson here with my pals Tom and Crow. We found this batch of "Funder-eggs"- Tom: Aren't they called "Kinder-eggs," Mike? Mike: [Whispering] Shh, remember the lawsuit? Tom: Oh, right. "Funder-eggs" then. Mike: Anyway, We found this batch of "Funder-eggs" in the load-pan bay while cleaning it out. These little hollow chocolate eggs have little capsules inside them, which contain these eensy little toys that provide amusement for about five seconds before you realize you got royally ripped off. Supposedly, it's illegal to sell these things in America due to the enormous choking hazard of having kids force these capsules, which are about two inches around, down their throats. [Mike reaches down and pulls out a little green fire truck.] Mike: Mine had this neat little fire truck in it! [Pushes it around] Vroom vroom! [Nervous laugh.] Heh. Heh. It's fun, see? VROOM! VROOM! FIRE FIRE FIRE! Tom: Um, Mike, could you take your mind off your deluded imagination for a moment and pull my toy out from under the table please? Mike: CLANG CLANG-Wha? Oh, sure. [Mike reaches under the table and pulls out a poorly assembled... something] Mike: Gee, um, it's...nice, Tom. What is it? Tom: I'm not quite sure. The directions said it was supposed to be a Panda, but mine ended up being an ashtray. Mike: And I bet they send a lot of ashtrays out in a children's toy. How about you, Crow? Crow: [Idly] Kitty, kitty-oh, what were you-kitty-saying? Mike: Your Funder-egg, what toy did you get in it? Crow: You mean-kitty-there was something-kitty-in that delightfully chocolate-kitty-thingy? Mike: Yeah, the child-digestable capsule, what was in it? Crow: Um, that would-kitty-explain why it was so-kitty-crunchy then! Mike: [Gasps] Crow! You weren't supposed to eat the capsule! Your special toy was in it! Crow: Well, don't-kitty-look at me! All I saw was kitty a chocolate- kitty-yummy egg and ate-kitty-it! Mike: [Sighs] I'm going to take a guess and say your toy was a "kitty", and it's messed up your vocal wiring. [Mads light flashes.] Mike: This is gonna take me a while to fix, folks, so let's see what these guys are up to. Yes, Egg of Pearl? [Hits the button] [Castle Forrester - A long dining table is placed in the center of the room, with a tablecloth on it, and chairs placed along its sides. Pearl is seated at the head of the table and notices the camera.] Pearl: Oh, Hi Nelsonian, welcome to my Freemason party. [SOL - Tom and Mike have Crow pinned to the counter. Mike is holding a pair of needlenose pliers] Crow: [over & over] Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! Tom: Shake a leg, Nelson, he's stronger than he looks! Mike: I'm doing it, okay?!? [To Pearl] Did you say a Freemason party? [Castle Forrester] Pearl: No, I said a Freemason Party. Turns out Bobo's a Freemason - no one knew until we went through his closet while making room for my new torture chamber. Anyway, we came across his robes and after Bobo explained it to us, we decided to have a little fete celebrating the wonders of Masonicdomerry. Brainy is going to use his brain-powers to create a feast, and Bobo's phoning all his mason buddies. Too bad your pal James Cameron couldn't make it - he's off shooting Dark Ansel Adams or something. [rubs her hands together] And I've been waiting half an hour, and no one's shown up! No one bettter... [Suddenly a loud "clang" rumbles through the castle.] Pearl: [Nervous] It's them! Bobo! Brain Guy! [Brain Guy enters from the left holding his brain with a chef's hat on it. He's wearing an apron stating: "Kiss the Super-intelligent Highly-Evolved Bodiless Chef". Bobo enters from the right wearing a purple robe with yellow stripes down the sides, and a big fez with the words "Master Chimp" on it.] Pearl: Bobo, answer the door and show the guests in. Bobo: Oh boy! The last time we got together, we stayed up watching all the great Ape movies. I wonder if they brought over "Dunston Checks In" again? [Rushes off to answer the door.] Pearl: And Brain Guy, do your thing! Observer: Yes mum. [Observer walks over to the table, shakes his head, *brainmusic* and a sudden delicious feast fit for kings appears on the table.] Pearl: That is so cool! Observer: [Sheepish] Shucks ma'am, 'taint nuthin' a'tall! Pearl: [puts on a Burger King crown] And remember, when Bobo shows them in, I'm "Queen Pearl", got it? Observer: Right. [Aside] Queen of Clubs, at any rate. [Bobo enters, followed by a group of Freemasons, played by Kevin Murphy (Kev), Jim Mallon (Jimmy), Mike Nelson (Mark, wearing a pair of dark glasses), Paul Chaplin (Pat), and Bill Corbett (Will). All of them are dressed like Bobo.] Mark: [Holding up a six-pack] I brought the brewskis! Pat: [Holding up a video rental case] I got the movie, "Dunston Checks In"! Will: This is gonna be so awesome, the gang back together again! WOOO! PANTY RAID!! Pat: Wait, where's the chicks? Bobo, you said you'd bring the women! Bobo: Um, well, I said there was *a* woman here, and, um, this is her. Lawgiver, meet Kev, Jimmy, Mark, Pat, and Will. Will: [Aside to the other Freemasons] Cancel the panty raid. Pearl: Ah, how do you do? I'm Pearl, soon to be Queen of the World! Jimmy: "Soon to be" you say? And what "plans" do you have for world domination, praytell? Pearl: Well, you'll witness my experiment soon enough, for you see, my son shot a man into space and has been forcing him to watch the worst movies and read the most awful fanfics and conspiracy theories ever! [Lightning strikes off screen, illuminating Pearl's face.] [While Pearl's ranting, a few of the Freemasons wander over to Observer and start poking at him and his brain.] Observer: Please don't poke there, I'm very sensiti-Ooooh. [collapses] Pearl: A-HEM! I was talking here! [The Freemasons wander back to Pearl.] Kev: Conspiracy theories, you say? Say, I think I happen to have a few conspiracy theories on me! [Searches his robe.] I *know* I brought them here - it was the last thing I picked up on my way out of the temple and - Ah, here they are! [Kev hands Pearl two computer disks.] Pearl: Great! Brain Guy, get your Crisco-y butt over here! Observer: [Running] Yes, Pearl! Pearl: Mike, prepare to meet thy doom as you read... [checks the disk label] Not *this* again?!? Pat: Hey, a conspiracy's a conspiracy, you know?!? Pearl: Yeah, but... *sigh* Okay, Smellson, here's "James Cameron, Mars, and 33 Degrees" and "James Cameron and the Hollywood Matrix"! Send 'em the disk, Brainenator! [*brainmusic* Poof, disk is gone!] Pearl: What is it with you guys and James Cameron anyway? Mark: He helps ramp up the chick-factor! [The Freemasons surround the table and start wolfing down food.] Will: I call dibs on the wishbone! Pearl: [shakes her head, then turns to the screen.] Okay, you three - IN THE THEATER, NOW! [SoL - Mike tosses the Funder-egg "Kitty" on the table.] Tom: You've got to be kidding me? MORE CAMERON?? Crow: [Looking at Kitty] Mittens, are you eating Gerbils again? Mike: What was that about Cameron Diaz, Tom? Tom: Weren't you guys listening? JAMES CAMERON IS ON THE LOOSE AGAIN! [Lights Flash, chaos ensues] All: AHHHH PEREZ.KOOK SIGN!!! [@...%6%...^5^...&4&...#3#...~2~...!1!...*] Tom: My Funder-egg Panda is scared. Crow: My Funderwear needs changing. Mike: You're outta luck there, Crow. > JAMES CAMERON, MARS AND 33 DEGREES Tom: [Announcer] It's a long par 5 on Mars with James Cameron 33 degrees to the left. > > On August 14th, 1999, the Mars Society held a conference at the University > of Colorado in Boulder, Colorado regarding the issue of a manned mission to > Mars. Mike: Marvin the Martian was later questioned and released in connection with the Jon-Benet Ramsey case. > Among several invited speakers to this event was James Cameron. Mike: Also invited were George Takei and Rosie O'Donnell. > > It has been previously established in The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory > and the James Cameron 33rd Degree Mason papers, Crow: Not to mention "James Cameron: Judgement Day"... Mike: "James Cameron and the Temple of Doom"... Tom: "Oh, James Cameron! You Devil!"... > that Cameron is a 33rd > Degree Freemason. His career, as it was shown in those papers, was > influenced by two warring factions of Freemasonry known as the Law of One > and the Sons of Belial. Crow: [Author] But mostly, their war consisted of calling each other names like "Sissy Pants" and "Stinky Butt". > This rivalry within Freemasonry traces it's roots > back through various secret societies to Atlantis and to the Anunnaki, Tom: o/` I did it all for Anunnaki - for Anunnaki - for Anunnaki! o/` > the > progenitors of the human race. All of this was outlined in the JFK > Celestial Conspiracy paper. Mike: [Author] Which I'm sure you've all read, memorized, and are ready to take a test on! > > Cameron, who had joined the Mars Society back on February 22nd, 1999, is > currently working on two projects relating to Mars in the form of a TV > miniseries for the FOX network Tom: To be entitled "When Martians Attack". > and a motion picture about Mars. Crow: Thrill as DiCaprio & Winslet make whoopee on board the Viking lander! > > At 10:20 AM Mountian Daylight Time on Saturday, August 14th, Cameron began > his speech with an enthusiasm about exploring Mars. At this time, a > celestial alignment had taken place over Boulder, Colorado which symbolized > Cameron's current status as a 33rd Degree Mason. Mike: I dunno, can you really call an airplane pulling an "I'm King of the World" banner a "celestial alignment"? > The star Sirius was > located at 33 Degrees above the Southern Horizon! Tom: [Kosh] And so it begins. Crow: With all the evil Hollywood has to offer, why do we always seem to come back to James Cameron? Tom: You know, Mike, if you hold my hand during the scary part, it doesn't mean you're gay. Mike: I'll keep that in mind, Tom. > > In ancient Egyptian Mythology, the star Sirius was symbolic of the goddess > Isis who was the wife of Osiris and the mother of Horus. Crow: Ah, the goddess of Pre-Giuliani Times Square! > The ancient > Egyptian Pantheon of gods are an intricate part of a celestial symbolism > ritual Tom: *And* a part of this nutritious breakfast! > used by those who are at the highest levels of Freemasonry to mark > significant events and achievements by high-ranking members of the > fraternity. Tom: Of course, the low-ranking members symbolize it by panty-raids and keggers. Mike: Ancient Egyptian Kegger! Wooooo!! All: WOOOOOOO!!!!!! > > This ritual has been exposed by Richard C. Hoagland who is the head > of the Enterprise Mission, Mike: Scott Bakula *IS* Richard C. Hoagland *IN* "Star Trek: Enterprise". > an organization dediated to find out the > truth about America's space program. Hoagland has uncovered and posted on > his website a consistent pattern of ritual symbolism used by Masonic > "insiders" at NASA which is intricately connected to the timing of NASA > missions and events. Crow: If you read it on a website, you know it has to be true! > > This ritual symbolism takes place at five main alignment altitudes > according to the model uncovered by Hoagland, at 19.5 Degrees above and > below the horizon, at 33 Degrees above and below the Horizon and exactly on > the Horizon. Mike: Connect the dots to find a picture of "Big Boy". > 19.5 Degrees has been established as the primary number in > Hyperdimensional Physics. 33 Degrees is symbolic of the highest degree > attainable in Freemasonry. Tom: And Associates Degrees have been proven really easy to get from your local community college. > Therefore the star Sirius being located at 33 > Degrees during a speech given by 33rd Degree Mason James Cameron was no > accident or coincidence. Crow: The galaxy put it there *deliberately*! Tom: This was no boating accident! > > An extended celestial symbolism model with seven points(the same number of > symetry spins of a tetrahedral), as proposed by Daniel Perez would also > include 39 Degrees above and below the horizon since it is the perfect > number in Freemasonry, Tom: So then why aren't there any 39th degree Masons? > twice the amount of the hyperdimensional 19.5 > Degrees and the distance in latitude between 19.5 Degrees North and 19.5 > Degrees South of a double tetrahedron inside of a sphere. Mike: It's also 7 degrees above the point at which water freezes. Tom: Coincidence? I think not! > > The Masonic insiders, who Richard refers to as the "Honest Guys" and > "Secret Guys", Crow: And the ultra-secret "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Conspiracy Place". > are part of the same Masonic rivalry pointed out in the > previous papers on James Cameron as the Law of One and the Sons of Belial. > The Law of One want to bring a "Pax Humana" to the world while the Sons of > Belial want to extablish a totalitarian "New World Order". Mike: Oh yeah, the wrestlers! Tom: [Rock] DO YOU SMELL WHAT POLITICS THE ROCK IS PROMOTING? > > By the end of the James Cameron Conspiracy Theory, it was shown that > Cameron was finally on the side of the Law of One. Crow: Minus the evidence, except for the cheesy astronomical maps on the website > In the James Cameron > 33rd Degree Mason paper, it was shown that Cameron was in danger of being > once again manipulated by the Sons of Belial. Tom: And on "Dick Clark's Celebrity Bloopers and Practical Jokes", it was shown that Cameron easily fell for the old "dribble glass" trick. > It is now obvious that > Cameron is being manipulated again. Tom: By the same person who got him to guest star on "Mad About You". > > Continuing on into the speech to the Mars Society, Cameron went on to > ridicule the notion that there are alien ruins on Mars or life beyond the > Earth by stating; Mike: [Cameron] Hah! Oh boy, you guys really believe that stuff? Hell, this MK-ULTRA works better than I expected! I just wanted to brainwash people into seeing my movies. > > "Mars itself has been dangled before us by literature and film for over a > century as the world of mystery and romance. Burroughs' fantasy realm of > Deeja Thoris and John Carter Crow: And don't forget "Tarzan in Space"! > ... Wells' cold and implacable Martians > striding across London in their tripod war machines ... Bradbury's ancient > Ones sailing in their sandships Crow: Gardner Fox's stately J'Onn J'Onnz... Tom: Tim Burton's Slim-Whitman hating head exploders... Mike: Ray Walston's wise old uncle Martin... Tom: Oh, Ray! Mike: It's okay, honey. > ... and of course the B movies of the > fifties ... Mars Needs Women, Angry Red Planet, Invaders from Mars ... the > fantasy life of Mars has been rich Crow: Mars often imagines itself flying like Superman or dating Christina Ricci *and* Cameron Diaz. > > The Mariner and Viking missions produced a letdown ... no crumbling ruins > of ancient wonders ... no alien race, either threatening or > benign-and-wise. And no solid evidence of life. Crow: What's with all the dots between the sentences, Mike? Mike: Oh, those are just the things the author is cutting out that might add some insight or relevance to helping you understand what Mr. Cameron's saying. > > It took 15 years for us to get over this rejection of our adolescent > impulses, and only now are we starting to fall in love with Mars again ... Mike: I remember when Mars wore braces and had this flat chest and now... Crow: Mars was a late bloomer. > only this time it is a mature love, a real and lasting love, based on > understanding and realistic expectations. Crow: Not to mention an iron-clad prenup. Mike: It's the one thing Cameron's learned all too well over the years > But like any great love, it must > be fueled somewhat by mystery, and Mars still holds many great mysteries > for us." Mike: Mars likes to make us *guess* what it wants for its birthday. Tom: Say, wasn't this supposed to have Cameron ridiculing Mars? All I see is a bunch of poetic mumbo jumbo. > > It's interesting that Cameron referred to the Viking Missions as a > letdown in regards to alien ruins on Mars and called the idea of > extra-terrestrial life an "adolescent impulse". Crow: [Teenage boy] Dudes! I totally busted up Mars! Mike & Tom: [Teenage boy] Dude! > > In 1976, the Viking 1 Space craft had taken photographs of an area called > Cydonia. Tom: Wow, they took a picture of Cydonia's area? > In this area several anomalous and enigmatic objects were seen, > most notably a one mile long face and several large mounds resembling > pyramids. NASA tried to dimiss the Face as a trick of light and shadow, but > diligent work by Victor Dipetro, Gregory Molenaar, Richard C. Hoagland, Tom: [Werner Klemperer] Ho-o-o-o-oaglund! > Erol Torun and many others have found consistent mathematical alignments > encoded into the layout of the "Face" and "Pyramids" Mike: Particularly after they've had too much "drink" at "bar". > which show beyond all > reasonable doubt that the structures at Cydonia are artificial and NOT a > "trick of light and shadow". Crow: Hah! That's what the Vorlons *want* you to believe! > > A recent picture of the Face taken by the Mars Global Surveyor on April > 5th, 1998 showed even more evidence of artificial design. Mike: The tulip gardens and the parking deck were dead giveaways. > The artificially > of these objects prove the existence of intelligent life beyond the Earth. Tom: Of course, there's always the possibility it's all an elaborate gag that Shirley MacLaine is perpetuating from lifetime to lifetime. > > In the mundane everyday world, Cameron's rejection of life elsewhere is > very bizzare for a man who had made films about alien life. [All snicker] Crow: Yes, any time you make a movie, you *must* buy into the reality of the premise, unreservedly! Tom: Which means Spielberg is almost as goofy as Roger Corman. Mike: Yeah, but it says uncomfortable things about Coleman Francis. [pause] All: Ewwwwwwww! > Cameron started > his career with a low-budget film about extra-terrestrials called > "Xeno-Genesis"(birth of an alien species) which has symbolic overtones of > Zecharia Sitchins work regarding the Anunnaki, had made a sci-fi horror > film called "Aliens" and finally made an intelligent film about alien life > called "The Abyss". Mike: Yeesh, not another summary of James Cameron's career. Tom: Hey, maybe this time Dr. Cameron and James Cameron will be the same person! > > When you view this contridiction through the information on these pages and > Cameron's previous manipulation by the Sons of Belial, it all makes perfect > sense. Crow: Especially when the mood-altering drugs kick in. > Cameron was being manipulated again by the Sons of Belial when he > indirectly debunked Cydonia. But the fact that Cameron mentioned "alien > ruins" at all was confirmed by another celestial alignment. Tom: [scrolling back up] You know, he also said "the" and "romance", maybe he could've been talking about his love affair with Mars! Mike: Egads, what will he try to twist around next? Cameron's trying to coat Mars in lip balm? > > A the same time Cameron began his speech, which would have been at 16:20 > Hours Universal Time, the star Regulus, the heart of the constellation Leo, > was located at the hyperdimensional 19.5 Degrees above the SouthEastern > Horizon as seen from the plains of Cydonia. Crow: Okay, it's safe to say he's pulling this out of Uranus now! Hah-ah! Mike: [Slowly shakes his head] > > In ancient Egyptian symbolism, the constellation Leo was associated with > the god Horus. Horus is memorized in Egyptian mythology for avenging the > death of his father Osiris by defeating the evil Seth. Mike: [Ingio] Hallo, my name eez Horus Montoya. You keeled my father. Prepare to die. > Horus was known to > the ancient Egyptians as "Horus the Red" which connected him to the planet > Mars. Tom: But what about Carrot Top and Kathy Griffin? They have red hair, so maybe they're aliens from Mars! Crow: That would explain a lot, Tom. > The consistent connections between Regulus, Leo, Horus and Mars at > Cydonia during Cameron's Sons of Belial manipulated speech shows that the > debunking was intended to "hoodwink" anybody who wants to find evidence of > alien life on Mars. Crow: Hey, pal, I catch you winking at *my* hood - oooh, you're just lucky my chick's here, is all! > > The most prominent feature at Cydonia, the Face , also had it's own > alignments at the beginning of Cameron's speech. Mintaka, the third belt > Star of Orion, was located at 19.5 Degrees above the SouthWest Horizon and > Sirius was on the Horizon. Tom: How the hell is he getting all this stuff? Mike: Tom, honey, don't question it, remember last time? > > Sirius, as previously shown represents the Egyptian goddess Isis who is the > mother of Horus. Mike: Plus, she had her own Saturday morning show with Shazam! > The constellation Orion symbolizes the god Osiris, the > father of Horus. Together Isis and Osiris procreated Horus the Red(Mars). Crow: If you hadn't read it the first time, you're reading it now! > > These alignments show that the intentions of James Cameron inspiring people > to go to Mars was genuine while the indirect debunking of the artifacts at > Cydonia was influenced by the Sons of Belial. Crow: [Cameron] So, to sum up, go to Mars - IF YOU DARE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Hey, was that inspiring or what? > Only continous intervention > and guidance of Cameron's future plans by the Law of One will prevent him > from falling to the "dark" side. Crow: Sounds like he wants to be granted legal custody of James Cameron. Tom: Wait, is James Cameron the good guy or bad guy? I thought he was doing all that brainwashing with the dentists and the MK-ULTRA and stuff? WHERE IS THE LOGIC? WHERE IS THE SANITY? WHERE IS MY HEA- [Tom's head explodes] Mike: [sighs] I warned him. Crow: Poor guy, let's get him out of here. [Mike picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater.] Path: archiver1.google.com!newsfeed.google.com!newsfeed.stanford.edu!novia!newsfeed1.cidera.com!portc01.blue.aol.com!uunet!dca.uu.net!ralph.vnet.net!not-for-mail From: Roland Warner Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Subject: MiSTed: James Cameron A Go-Go (2/3) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. Message-ID: X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 885 Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:54 -0400 NNTP-Posting-Host: 166.82.29.53 X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 994321041 166.82.29.53 (Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:21 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:21 EDT Xref: archiver1.google.com rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc:35152 [*...!1!...~2~...#3#...&4&...^5^...%6%...@] [Mike is cradling Tom in his arms, sobbing quietly to himself while Crow munches another Funder-egg. The capsule for the egg is laying on the desk with the pieces strewn across the counter.] Mike: [sniffs] Poor Servo, he was so young! Why couldn't we be more like "Red Dwarf" and have more convenient plot devices, maybe we could've saved his life! Or more like "Voyager" and find a convenient alien we could steal from and claim the moral high ground at the same time? Crow: Mike, you *do* realize you just wished us to be like "Voyager", right? Mike: I know, I'm sorry. I'm just overcome with grief! Why, oh, *why* did we sell Tom's last head to a bot builder on eBay? Crow: We needed the money for more Funder-eggs. These things are more addictive than coffee! Besides, it was his idea to sell it in the first place. Mike: You're right! [Tosses Tom to the side.] So, what've you got there? Crow: Ah, just some crazy "Gumball Machine" Funder-egg thing. Funny, it looks just like Servo's head on the diagram. Mike: [Examines the instructions] Yeah, it'd be nice if we could use this and - [Gasp, like you didn't see this coming] Crow! We can use this Funder-egg toy and rebuild Tom's head! All we need are six more eggs with different parts to create the same object! Crow: [Examines head - it's *really* small] I, uh, I hate to point this out, Nelson, but this thing is *way* too tiny to be Tom's head. Unless you want him sounding like Alvin the Chipmunk. Mike: Oh. [pause] Hey, we still have that compressed air pump, right? Crow: You mean the one left over from the New Year's Eve party? Sure. Mike: Well, there ya go - we just inflate everything. Tom's a standard 36 psi, so it shouldn't be a problem. Crow: But do we really want to? I mean, it is Tom after all - not someone important like Napoleon or Eisenhower or Thelma Todd or... Mike: Just start eating these eggs and I'll assemble the parts. Crow: Can do! [Mike pops an egg into Crow's mouth, and starts assembling the bowl. [Yellow light flashes] Mike: We'll be right back. [Crow spits out a capsule.] Crow: MUST-GET-MORE-FUNDER-EGG-CHOCOLATE! GIMME GIMME GIMME! [Meatball Logo] [@...%6%...^5^...&4&...#3#...~2~...!1!...*] [Mike enters carrying Tom followed by Crow.] Mike: How does the new head feel, Tom? Tom: Quite good, actually! Although I still feel a bit - light headed. > JAMES CAMERON & THE HOLLYWOOD MATRIX Tom: What is the MK-ULTRA? > > This website recieved the following E-mail on October 4th, 1999 from > someone connected to Gavin DeBecker, the security consultant to the stars > in Hollywood. Crow: Wow, not even three lines into the conspiracy theory and already he's heading back into Astronomy. > > http://www.gdbinc.com/ Mike: Hey, I went to junior high with a Pete Gdbinc! I wonder if they're related? > > Apparently his firm ridiciously Tom: "Ridiciously"? Mike: Ridiculously delicious. Sort of like grape otter pops. > claims that this website somehow a threat > to James Cameron for simply posting a contact address on the internet. Crow: Hmmmm, posting a person's address on the internet without their permission - what could possibly go wrong? > The > address in dispute is the following; > > James Cameron > XXXX Yyyyyyy Zzzzz > Malibu, CA 90265 Tom: Hey, that V-Chip thing really works. Crow: Aw, shucks. I was hoping to send him a letter! Mike: What would you have said? Crow: I would've asked what the hell is the deal with this paranoid whack-o and his problem with Cameron? > > The site's webmaster had simply found this same address on a celebrity > address contact list on the Internet about four years ago. Here's the > message from Mr. DeBecker's firm in it's enterity; Tom: With his permission, I'm sure. > > ----------------- > Received: from outmail2.pacificnet.net [207.171.0.151] by mx05 via mtad > (2.6) with ESMTP id 681DJDPoo0075M05; Mon, 04 Oct 1999 15:14:14 GMT > Received: from cal (pm3c-8.pacificnet.net [207.171.18.105]) by > outmail2.pacificnet.net (8.9.3/8.9.3) with SMTP id XAA13489 for > ; Mon, 4 Oct 1999 23:17:40 -0700 > Message-ID: <001f01bf0e7b$f3264100$5a6509c0@cal> > From: "Ryan Ross" > To: Crow: Hey, it's Daniel Perez's address, I wonder if someone got his permission to use it in this header. Tom: He was lucky to get that screen name. Crow: He really wanted happyflu...@usa.net, but it was already taken. > Subject: Celebrity Addresses > Date: Mon, 4 Oct 1999 08:20:07 -0700 > MIME-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: multipart/alternative; > boundary="----=_NextPart_000_001C_01BF0E41.446CB020" > X-Priority: 3 > X-MSMail-Priority: Normal > X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.2106.4 > X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.2106.4 Mike: Mimes! Bots: Ole'!! > > Dear Sir or Madam: Crow: Or other. Tom: Just in case you send mail to Dennis Rodman. > > We are a security consulting firm that handles safety and privacy issues > for public figures. Mike: Impressive, huh? It really attracts the babes! > It has come to our attention that you are providing an > inappropriate address for one of our clients. To formalize our request, Tom: ...We're wearing tuxedoes as we write this. > we > would like to be certain that the Malibu address you presently list for our > client be removed from the list and that your site only display the > following authorized address: Crow: James Cameron; 33 Degree Rd; Upmybutt, Uranus 33033. > > James Cameron > 919 Santa Monica Boulevard > Santa Monica, CA 90401 Mike: Ironically, this is the address for the Santa Monica Masonic Lodge. > > Our client appreciates your efforts to be certain that appropriate > addresses are printed in your directory, and that you avoid printing an > address which may pose hazard to his safety, privacy, or well-being. Crow: Or one where his ex-wives can come hassle him at. > I > realize that your cooperation will involve some effort on your part and I > again extend our appreciation. Please contact me at our email address to > confirm receipt and implementation of this request. Mike: And if you don't, we'll be forced to make derogatory marks and publicly call you "whacked-out" and a "nincompoop moron". > > Thank you, > > Ryan Ross Mike: Ryan Ross? Really rad! Tom: Rah-rah-rah, Ryan Ross! Crow: Remember Ryan Ross's Raiders! > > Case Manager > > *************************Internet Email > Confidentiality************************** Crow: Ummmmmmmm... Tom: Didn't work that well, did it? > Privileged/Confidential Information may be contained in this message. Mike: Don't worry, we'd never reveal that James Cameron is part of a huge global conspiracy. Tom: Yeah, or that he subscribes to "Redbook" and "Better Homes and Gardens". Crow: Or that he secretly writes Ranma 1/2-Babylon 5 crossover fanfiction stories in his spare time. All: Really! > If > you are not the addressee indicated in this message (or responsible for > delivery of the message to such person), you may not copy or deliver this > message to anyone. In such case, you should destroy this message, and > notify us immediately. Crow: And if you spontaneously combust, please don't write another conspiracy theory about it > > --------- > > On the contact page the address for Lightstorm Entertainment is already > listed. If DeBecker is worried that someone has Cameron's address, then > millions of people already have it from my website All: D'OH!!! Tom: Well, so much for culpable deniability. > from all of the > downloads of the Terminator 3 screenplay over the last two years and > millions of others already have it from finding it on celebrity address > sites before I even began the Terminator 3 websites. Crow: [Author] Since I've already spread it around, it's my right keep doing so! Nyah! > Therefore the address > is already "public domain information". So it's many years way too late to > change this fact. Mike: This guy just loves opening all sorts of legal issues, doesn't he? > > The letter goes on to say that the Malibu address be removed. Tom: Did you have to learn the Malibu Address in school, Mike? Mike: Yeah. It started out, "Four score and, like, seven gnarly waves ago". > Since > when does a security consulting firm have the right to dictate what > kind of address is on someone elses website, especially when it's already > "public domain information"? Crow: Because I said so! > > Now if Mr. DeBecker or his associates are trying to intimidate this website > into silence with some sort of Gestapo tactics, Tom: [Graham Chapman as "Mr. Bimmler"] Nein! Vas not head of Geshtapo! > it looks like they don't > believe in the Constitution or Freedom of the Press. Mike: I seem to recall their being a section of "Right to Privacy" somewhere as well, but then again, it could've just said "Right to Piracy". Tom: Arrr, matey! > But is it really > DeBecker and his associates behind this or could it be that Cameron is now > working on a Terminator 3 script and he somehow "feels" threatened by the > presence of this website on the Internet because of the Terminator 3 > script? Tom: Yeah, it's on his "threat" list, right between "Old Man Carruthers dumping his grass clippings in my yard" and "Alien Mason conspirators are stealing my luggage". > > No. Cameron would not feel threatened by this website because Daniel Perez, > the writer of the online T3 script only wishes to keep the torch lit on the > Terminator films until Cameron carries it again. Crow: [JFK] The toach has been pahssed to a new generation of Terminatahs! Tom: At least he hasn't come up with the Arnold Schwarzenegger Conspiracy Theory. Mike: Don't give him any ideas, Tom. > It's also not likely that > Cameron would feel threatened by an address posted on the internet that's > already been accessed by millions before it was even posted on the > Terminator 3 websites. Cameron lives in a community that already has the > best security and security systems in the world to keep out even the > nuttiest stalkers and psychologically disturbed individuals. Tom: Or even people who are convinced he's a linchpin in a worldwide conspiracy to, uh, *ahem*! [All whistle innocently] > He has > hundreds of millions of dollars he made from TITANIC to buy state of the > art security. Mike: He just has Jessica Alba stand vigilantly on his roof. Tom: That's not a very good security system. Crow: I don't think it has anything to do with security, Servo. *grrrrrwl!* > > Therefore this whole issue about an address being posted on the internet is > a completely moot point. Something doesn't add up here on the surface > because there's something else lurking deeper in the undercurrents of the > abyss. Mike: It's Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, necking like crazy! > > The real reason may very well be the alternative information on this > website which exposes the real machinations of the > Military/Industrial/Hollywood complex Tom: Translation - they're making another Tom Clancy movie. Crow: Once again, we slip into the psychosis and paranoia of Cameron-land. > and the manipulation of Mr. Cameron > throughout his career by a faction of Freemasonry called the Sons of > Belial. Maybe Cameron is being coerced into making this move because the > information on this website is getting too close to the truth in a > real-life version of the X-Files? Mike: Guys, I think we just hit the key area in this whole guy's mental landscape. An X-Files nut! FINALLY, SOMETHING MAKES SENSE! > Is this why DeBecker and his associates > are being used to intimidate the author of this website? Here's the links > to the information; Crow: Which will come as soon as I find the colon key. > > The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory All: Been there, done that, lost my virginity. > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/jcct1.html Crow: I remember that one - that was the good old days, huh guys? Tom: Yeah, just us and James Cameron. Mike: And the Masons, and the dentists. Tom: And don't forget the lip gloss. Crow: Ahhh, the lip gloss! > > James Cameron 33rd Degree Mason All: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/jc33msn.html Mike: This theory was sponsored by Microsoft Network. > > James Cameron, Mars & 33 Degrees All: Been there, done that, had the operation. > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/jcmars33.html Crow: Didn't we just see that? Tom: Kind of a weak flashback. > > Washington: District of Cydonia Crow: Boy, they really *are* out of touch with the public. > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/dcmars.html Mike: There's a new one... > > The JFK Celestial Conspiracy > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/kndyassn.html Crow: [Quiet voice] Oh no... > > StarWars Episode 19.5 The Phantom Symbolism > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/starwars.html Tom: [Quiet voice] Oh god no... > > Leonardo DiCaprio a Freemason? > http://www.terminator3armageddon.com/conspira/leofrmsn.html Crow: Mike, I'm scared! Mike: Shhh, it'll be okay, Crow. Pearl can't send us all of these things at once. > > The information on this website has obviously ticked off Crow: A guy and a couple of robots on a satellite? > someone within the Military/Industrial/Hollywood complex Tom: Can't get more complex than that. > for exposing the reality of it's machinations. Anyone who reads the > information contained in the links listed above will be taking the symbolic > red pill in order to "tumble down the rabbit hole" like Keanu Reeves in > "The Matrix". Mike: Eww! I'm gonna wake up nude and bald in a puddle of goo! Crow: Again? > Now that that this website has mentioned Keanu Reeves, it > wouldn't be suprising that Mr. DeBecker[maybe a Matrix agent? :-) ] Mike: Oooh, how clever, he made a little joke and topped it off with a smiley! > and his > associates will try to claim that this website supposedly a threat to Mr. > Reeves as well. Another quote from The Matrix, which is a very deep > symbolic allegory in itself, becomes appropiate as we move on; All: "Whoa!" > "Buckle your > seat belt Dorthy because Kansas is going bye-bye". Tom: Which originally was scripted as "All your base are belong to us." > You are now going to > unplug from the real-life Matrix called the Military/Industrial/Hollywood > complex. Mike: Buckle your seat belts, guys. Logic is going bye-bye. > > Now what could have really precipitated this current chain of > events? It may have begun when Daniel Perez went to the website of > the Mars Society and read the speech given by Mr. Cameron. Tom: [Perez, reading] "I'm - king - of - the - world - woo." > Perez had > E-mailed the contact address at the Mars Society to ask about Cameron's > upcoming films about Mars and if the films would contain information > regarding the anomalous objects located at Cydonia, most notably "The Face" > and "the structures". Here is the conversation with the Mars Society > contact; Crow: Printed with their permission, I'm sure. > > ----------------- > > QUESTIONS TO THE MARS SOCIETY > --------------------- Tom: [Narrator] Dear Mars Society. Is there really a conspiracy? C'mon, you can tell me! I won't print it on my website or anything, honest! Crow: [Narrator] Dear Mars Society. What's Vietnam? Love, D. Perez Mike: [Narrator] Dear Mars Society. I counted ten conspiracies in the last James Cameron speech. I hope this is enough to win me the grand prize trip to Cydonia. > Subject: James Camerons Mars Film > Date: Thu, 02 Sep 1999 05:49:33 -0400 > From: Daniel Perez Mike: Yeah, displaying obsessive fanboyishness is a sure way to get these Hollywood types to take you seriously. > Organization: http://www.terminator3armageddon.com > To: in...@marssociety.org > > Is there a way to ask Mr. Cameron if his Mars films will cover the area > of Cydonia, including the anomalous objects that are there(the face and > "city")? Crow: "Face and the City" - The story of the four sexy women, living in New York with Robert Z'Dar! > > Yours truly, > > > > Daniel Perez > --------------------- > MARS SOCIETY CONTACT ANSWER > --------------------- Tom: [Society] ALL WILL KNEEL BEFORE KODOS AND KANG, THE NEW EMPERORS OF EARTH. > From: Mzu...@aol.com > Message-ID: <8b646ec2...@aol.com> > Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 09:58:59 EDT > Subject: Re: James Camerons Mars Film > To: t3arma...@usa.net > MIME-Version: 1.0 Crow: That's where the mime just stands there and stares at you. > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > X-Mailer: AOL 4.0 for Windows 95 sub 14 > > It is my impression that Mr. Cameron's films will be serious and > scientifically accurate. [All guffaw] Tom: Since when? Crow: That one statement is more science fictional than "Abyss" and "Terminator" put together! > I doubt that he would be interested in discussing > the specific scenarios. > > MZ > ------------------- > > DANIEL'S RESPONSE > --------------- Crow: Here we go . . . I say he pulls a rabbit out if it. > Interesting. Is this your personal opinion or the view of the Mars society > as a whole? Are you familiar with the work of Richard C. Hoagland regarding > the anomalies at Cydonia? Tom: Mike, he's doing it again! Mike: I know, wandering off the brazen path . . . Crow: [Perez] If I keep repeating it over and over, I can *make* them believe it! > > Yours truly, > > > > Daniel Perez > ----------------- > MARS SOCIETY CONTACT RESPONSE > ----------------- Crow: *sigh* Geez, is this what it's come to? Reduced to reading someone else's E-Mail correspondence? > Received: from imo-d03.mx.aol.com [205.188.157.35] by mx05 via mtad (2.6) > with ESMTP id 628Dicoe80101M05; Fri, 03 Sep 1999 14:04:59 GMT > Received: from Mzu...@aol.com by imo-d03.mx.aol.com (mail_out_v22.4.) id > xHDHVgGgu_ (3924) for ; Fri, 3 Sep 1999 10:04:54 > -0400 (EDT) > From: Mzu...@aol.com Mike: Mzubrin - for your lifestyle. Ask your doctor about it today. > Message-ID: > Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 10:04:54 EDT > Subject: Re: [Re: James Camerons Mars Film] > To: t3arma...@usa.net > MIME-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > X-Mailer: AOL 4.0 for Windows 95 sub 14 Tom: o/` We all live in a Windows Subroutine, a Windows Subroutine, a Windows Subroutine... o/` > > We are not personally affiliated with Mr. Hoagland, however, we stick to > our own field. Tom: And thanks to Spike Lee, every director in Hollywood gets 40 Acres and a Mule. > We are also not in a position to divulge any details of Mr. > Cameron's films which he may have shared with us confidentially. > > MZ Crow: Hammer? Mike: I doubt it. > -------------- > DANIEL'S RESPONSE > -------------- > >Mzu...@aol.com wrote: > >We are not personally affiliated with Mr. Hoagland, however, we stick to > >>our own field. > > I never said you were affiliated with him. I simply asked if the Mars > Society is aware of his work. Mike: And they said they "stick to their own field". > > >We are also not in a position to divulge any details of Mr. > >Cameron's films which he may have shared with us confidentially. > > I never asked for details about Cameron's work. Crow: Well, except for the part where he asked him about details of his upcoming movie. Tom: Geez, Crow - picky picky picky! > All I asked about was the > position of the Mars Society on the anomalies at Cydonia and whether your > last response was your personal relfection or representative of the Mars > Society as a whole. Mike: [Perez] Or if the Masons *made* you say it! Well, did they? DID THEY?!? > > ----------------------------------- > > What can be interpreted from this exchange with the Mars Society contact is > the following; Tom: "Bing me the Martian Fish of your brother Raul". > whenever somebody asks a person connected to the Scientific > establishment about the anomalies at Cydonia or the existence of > extra-terrestrial life, the replys are always the same; > > THEY CHANGE THE SUBJECT !!! Crow: And of course, this guy would *never* do that! Mike: Tell that to my chiropractor. All of his subject-changing has given me killer whiplash! > > There is one person that's very much aware of this tactic. Mike: And that person is Allison Janney, TV's "CJ" from "The West Wing". > Richard. > C. Hoagland of the Enterprise Mission has encountered this numerous > times during investigations into the inner machinations of NASA. Tom: [Narrator] This became evident when NASA kept calling Hoagland a moron. > Hoagland > has found over the course of several years that during NASA missions, there > is amost always a set of celestial alignments honoring Ancient Egyptian > gods as part of a symbolic ritual. Crow: Which explains why all those pictures of Amon-Thoth are painted on the sides of the space shuttle. > Not only does this ritual play a part in > NASA missions but they are also tied into major historical events as well > as shown on the Table of Concidence on the Enterprise Mission website and > in the JFK Celestial Conspiracy Page. Crow: The "Table of Coincidence"? Tom: Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Booth shot in a theater and hid under a coffee table, while Oswald shot from a warehouse and hid under a solid oak dining table. > > This same ritual symbolism was present when James Cameron gave his speech > to the Mars Society on August 14th, 1999 at 10:20 AM Mountian Daylight > Time(16:20 Hrs UTC) Mike: Unlikely Table of Coincidences? Tom: Hey, anagrams are my gimmick, Mike! Mike: Well, you haven't done any through this entire thing. Tom: I'm too horrified to do much of anything except riff right now. > at the University of Colorado in Boulder. Mr. Perez had > used the astronomy program called RedShift 3 and found the following set of > celestial alignments. Mike: Betelgeuse signs treaty of Tycho! Crow: Tattooine endorses Powell as Secretary of State! Tom: Vulcan Marching Band forms words LIVE LONG AND PROSPER! BEAT BAJOR! > > The rest of the page regarding Cameron's speech shows alignments which took > place at Cydonia and the Face on Mars, two areas that Cameron had > indirectly dismissed in his Mars Society speech. [Pause] Crow: Um, okay... Mike: It must be too secret for us to be exposed to. Tom: [Narrator] Or maybe he could've been dismissing "Point Break", I wasn't sure. > > There was only one reason why Cameron dismissed these anomalies on Mars; he > is once again being manipulated by the Sons of Belial Faction of > Freemasonry. Mike: You know, Cameron has got to stop being such a wussy boy. Crow: Yeah, all these covert organizations keep trying to manipulate him. Why can't they pick a different director to screw with for more variety? > Could it be that this same faction could be trying to silence > the truth on this website? There would need to be a way to prove it and > that proof is the timing of the E-mail message from Gavin DeBeckers > Investigative Agency. Crow: [Author] It arrived *before* I wrote this! See?!? See?!? > > -------------------- > > Received: from outmail2.pacificnet.net [207.171.0.151] by mx05 via mtad > (2.6) with ESMTP id 681DJDPoo0075M05; Mon, 04 Oct 1999 15:14:14 GMT > Received: from cal (pm3c-8.pacificnet.net [207.171.18.105]) by > outmail2.pacificnet.net (8.9.3/8.9.3) with SMTP id XAA13489 for > ; Mon, 4 Oct 1999 23:17:40 -0700 Crow: I hear if you play this part backward, it says Paul is dead. > Message-ID: <001f01bf0e7b$f3264100$5a6509c0@cal> > From: "Ryan Ross" > To: > Subject: Celebrity Addresses Crow: Oooh, the conspiracy! Tom: Oooh, the intrigue! Mike: Oooh, my stomach! > Date: Mon, 4 Oct 1999 08:20:07 -0700 > MIME-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: multipart/alternative; > boundary="----=_NextPart_000_001C_01BF0E41.446CB020" > X-Priority: 3 > X-MSMail-Priority: Normal > X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.2106.4 > X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.2106.4 > > --------------------- Mike: Well, that was helpful. Crow: Yes I understand much more clearly now. Tom: You do? Crow: Yes. I understand what CRAP is! > > As you can see from the Date Heading on the E-mail message, it was sent at > 8:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time or 15:20 Universal Time on October 4th, 1999. Tom: [sputtering indignantly] Well, why did you quote the rest of the header then? In what bizarro world is that considered necessary! Crow: So why *does* this guy hate us, Mike? Mike: Maybe he thinks we're Masons. > At the time the E-mail was sent from DeBecker's offices in Los Angeles, > California, there was peculiar alignment. Crow: [muttering] There's something else peculiar here, too! Mike: I'm sure Mr. DeBecker was carefully watching the alignment of the stars while he pressed the "Send" button. > > The star known as EQ Pegasi was located at 19.5 Degrees below the NorthWest > Horizon while Comet Encke Mike: [Jimmy Durante] En-cke-Dinka-Dee, a dinka-doo, a dinka-dee! > was located at 39 Degrees(19.5 *2) below the same > horizon. The constellation Pegasus represents the mythical winged horse by > the same name. In ancient cultures, Pegasus symbolizes Death. Crow: In others, it merely represents the threat of falling horse poop. > 19.5 Degrees > is the most important number in Hyperdimensional Physics. Comet Encke, the > lead object of the Taurid Meteor stream, with an orbital period of 3.3 > years(symbolic of the Masonic 33 degrees) is a harbinger of change and is > an important part of the Ancient Egyptian/Masonic symbolism tied into NASA > missions and other events. Tom: [Narrator] As well as the Shriner's BBQ chicken cook-out! > The alignment also took place under the Western > Horizon and in ancient cultures such as the Egyptians, West symbolized > death. Tom: Roy Rogers - Angel of Death! Mike: Gee, all this talk of death has made me really depressed, let's get out of here, guys. [Mike picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater.] [@...%6%...^5^...&4&...#3#...~2~...!1!...*] [A computer is sitting on the desk, with Crow at it, typing away as best he can.] Crow: [Narrating as he types] "And in conclusion, Mr. Perez, you need to leave poor Mr. Cameron alone. Sure, he's made numerous horrible movie blunders, like "Point Break" and "The Abyss", but isn't there a better director to take aim at? Next time, try Roman Polanski - or Joel Schumacher. I hear they're trying to take over the world by reinventing the wheel! Sincerely, Crow T. Robot." [Moving his arm] Okay, now to hit the "Send" button. Jimmy: [Off screen] WAIT! Crow: What the - what do you guys want? [CF - Everyone's sitting at the table, chowing down on the feast. Jimmy's staring at the camera, BBQ sauce all over his mouth.] Jimmy: You can't send that yet! Cydonia isn't at 19.5 degrees above the horizon yet, and it could mean total disaster! You need to wait a few minutes, so Encke aligns with Pegasus. Mark: Yeah, and make sure you don't send it three minutes later either, that's when Uranus is at it's highest peak and Pluto is at it's lowest. I remember my cousin Joey once sent a letter to his mom at that moment and boom, Clinton was elected. Will: That's nothing! I knew a guy who went on a date while Mars aligned with Venus. Kev: [does spit take] What?!? The FOOL! Will: I know, I know, but he was young and he wouldn't listen. Jimmy: So what happened to him? Will: *sigh* He - he wound up married to her with three kids living in a trailer somewhere in New Jersey. [All shudder] Kev: Yeah, and don't forget that Leo was in the lower house of Jupiter when Captain Janeway took the ship... Mark: [heatedly] Look, will you just forget that! Kev: But... Mark: But, nothing! We don't have time to indulge your little "Star Trek" fantasies any more! Will: He's right, Kev, it just makes us look silly. [All nod, their fez tassles bobbling] [SoL] Crow: Yyyyyyeah. Look, this is all slightly interesting and all, but... [CF] Will: Don't ya see what we're trying to say?!? [SoL] Crow: Ummmmmmm - no, not really. [CF] Jimmy: We're trying to warn you - be very careful when you send that message! It could mean a world of hurt if you don't do it at the right time! Pat: [Mouth full] Hey guys - we gonna talk about stuff we don't understand, or are we gonna scarf some barbeque? [Pause] All: [variously] Yeah, you're right - pass the hot sauce - don't bogart that cole slaw - get the ancient powers aligned with this potato salad! [Everyone turns back to their food and begins eating again.] [SoL] Crow: Huh. Ah, who believes that hooey anyway? [Crow moves the mouse and clicks] There, sent! [Lights flash, alarms, etc.] Crow: OH NO, THEY WERE RIGHT!!!! WE GOT CAMERON CONSPIRACY SIGN!! Jim: [Offscreen] I warned you! Path: archiver1.google.com!newsfeed.google.com!sn-xit-02!sn-xit-03!supernews.com!newsfeed.wirehub.nl!feed2.onemain.com!feed1.onemain.com!uunet!dca.uu.net!ralph.vnet.net!not-for-mail From: Roland Warner Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Subject: MiSTed: James Cameron A Go-Go (3/3) Organization: Hobgoblins Inc. Message-ID: X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 721 Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:18:03 -0400 NNTP-Posting-Host: 166.82.29.53 X-Trace: ralph.vnet.net 994321047 166.82.29.53 (Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:27 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001 04:17:27 EDT Xref: archiver1.google.com rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc:35153 [@...%6%...^5^...&4&...#3#...~2~...!1!...*] [Mike and Tom are seated in the theater as Crow enters.] Crow: Those Freemasons sure are touchy. Tom: No kidding, I once tried to join, but they told me robots weren't allowed! Crow: Boy it's all about who ya know! Tom: Yeah, tell me about it! > > On the surface the Death & Change symbolism Crow: I think the author's suddenly pulled out his Tarot cards. > tied into the celestial > alignment as seen from Gavin DeBecker's offices in Los Angeles Mike: Oh, he must have gotten the corner office, then. > revealed that this attempt by the Sons of Belial Faction of Freemasonry to > intimidate this website into silence would completely and utterly fail. Tom: Someone's developed an ego suddenly! Crow: Hey guys, does this count as a self-insertion now? Mike: More like Paranoia. > But > there was something more. Why was EQ Pegasi at the hyperdimensional 19.5 > Degrees? Tom: To get to the other side? > Because EQ Pegasi was a big part of this Ancient Egyptian/Masonic > ritual symbolism when an extra-terrestrial probe landed at Turret Peak in > Arizona on December 7th, 1998. Crow: Right up Farmer Murray's ass. > > On that day in December of 1998, Crow: A date which will live... [pauses] Nah. Too easy. > a very bizzare snowstorm had moved > across the American Southwest and completely surrounded Turret > Peak. Crow: Soon, Sheriff Truman and Agent Cooper were covered in fluffy white stuff. Tom: *Turret* Peak, not *Twin* Peaks! > It turned out that this snowstorm had been deliberately enginnered by > the High Altitude Auroral Research Project(HAARP) Mike: Run by HAARPO - the sinister, Masonic Marx brother. > for the purpose of > covering up contact with an extra-terrestrial intelligence by the > Military/Industrial/Hollywood complex. Tom: This is gonna turn into a "Men In Black" sequel any second. Mike: I dunno, sounds more like the plotline to "The Avengers" movie to me. > > The entire saga began with a breaking news story regarding a doppler > shifting signal from the direction of the star called EQ Pegasi on October > 29th, 1998. Tom: Two days later, the author went out trick or treating dressed in his tinfoil suit and hat. > A British radio astronomer named Paul Dore had discovered this > signal and had made it public. Crow: His DJ Club UltraMega House Mix version wowed them on the dance floor > Fairly soon after he went public he > immediately renounced the existence of the signal and in a bizzare series > of events, Tom: ...Katherine Harris awarded him Florida's electoral votes. > Dore had written a symbolically coded note admitting he was a > total fraud Crow: At least he has the guts to admit when he's making something up. > and had made bizzare references to the "weather" which we will > see manifesting later. Crow: He's right, guys! Weather *does* exist. Mike: Sure it does, Crow. Crow: No, really! I saw it in the Enquirer! > > Earlier that same day when the EQ Pegasi story broke, a > historic NASA mission was launched at Cape Canaveral. Mike: A plot to shoot a man up into space and force him to watch boring space launches. > Senator John Glenn, who had been the first American in orbit during the > Friendship Mercury 7 mission, became the oldest person to be sent into > space. Crow: Immediately, everyone put on their ape suits and proceeded to bury the Statue of Liberty up to her neck. > According to the research on the Enterprise Mission website and from > other sources, John Glenn is a 33rd Degree Mason. Tom: Why am I not surprised? Mike: At this point, I think everyone in the universe *except* us belongs to the Masons. > > According to an article on James Cameron in the March 1999 issue of > Premiere Magazine, which included a two page picture of him in front of a > starry background and dressed up like a Master Mason in a Masonic Lodge, Tom: It's the adventures of... MASTER MASON! Crow: CONSPIRACY! Tom: BRILLIANT!! Crow: THANK YOU!!! > Cameron said he was present at the shuttle launch carrying Glenn into > space. It would obviously be a Masonic duty and honor for Cameron to be at > the Cape to cheer on a fellow 33rd Degree Mason like Glenn. Mike: Wearing his beer-hat and holding a "GLENN" flag. > According to > WCCO in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota, Leonardo DiCaprio was present at > the launch. Mike: WCCO - Minneapolis's Leonardo DiCaprio information station! > DiCaprio is also a Freemason and admitted his membership in the > fraternity during an interview for the German television network RTL in > Janurary of 1998. Crow: His initiation included wearing lip gloss for the interview. > > The shuttle Discovery finally launched at 2:19 PM EST on October 29th, 1998 > and the following alignment relating to Pegasus was found; Mike: It was right above them, and Discovery smashed into it head-on. Tom: At least they didn't damage the Hubble, huh? Mike: Yeah, that would have - hey! [Bots giggle] > the > constellation of Pegasus was on the Eastern horizon when John Glenn went > into space. Tom: You know when Walt Disney World was first opened, Pluto was at it's highest peak in the sky! Mike: Really? Tom: Sure! I said it, so it must be true! > > Pegasus symbolism was becoming a recurrent theme in NASA missions during > the EQ Pegasi saga. Tom: JPL started cloning winged horses, all the shuttles switched over to using Mobil gas - it was something else. > By the time the extra-terrestrial probe from the > direction of EQ Pegasi had reached Turret Peak on December 7th, 1998 > several bizzare events were taking place. Crow: Wouldn't an extra-terrestrial probe of death be bizarre enough? > > At 2:37 AM Mountian Standard Time on December 7th, an Electro-Magnetic > Pulse(EMP) had occured at Turret Peak which was registered on EMP > equipment. An strong EMP pulse like the one recorded is an obvious > signature of an electro-gravitic spacecraft. Crow: Yeah, they're all over the place these days. > This signal had coincided with > the peak of the snowstorm which was surrounding Turret Peak in a large > doughnut shape and rotating around it. Mike: As a result, cops from a six-state area were mysteriously drawn to it. Tom: Hey, we signed a treaty to stop doing cop-doughnut jokes! Mike: Sorry, that was the other guy - I'm under no obligation. > This brings to mind the symbolism > that Turret Peak was "a turret" for this snowstorm to rotate itself around > it. The evidence that this storm was at it's peak was the Ionograph data > from the HAARP website discovered by Daniel Perez that was forwared to Mike > Bara of Lunaranomalies.com and then forwarded to Richard C. Hoagland. Crow: Who both dismissed his e-mail because Perez had pressed the send button while the EQ Pegasus was in the 19.5 degrees position above the feces constellation. > > The pulse even had it's own alignment. Mike: Well, of course it did! Crow: Everything else does - no reason for the pulse to be left out. > Comet Encke, the Ancient > Egyptian/Masonic harbinger of change was located at 33 Degrees and 33 > Minutes above the SouthWest Horizon as seen from Turret Peak. Tom: Bottom line? It was cold *and* it was late! > > It was obvious that the bizzare HAARP generated snowstorm was used as a > DIVERSION to cover-up the arrival and existence of extra-terrestrial life. Mike: That or to get a really excellent powder base for some skiing. > All of these symbolic connections bring us back to EQ Pegasi being located > at 19.5 Degrees below the NorthWest horizon as seen from Los Angeles during > the sending of the E-mail from Gavin Debecker's investigators. Tom: Who knew that so much conspiracy could be pulled from the simple click of the "Send" button? > > The issue over Cameron's address is being used as a DIVERSION by the Sons > of Belial Faction of Freemasonry for the sole purpose of trying to elimate > the truth on this website and cover up the existence of extra-terrestrial > life. Mike: I still don't see how changing one lousy little address invalidates his whole web site. Tom: Well, once you admit you're even the eensiest bit wrong, the whole thing unravels like a cheap sweater. > > The celestial alignment at DeBecker's offices wasn't only one during the > sending of the E-mail. Crow: This posting is sponsored by the Society of Aligning Things with Other Things > There were alignments at the Apollo 11 landing site > on the Moon with Sirius at 33 Degrees below the SouthEast horizon and at > the Viking 2 Landing site on Mars with Alnitak on the SouthWest Horizon. > Both of these sites are considered within the Ancient Egyptian/Masonic > ritual symbolism as "celestial temples". Mike: Maybe it's just me, but it seems that any conspiracy that relies this heavily on how various minor celestial bodies line up is just wasting a lot of time. Tom: Yeah, the hours they use calculating where Rigel and Antares are in relation to the set of "Voyager" could be more fruitfully used undermining democracy or something. > > And bringing us back to the area of Turret Peak and Phoenix, Arizona there > was another alignment. [All groan] > Alnilam was located at 33 Degrees above the Western > Horizon. Crow: "Alnilam"? What the frell is "Alnilam"? Mike: Well, it's "Malinla" spelled backwards. Tom: And it's an anagram of "A Man, Ill". > > Phoenix, Arizona is an Earthly Temple for this Ancient > Egyptian/Masonic symbolism. Tom: By the time he got to Phoenix, we were snoring! > On March 13th, 1997, Phoenix became the > location of the "Phoenix Lights" event that was witnessed by millions of > people. Mike: Well, that makes sense. Bots: It *does*?!? Mike: Sure. I mean, having the "Phoenix Lights" over, say, Boise or Cleveland would just be silly. > Art Bell, the host of Coast to Coast AM and Dreamland was the only > media personality to cover the event that night. Mike: From Richard Hoagland to Art Bell, this guy really knows how to pick his conspiracy nutcases. > No one else in the media > would touch the subject until about three months later. Tom: No one else was that bored. Crow: Or that silly. > By then the lights > were dismissed in the media and by the govenment as flares as part of a > convienent cover story. When this extra-terrestrial event was taking place, > James Cameron was being initiated as a 32nd Degree Mason in the Masonic > lodge in downtown Phoenix. Cameron had taken time off from shooting > "Titanic" in Mexico in order to complete his Scottish Rite Degrees. Tom: He immediately donned a tartan and starting screaming about Dilithium Crystals. Crow: Unfortunately he had left Leo and Kate locked in the water tank. > > During this intiation, Cameron had learned of an impending > catastrophic event which would change the future of the world. > During the Academy Awards Ceremony at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles > on March 23rd, 1998, Cameron had symbolically told of this impending event > in his acceptance speech for "Titanic's" best picture Oscar by saying Mike: "Hasta La Vista, Baby." > "the > unthinkable can happen, the future is unknowable, and the only thing we > truly own is today and that life is precious". Tom: This sounds awfully familiar... Mike: The author's back-tracking to previous rants. It happens when the runs out of things to make up. > > A future global cataclysm, whether it's an impact from space by a comet or > asteroid which is rumored to take place on November 7th, 1999, Crow: Hey, did that happen? Mike: I don't think so. If it had, we'd have heard about it. Tom: You didn't see it in the papers? Mike: Well, not in the funnies or "Dear Abby", no. > a solar > flare or some other massive earth change could very well bring about Full > Disclosure when there is extra-terrestrial intervention to stop the > destruction. Crow: [Alien] I will implement Plan 9 immediately! > > CONCLUSION Tom: Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it, pal! > > This chain of events leading to the use of Gavin DeBecker's Investigative > Resources against this website by the Sons of Belial faction of Freemasonry > shows that the information on this website is exposing the following > truths; Crow: None. Thank you. G'night, folks, you've been a wonderful audience! > > 1. The Progenitors of the Human Race are Extra-terrestrials known > as the Anunnaki as pointed out by the work of Zecharia Sitchin in > the "Earth Chronicles" series of books. Crow: Soon to be a major NBC Miniseries. > This knowledge is the ultimate > secret known and passed down through various secret societies ranging from > the ancient Sumerians, Egyptians, Greek and Roman Gnostics, the Muslim > Assassins, the Knights Templar and the Freemasons as outlined in the JFK > Celestial Conspiracy page. Tom: Well, it *was* a secret - until *someone* pasted it all over their website! Crow: Yeah, thanks for ruining the surprise for us, ya dink! Sheesh! Mike: It seems like everyone knew about it except us. > If you still doubt this, look at the story on > MSNBC confirming the existence of the rogue planet Mike: It's the Planet of the Anna Paquins! Tom: Woohoo! Set course and engage! > (in a cometary orbit) > known as NIBIRU Tom: "Newly Irritating Beliefs Including Reduced Unknowns" > (according to ancient Sumerian texts decoded by Zecharia > Sitchin) which is the home of the Annunaki. [All gasp in awe.] Crow: Mike, did he just try to verify something he claimed with reference material that he didn't write himself and actually seems like a reputable source? Mike: I know, Crow. It's shocking. Unfortunately, it's also too late for him to regain any possible credit he could've had at the beginning. > > 2. The Ancient Egyptian/Masonic/EQ Pegasi symbolism tied into the E-mail > from DeBeckers investigative agency shows that there is a deliberate > attempt by the Sons of Belial Faction of Freemasonry to cover-up all > information regarding the existence of extra-terrestrial life.1 Tom: Don't forget, they're trying to cover up the colonel's secret chicken recipe as well! > > 3. That Cameron is being coerced into taking this action by the Sons of > Belial faction of Freemasonry who control the Military/Industrial/Hollywood > complex. This complex is the Matrix of an artificial reality Mike: [Keanu] Whoa, dude. Like, go over the pill thing one more time, 'kay? > that's force > fed to the people of the world via radio, newspapers, magazines, > television, motion pictures, music, computer games and the Internet. Crow: Not to mention the backs of cereal boxes... Mike: Penny Dreadfuls... Tom: "Beetle Bailey"... Mike: Specially Marked Packages of "Fritos"(c)... Tom: Kabuki Theater... Crow: Semaphore Code... > > All of this began when when Daniel Perez asked questions about James > Cameron's involvement in Freemasonry and about anomalous objects like the > "Face on Mars" at Cydonia. Crow: Tune in next time when Daniel screws up our life even worse by writing Stephen Ratliff and asking questions about the whole Marrissa deal! > Of course there will be those out there on the > Internet and in the press who will go out of their way to libel this > website as "Dangerous", "psychologically unstable", "unbalanced", and other > ridiculous nonsense [All Huddle] Crow: So whaddaya think? "Dangerous"? Tom: Unlikely. "Psychologically unstable"? Mike: Mmmm, no, just because he has some odd ideas doesn't make him nutsy. Same for "unbalanced". Crow: Well then, how about "other ridiculous nonsense"? Mike: Yeah, I think so. Tom? Tom: Sounds right to me. Crow: Okay, let's go with it then. [All break huddle] > deliberately and purposely engineered for one specific > goal, to destroy the truth. This website will continue to "connect the > dots" Mike: Revealing a ducky, a pony, and James Cameron on a choo-choo train. > (as Richard Hoagland has said many times on Art Bell's show) until > the day of Full Disclosure and beyond. Tom: Full Disclosure? So this is all related to campaign finance reform? Crow: Sure. John McCain's from Arizona, home of the Pheonix Lights, so naturally... [Mike clamps his beak shut] Mike: I thought we made a pact about giving authors dangerous new ideas. > > The X-Files Movie had a great tagline that explains this series of events; Tom: "As confusing as the TV show, but with a bigger budget"! > "Behind every lie is a conspiracy, behind every conspiracy is the truth". Crow: Unfortunately, the X-Files movie is science fiction, where this thing belongs. > > FULL DISCLOSURE IS NEAR Mike: [Narrator] I WILL TAKE OFF MY PANTS SOON. > > BACK TO THE CONSPIRACY PAGE Mike: Look out guys, FULL DISCLOSURE IS RIGHT BEHIND US!! All: AHHHHHH! [Mike and Crow run out of the theater.] Tom: AHHH! [looks around] Um, guys? Anyone? Hello? [Mike looks back in the room.] Tom: Mike, a little help here? Mike: Shh, Tom. Is it here? Tom: The Full Disclosure thing? I haven't seen it any-AHH! [Tom gets sucked down into his seat.] Mike: Tom? Compadre? Where'd you go? [Mike walks over to Tom's seat and waves his hand over it.] Mike: There's some kind of cool air here, almost-AHH! [Mike gets sucked down into the seat as well. [@...%6%...^5^...&4&...#3#...~2~...!1!...*] [Crow enters alone from the right] Crow: So you see, Mike, once Daniel gets my e-mail, I'm sure he'll stop writing all these incredibly insane conspiracy theories! This time, I made sure I sent it at the right time, so he won't be able to pull any astronomical signs out of it. Well, at least I hope he won't be able to pull any out. What do you think? Mike? [Looks around] Uh, Mike? Servo? Where is everyone? [Sudden green lights and wavy mist starts to fill the satellite.] Crow: Um, guys, this isn't funny. [Nervously] I'm not kidding! Tom: [Offscreen] Croooooooooow! Mike: [OS] Crooooooooooow! Crow: Mike! Tom! Where are you guys? Tom: We've been taken by Full Disclosure! Everything makes sense now. Mike: All the conspiracy theories. Tom: All the James Cameron movies. Mike: All the plots to the X-Files. Tom: All the Blink 182 lyrics. Both: ALL THE LIP GLOSS! Crow: Um, guys, you're really spooking me out now, stop it! Come back, this isn't like you two at all! I'm lonely and scared and I want more Funder-eggs! Where'd you hide them, Mike? Mike: Come, join us! Full Disclosure will tell you everything you want to know. Crow: I don't wanna understand anything, I want Funder-eggs! [The Yellow Light starts flashing. Crow taps it with his beak.] Crow: Do any of you have Funder-eggs? [CF - The green lights and wavy mist have enveloped the Castle. The Freemasons are huddled together looking around nervously except for Pat, who's still sitting at the table. Bobo is enraptured by the TV.] Kev: It has come! Jimmy: The time of Full Disclosure is upon us! Mark: The understanding of what we have done has come! Pat: Hey guys, you haven't touched your dessert! It's a delicious strawb- Mark: Don't you understand? Will: The time of enlightenment has come! Jimmy: What hath we wrought? [Pearl and observer walk in] Pearl: A bunch of bull, if you ask me. I mean, come on, who seriously believes this... Booming Voice: [Offscreen] I do! Pearl: ...c-c-crap? Observer: No! It can't be! [Someone walks in wearing a flashy Freemason robe like the others, but with a hood, and with sparkles and glitter surrounding it.] Figure: That's right, it's me - [pulls back hood to reveal] *James Cameron!* Observer: Well, I was going to say Carol Channing, but you were my second guess. Cameron: Actually, I have a funny story about her, but now isn't the time! I've come to tell you the great secret of Freemasonry! [The Freemasons gasp in awe and rush towards him.] Will: [Shoving a book under his nose] Mr. Cameron! Can I have your autograph? My kids would love me forever if you gave me one! Pat: Hey, where's that five bucks you owe me for the "Cydonia" alignment bet? Mark: Hey Cameron, what's it like working with a fox like Jessica Alba? Cameron: Wait, hold on guys, don't you want to know the secret to Freemasonry and world domination and stuff? Kev: Well sure, but I mean- Cameron: Then I'll tell you. [All lean in excitedly] Cameron: The secret is.. Masons: Yes?! Cameron: *Is...* Masons: Yes?!?! Cameron: IS... Masons: Yes?!?!?! Yes?!?!?! Yes?!?!?! Cameron: That there's *no* secret! It's all a big farce! Masons: NO!!! Cameron: Yes! You don't need Masonryness to rule the world! All you need is cash! I earned enough from "Titanic" to buy the world itself! In fact, I'm closing a deal now that'll lead to me becoming the *real* king of the world! And my first decree is that Scorcese better keep his stupid mutt off my lawn! Pearl: [Walking towards Cameron] Wait, stop, time out here, Cameramadingy! *I'm* Queen of the World around here, bucko - [taps his chest with a finger, enunciating each syllable] and-don't-you-for-get-it! Cameron: I wouldn't be so hasty, whoever you are- Pearl: PEARL! Cameron: Whatever. Look, I'm wasting valuable Jessica Alba time here, but I felt I needed to set the record straight with you and your captives up there - which, by the way, I'm setting free! Pearl: What?!? Cameron: Yeah, I mean, you've shown them every stupid movie under the sun. Besides, Jessica wants a nice gumball machine. Pearl: Oh no you don't! Brainy - take care of Mr. Big Shot Movie Guy here! Observer: Whatever you say. [Brainmusic which dies as quickly as it starts] Observer: What the- Cameron: I wouldn't be so hasty, pasty. Thanks to all the HAARP technology, I'm immune to mind-controlling things! Observer: Uh, Pearl, I hate to point this out, but - I think we're done for. Cameron: That's right, your day is through! Nothing can - [Notices the TV] Hey, is that "Dunston Checks In"? I LOVE that movie! [rushes over and sits beside Bobo.] Bobo, pal, wanna hand me a brewski? Bobo: Anything for you! [tosses Cameron a cold one as the other Masons join him around the television.] Pearl: Brainy, quick, get to work nullifying that "Full Disclosure" thingy. God knows we don't need another "King of the World" speech. Observer: I'll get right on it. [*brainmusic*] [SoL - Crow, still alone, is surrounded by the voices of Tom and Mike.] Tom: So you see, when the author mentioned Cydonia, he was really talking about cyanide and- [Pop! Mike and Tom reappear in the SoL.] Crow: Servo! Mike! You're back! Mike: What - I - Crow?!? Tom: Wooh! You okay, Nelson Mike: Yeah, I, I guess so! Wow, that Full Disclosure thing was creepy. I'm kinda glad I can't really remember anything about it - it felt like my mind was turning into Jell-O. I had an urge to listen to Beatles albums and watch cheesy anime. Tom: Yeah, and for some reason, I felt strangely compelled to go spit things at Jessica Alba. Crow: Wow, that's scary! Well, it's good to have you two guys back! Tom: So how's it going with Pearl's party? Crow: Well, Cameron is taking over the world, but it looks like our only hope is Dinner and a Monkey. Mike: Wow, that thing really backfired on her. Let's check it out! [CF - Pearl is standing there looking smug in her usual Pearl way. Observer looks a little wasted.] Pearl: Put your tiny little mind at ease, Nelson. As unlikely as it sounds, *I* have saved the day! Observer: [exhaustedly] Y-y-*you* saved the - I almost busted my brainpan breaking through that blasted HAARP programming and - Pearl: That's a fair point - so SHUT UP!! [To Mike] Anyway, I don't think Jimmy C and the Meso-Americans will be giving us any more trouble. Behold. [They step aside to reveal that Brain Guy has now managed to turn Cameron and the Freemasons into Packer fans, complete with flannel and cheeseheads.] Cameron: C'mon guys! Let's party! Pat: Go Packers! Will & Mark: WOO! Pearl: Yes, woo. Now, out with you - go on, go out into the world and fill it full of zany conspiracy theories! Shoo! Shoo! [Pearl ushers them all out to various cries of "PACKERS!! WOOO!!!"] Bobo: Awwww! And we were having such a good time. Pearl: Don't worry, Bobo, you can always join another super-secret group, like the Elks, or the Mossad, or the, the AFL-CIO or something. I'm sure they'd be glad to have you. Bobo: Really, Lawgiver? Pearl: No. [turns to the camera] Mike, I've come to a decision. No more James Cameron Conspiracy Theories. Ever. Period. I promise. [SoL - Mike & the bots are just staring at Pearl. Their expression fairly screams "Yeah, right"] [CF] Pearl: I know, I know, I've made promises before - but this time, I'm keeping my word. [SoL - More staring] [CF] Pearl: No, really - look, it's just too threatening to my own world domination plans. Then again, there *are* other conspiracy theories on that page *besides* all that Cameron stuff. [Pearl tilts her head and develops an evil contemplative look on her face as the camera fades to black.] -------- "James Cameron, Mars, and 33 Degrees" and "James Cameron and the Hollywood Matrix" were written by Daniel Perez, and MiSTed by Roland Warner and Bill Livingston. "Mystery Science Theater 3000" trademark of and (c) Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by others is intended or should be inferred. This MiSTing is a parody, and not meant as an attack on Daniel Perez personally. Many very-appreciative thanks to the now-clinically insane Lori Holuta for trudging through this thing and doing a marvelous job of editing it! -------- > It is my impression that Mr. Cameron's films will be serious and > scientifically accurate.