Mystery Usenet Theater 3000: "A Legion-Size Meeting" By Doctor Thinker Misting by Matt Blackwell [Due to popular demand, tonight's story will be subtitled for the Thinker Impaired.] [Season 10 Opening] [The Bridge of the Satellite of Love] [Crow, Tom and Mike stand behind the command console, all wearing brightly colored sleeveless vests and looking rather confused.] Crow: So, vests, huh? Mike: [reservedly] Yeah. [Pause] Tom: Mike, I'm not feeling any hipper. Crow: Maybe these are defective. Mike: Wait. The folks in the commercial are singing while they're wearing them. Maybe that's the problem. Tom: Well, let's try it then. [The three begin to sing at the same time.] Crow: o/~ Quicker than a ray of light... o/~ Tom: o/~ If I had a rocket launcher... o/~ Mike: o/~ I wanna rock and roll all night... o/~ [The singing stops. The trio looks at each other.] Mike: I think we're supposed to sing the same song, guys. Tom: Oh. Crow: Okay, two, three, four... [They attempt to sing in unison again.] Crow: o/~ I just can't get enough... o/~ Tom: o/~ Gonna paint your wagon... o/~ Mike: o/~ Quicker than a ray of light... o/~ [The singing stops.] Mike: Guys? What are you doing? Crow: Singing. Tom: Duh, Mike. Mike: But those weren't even the same songs that you sang from the first go-around. Tom: And your point? Mike: Can we all sing the same song? Say, "Ray of Light"? Bots: [in unison] Ray of Light. Mike: [mumbling] I should have expected that one. [Normal] Never mind. Let's just continue on with this farce. A one, and a two... [The singing once again resumes, in faux unison.] Mike: o/~ My name is Mikey. I've got a nickel... o/~ Tom: o/~ Well, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum... o/~ Crow: o/~ I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over... o/~ [Thankfully, the Mads' light begins to flash.] Mike: Hang on, guys. The evil overlords are calling. [The bots continue singing.] Bots: o/~ Outside, inside out, Living la vida loca... o/~ [Mike, shakes his head and hits the light.] [Castle Forrester] [Pearl is dressed in a winter coat. Behind her, The Observer is dressed similarly. His brain is covered in a stocking hat with a little ball on the top. Bobo is dressed normally.] Pearl: Hey, Mike. Singing bots. I've got a cab waiting for me, so I'll make this fast. We've been invited to the Mad Scientists' Expo up in Aspen, so, unfortunately, we have to cancel this week's experiment. [SoL] Mike: Oh. That's a shame. Crow: We're really heartbroken about it. Tom: We'll get over it, though. You go and have fun. We'll be all right here. All alone. [Castle Forrester] Pearl: Oh, we're not leaving you alone. You'll escape, or raid my liquor cabinet or something bad. So... [The doorbell rings.] Bobo: I'll get it. [Bobo exits, stage right.] Pearl: Ah. That should be the sitter. [SoL] Crow: A sitter? Mike: Say? You didn't hire Steffi again did you? Tom: [Growl] [Castle Forrester] Pearl: No, she's sitting with this Calvin kid. A real hellion from what I've heard. [SoL] Tom: It's not Ortega, is it? [Castle Forrester] Pearl: He and Keith Richards are doing voice-overs for "Books on Tape" this weekend. [SoL] Crow: Well, who is it then? [Castle Forrester] Pearl: Well, here he is now. [Bobo enters, followed by a young man with disheveled hair, wearing a bright yellow trenchcoat and clasping a clipboard holding many sheets of paper.] [SoL] All: Oh no. [Castle Forrester] Doctor Thinker: Geetings Miek, small rebits. It is of my exteam plesure to be its to siter tooday of the baby. [Beneath Doctor Thinker, a set of subtitles appear.] Dr. T: [subtitles] Greetings, Mike, little robots. It is my extreme pleasure to be your baby sitter today. Pearl: As you can see, you'll be in good hands. Brain Guy! Bobo! Let's roll! Bobo: Shotgun! Observer: Bobo, I specifically called shotgun when we first planned this trip. Bobo: Too bad! Hee-hee-hee! [Bobo rushes offscreen.] Observer: Hey! Oh, blast! [The Observer also rushes off. Pearl begins moving towards the side of the stage.] Dr. T: It frogives me? Peerl? Dr. T: [subtitles] Excuse me? Pearl? Pearl: Huh? Oh, um, yes? Dr. T: Cold I ask what he is in its freezer? I presume that I can munch of waht I find therre. Dr. T: [Subtitles] Might I ask what is available in your freezer? I presume that I can partake of what I find there. Pearl: Um, yeah. Sure. Whatever. [A horn honks offscreen.] Pearl: Hold your horses! [to Thinker] Look, knock yourself out, Doc. I'll see you after the conference. [She exits quickly to the right. The screech of tires can be heard momentarily. Doctor Thinker turns towards the screen to address Mike and pals.] Dr. T: Complamints and saltuations, Mighael. Aotmoatons. Dr. T: [Subtitles] Greetings and salutations, Michael. Automatons. [SoL] All: Hi, Doctor Thinker. [Castle Forrester] Dr. T: I wait that you he is evertyhing ready for a waked weekend fast, becuase me I programed a plethora of the activities for us! First, we will be to carry going from the river! Then, he is it are to the hot springs whire we bask in its waters delightfully hto. Atfer that one, we are off to the sample of Broadway of the shown... Dr. T: [Subtitles] I hope that you're all ready for a fast paced weekend, for I've scheduled a plethora of activities for us! First, we shall be going river rafting! Then, it's off to the hot springs where we shall bask in their delightfully warm waters. After that, we're off to the hit Broadway show... [SoL] [Mike and Tom speak to each other animatedly, in hushed tones. Crow stares at the screen, engaged in thought.] Mike: Anything? Tom : I understand bits and pieces of it, but it's still mostly gibberish to me. Mike: Well, we've got to do something. Who knows what nefarious scheme he has in mind? Crow: Say, Doc? Why aren't you at the conference? [Castle Forrester] Dr. T: Well, nohting it always starts really carried through in those conferences. The rela work always strats done for is in the field. Additionally, who wants to associate in any way with this group of fulled shirts? Now, tomerrow, I have resarvations for we in Spago... Dr. T: [Subtitles] Well, nothing ever really gets accomplished at those conferences. The real work always gets done out in the field. Besides, who wants to associate with that bunch of stuffed shirts? Now, tomorrow, I have reservations for us at Spago... [SoL] Crow: Oh. I see. Mike: Look, you nefarious fool! We refuse to be pawns in whatever you're planning! Tom: Yeah! Just send us the story and get it over with! [Castle Forrester] Dr. T: [Confused] Stary? My expinsive freind, I do ont have any experiences for you in hte currint tim... Dr. T: [Subtitles] Story? My dear fellow, I don't have any experiments for you at the current time.... [SoL] Mike: No, no! We won't hear it! Just send us the story and get it over with. [Castle Forrester] Dr. T: Well, fi you too inisst... Dr. T: [Subtitles] Well, if you insist... [The good doctor looks through the papers attached to his clipboard.] Dr. T: I am ditsrusftul that teh only stery that I have is at this momment one tail tht detales a meteing enters legion of Superheroes and Supirgrrl called "A Legion- Size Meteing "... Dr. T: [subtitles] I'm afraid that the only story I have at the moment is a tale detailing a meeting between the Legion of Superheroes and Supergirl called "A Legion-Size Meeting"... [SoL] Mike: Spare us the details! Tom: You're evil! EVIL! Crow: What the devil are you two...? [Castle Forrester] Dr. T: Vury wheel. I will trasnmit histery now... Dr. T: [subtitles] Very well. I'll transmit the story now... [SoL] [The lights are flashing. Tom and Mike stand defiantly, shouting at the screen. Crow stares at his compatriots, jaw agape.] Tom: Rest assured, you'll never break us! Mike: Many worse than you have tried, Thinker! Crow: Great. We've got story sign. [Crow taps the flashing light with his beak, and the door sequence begins.] [6 . . . 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .] [The trio enters and takes their places.] Crow: Okay, what exactly are you two doing? Mike: We're standing up to the Doc's evil plans! Crow: What evil plans? He was taking us out to dinner and a show! Tom: How evil! Mike: Come on Crow, how could you possibly know what he was saying? Crow: I read his subtitles. Tom: Well, of course...huh? Mike: What subtitles? Crow: The ones right below him! Mike: Oh. Tom: Wait a minute! I didn't see any subtitles! Crow: That's because you were too cheap to upgrade to that DVD drive like *I* did. All I had to do was hit the right button... Mike: Sigh. Let's just sit back and take our medicine. >SUPERGIRL Crow: a.k.a. Chelsea Clinton. >& > >THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROS >In >"A Legion-Size Meeting" Tom: New "Legion-Size" at McDonald's! Enough fries to feed an army of Romans! Mike: So, it's a "medium" then? >by >Dr. Thinker > Crow: Brinking fanfic tothe intrenet sinze 9197! > >######################################### > >Note 1: Tom: See if I can blame "hypertime" for my grades this semester. > All characters are owned by DC COMICS. Crow: DC must have gone on a buying spree. MIke: Spiderman? He's DC's. Buffy? DC's. Dennis the Menace? DC's. Heathcliff and Catherine? DC's. >Note 2: If you like this, you can e-mail address is >winkstswo@sssnet.com. > Tom: And if you don't like it, well, you can always send it to bubba@whitehouse.gov. >######################################### > >Supergirl was exploring the andondon LexCorp warehouse for >Superman. Mike: She didn't know why Superman would be hanging out in an abandoned warehouse, but still she looked. > Superman heard rumors as that one of ex-LexCorp >members, was traveling to the future. Tom: Technically, every LexCorp member is travelling to the future, a milisecond at a time. > He aslo drestory any >reminders of the time machine, so it can't be rebuilt. Crow: Rogue spellcheckers threaten Internet! Film at 11! > Rumor >has aslo have Lex has the returning decivice in Luthor's >pocket. Mike: Much of Metropolis' gossip consists of who has what in their pockets. > Supergirl saw Luthor only one, while she was flying >durning thought Metroplis. She was remember of the lesser god >that Rao fighted often, Xel. Tom: Xel! The dreaded spreadsheet god! > Superman was afaird of Kryptonite, >one of his only weakness. The other two are a red sun or magic. > Tom: Actually, he's also susceptible to Raisin Nut Crunch. >Supergirl used her X-ray. It didn't work the way he thought. It >was lead. She cussed in Argoian. Mike: So, if you're Argoian, this story is rated [J-1/2]. > She heard voice a small >radio, she made. It was Superman's voice. > >"Supergirl." stated Superman voice. "Any question?" > Crow: [Supergirl] Yeah, what exactly is my origin again? Am I Kryptonian, or from Argo, or a blob of protoplasm, or an angel, or a tribute to Ripley or what? >"Why this is building maded out lead?" asked Supergirl. > Mike: Because it's easier to work with than pewter? >"I did some research on this, Supergirl, with Clark Kent. It >turn out that the building was to do research on Uramiun >durning the 40's, but durning early 1990, Lex was forced to >shut it down by the Order of the FDA." Tom: The Order of the FDA. Isn't that the 23rd level of the Masonic Initiations? Mike: Wow. Threaten to contaminate some candy, and the FDA swings the hammer down. > replied Superman's >voice. "He didn't shut it down until 1993, when Lois find out >that he was making weapons in it." > >Supergirl successly cover up her snicker. Mike: [Supergirl] Ack! I bought this at LexMart. No wonder it tasted uraniumy. > Only Kents, Lana Lang >and herself know that Clark Kent and Superman are one and the >same. > Crow: Well, them and every resident of Earth-Prime. Tom: They got retconned away 13 years ago, Crow. Crow: Hypert... Mike: Knock it off or else I start asking questions. Tom: You don't scare us, Mike. Mike: Okay. So, why isn't Richard Pryor in this? He was a really big bad guy in that one flick. And whatever happened to that clone of Superman's when he destroyed all the nukes? And does Superman still have that superkiss ability...? Crow: Okay! Enough! Tom: We'll argue continuity later. >"He sounds like Tor-Ag, one of Argoian Phantom Zoner." replied >Supergirl. Crow: He had those really wobbly knees. Remember? > "He was always give the Argo Police or Brainic >Guards, a hard time with his strange weapons." > Mike: Like the Poodle-Matic or the Philosopher Garden Weasel. >"Brainic Guards?" asks Superman. > >"Argoian's nickname for Kryptonian Police. They were cheifed >Brainic, himself." > Tom: Chief Brainiac? Crow: McCloud-El! >"I wonder if you race had a computer system." replied Superman. > Tom: [Supergirl] Sure! A really keen Tandy-Ex! >"Yes. Her name was Martix." replied Supergirl. Mike: But she was destroyed by Keanu Reeves. > "She left after >Brainic was created. "Her work was to restore Argo from a war >against itself, she finish her job on the same day I was born >on. Tom: Coincidence? Read the book! > She give the right to lead the counicl to my mother, the >Cheif Mecidinal Officer, Kalia In-Ze." > Mike: So, Kalia's In-Ze council, huh? I guess that's better than being In-Ze doghouse, huh? Huh? >Lucky, she was can't be hurt anything less then thunderstorm's >lighting. She was walking on broken glass. Mike: Oh, that's why she's dressed like a French noblewoman. Crow: Hugh Laurie makes a surprise guest appearance. > She saw water in the >room. She must have broken into the bathroom. She saw a old >broken staircase going up. It was broken in the middle. She >jump up. Tom: What's that sound? Crow: Here she comes, mooring clashing down cow. Mike: Maybe Diamond Dave and the Doc are related? > She saw the room was find with Kryptonite. Lucky, she >was immue to Kryptonite. Mike: She had that anti-Kryptonite booster earlier that year. > She saw a huge door. It looked a >bigger version of bank vault's. Crow: Drinking that liquid marked "Drink Me" might have been a bad idea, Kara. > She used her super-speed to >spin the vault's door handle faster then a speed of light which Tom: ...caused the space-time continuum to collapse, destroying the entire galaxy. >drilled a hole throw the door way opening to where blowtorches >and other items of heat was it. Lex might have melt money to >hide the blueprint. Crow: Or he might have run the blueprints through the paper shedder. Who knows? Mike: How do you melt money? Tom: Very carefully. > She reached in and find nothing. She find >half melted statue with some sticking out of it. > Crow: So, a stick figure is sticking out of the statue? Mike: The Kara In-Ze Project. Coming this fall. >"Superman, I think I find it. I know that statue is of Clusa >Tucasa, Tom: It's a statue of a New York Cabby? > a Japanese artist, but he always holdes a huge golden >and sliver version of the red and white sun Japanese flag. He's >holding a piece of crumb-up paper! Mike: It's a Twix wrapper! Crow: Boy, Luthor takes that "two for me, none for you" thing seriously. > It must be the blueprints." >replied Supergirl has she picked up the statue and make her way >out by slashing thought the walls. She landed safely in the >founation of a near-by park. > Tom: Okay, did she land in a fountain or the foundation? Crow: Both. It's a support structure that squirts water. >"MISSION: POSSIBLE!." Crow: Of course, if you or any of your operatives are caught or projected into the Phantom Zone, Brainiac will disavow any knowledge of your actions. > she shouted as she quicky took a brown >bear bookbag place near the fountain and run to alley to toss >on her shirt, shoes and jackets to cover up her Supergirl >outfit. Mike: Supergirl? Or Superexhibitionist? You be the judge. > To cover up her hair, she place a black wig over her >blonde hair, then stuff her lose hair into it. Crow: Then she began speaking in a Liverpudlian accent and pretending she was Ringo Starr. Tom: She's got a hole in her pocket! > It look more >real then that ol' rug she first try on. A brown one. She >places eyeglasses over her eyes. Tom: Because placing them over her elbow didn't seem to work. > Supergirl just become Kara >Kent, a cousin to Clark Kent. She was lucky, it was nighttime >and on comes in that fountain section of the park at nighttime. > Mike: Do you ever get the feeling that the Doc is just a huge Markov chain program? >######################################### > >She was just a few yards away from from S.T.A.R.S. Lab It was a >good time to hide and change back into Supergirl. She carefully >remove her human outfit, wig and eyeglass and place the thing >in her backbag. Crow: Wow. Looks like doughboy was right about the exhibitionist thing. Tom: Nah. Thinker's just doing a tribute to Starfire's scene in New Teen Titans #8. You remember? Back in 1980... Mike: And whatever happened to Wendy and Marvin? I mean, they just kinda vanished. And where is Apache Chief? Crow: Okay, okay. We get the point already. > She shaked her head and tooked out the blue >prints. She jump into the skylight.....forgeting only one >thing. It wasn't open! > All: D'oh! Mike: [Supergirl] Oh, great. Clark's going to ground me for this, I just know it! And I was going to the Backstreet Boys concert tonight! >########################################## > > > >The sound of broken glasses,quicky force the Man of Steel, to >protect his friend, Prof. Emiurl Hamilaton of S.T.A.R. Labs. > Crow: [Hamilton] Superman! This must be an attack from my archfoe, Professor Gallatin! >"SUPERGIRL!" shouted Superman. > >"I forget the skylight wasn't open." replied Supergirl as she >handle the blueprints to Superman. "Here you going Superman." > >Superman hands them to Prof. Hamilaton got back up. > Tom: Well, you ain't never going to keep Hamilton down. >"Well, let get creaking. Crow: Remove all WD-40 from the room immediately. Mike: Actually, we like the creaks – it lets us know she's still rocking. Crow: Where've I heard that before? Mike: I got it from some goddess. > Who knows many years those hired >gangsters got head us." replied Supergirl. > Mike: [Superman] Doc? Tom: [Hamilton] Her leaping through the glass must have scrambled her speech functions. I'll get started on a cure immediately. >"Years." asks Superman > >"Time Joke" replied Supergirl. > Crow: You'll get the punchline in about thirty years. >The room was silience as Supergir looked in strange at Superman >and Prof. Hamilaton. . > >"Tough crowd, tonight." replied Supergirl. > Crow: You're not kidding. Tom: We haven't even gotten one of Mike's usual giggles at his own jokes yet. Mike: Hey! >Saturday morning like "Scoody-Doo, Where Are You?" as well as >Drama based ones like "Sailor Knight.>, thought Superman. > > Crow: Both coming up next on the Cartoon Channel's "Toonal Wave"! Tom: "Captain Carrot and the Amazing Zoo Crew" must be on hiatus. >########################################## > > >Meanwhile in a LexCorp's black tower. In a nice office for a >ruthless shark-humaniod. Crow: The Shark? Cool. I didn't know he was an office jockey. Tom: Maybe this is a Green Lantern crossover too. > Namely, Lex Luthor, the Big Cheese of >LexCorp. > Tom: And new owner of the Cincinnati Reds. >"Well, the time jump work well. I tried to figure out >Superman's sercet indenity but a forcefield keep me out >Metroplis Superman Meusum . Mike: That's where Superman's muse hangs out. Crow: They keep a forcefield around the museum to keep those pesky tourists away. > Underground villains help and tell >me that Superman is based for the LEGION OF SUPERHEROS. Tom: Meaning that the constant revisions in his background inspired the LSH to do the same. >Adventures Heros that have many members, rumors has been >spreading that today, June 30, 2999, Mike: So, Supergirl's leaping into a Futurama episode? Crow: Leela must need a sparring partner. > will have a member of >Superman early family transport to the future. Most focus on a >different hair girls. The favorite color is blonde thought." >replied female human. > Tom: Supergirl, for Clairol Ultress. >"Mercy, just recently check for the statue, but it was missing. >Krypton was a bit much by footprints. Mike: Yeah, that's why they canceled all the walking tours of Kandor. > I heard reported from >S.T.A.R that Superman send his robot Supergirl to find the >blueprints. So expect that robot." replied Lex. > Tom: Oh no, my friend! No one expects... Bots: THE ROBOT INQUISITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >He heard a similar alien voice to Krypton male, Superman. >"Don't worry, we Daxxum on Earth has Superhearing, Lex. But our >weakness is lead. Crow: Well, that and those little crabcake things. Yum! > The only one that can over come that is a >member of LEGION OF SUPERHERO. But I heard he is a parade >tomorrow. Tom: Majorette Lad! > We will kill Supergirl and send her body back in >time. That might change history so well, that the LEGION will >be dissapear after then you can said 'The Time Trapper Trap >Traid On Top Of The Tritton Towers.', Lex." > Mike: Alliteration Police. Missy? Do you have a license for that sentence? >"Thanks for the information. If anyone comes back in time, you >can count on me to help you help." replied Lex. Crow: [Major Burns] It's nice to be nice to the nice. > "And Laurie, >might sure you make weapons that I can used to kill Superman." > Tom: [Laurie] Yes sir. One Raisin Nut Cluster Bomb Launcher coming right up. >"You can count on me, Lex" replied Laurie with wicked grin. > >########################################## > >Prof. Hamilaton wiped the greese of his hand. The machine was >finished in 1 and 1/2 week. Superman saw it was too big for a >pre-teen, but too small for adult, well over 18. Tom: Hamilton had originally built it for a GAP Kids store. Crow: Still, it was a comfy fit for Michael J. Fox. > Supergirl was >with him. > >"I propally with fight just right." replied Supergirl. "I bet >my Argoian family that she must have travel to the future. Most >cartoon show deals with future in the 2000 A.D. or farther. So >I'm quessing on 2999 A.D for us." > Mike: Uh-huh. Crow: Mike? When are those babel fish we ordered arriving? Mike: Value America has them on back order right now. >"Sounds good to me. Where should you arrive?" ask Superman. > >"Here sounds about good." replied Supergirl. > Tom: [Supergirl] On second thought, put me down near the Statue of Liberty. That way, I can do my Heston imitation. >"What day do you think?" ask Prof. Hamilaton. > >"Zugaton 98, 4359." answer Supergirl. > Crow: Oh too bad. She should have made one of her lifeline calls. >"Zugaton 98, 4359?" asked Superman. > >"Oops. Argoian's vesion. Zugaton was the first month of Summer >on Argo. Change that to June, for this planet. According to >Kents's, that's the first month of summer." replied Supergirl. Mike: Of course, the Kents also think that the four food groups are ice cream, graham crackers, Tolberone and beets, so I wouldn't trust their information too much. >"And 98 is last day of the last month of that month.. Tom: But Zugaton only has 16 days! Crow: And they're called Moonday, Lukday, Svenday, 23, pi, a squiggley mark, Steve, lk'kdl , Belgium, Kltpzyxm, Rowsdower, thatdaythatnoonelikestodiscuss, [click], Hasting, TGIN, and 98! Mike: Plus that last month of the month thing. Let's face it. The Argonian calendar seems to be rather poorly designed. > I think a >thousand to the present year, if Argo was doom to iced over." > Mike: That must have been when Jim Carrey won the Best Acting Oscar. >"That's means, you will be traveling to June 30, 2999." replied >Prof. Hamilaton. > Crow: [Hamilton] That's a Sunday, so if you could do me a favor and tape that week's episode of 'The Simpsons', I'd appreciate it. >Supergirl jump into the time machine as the Prof. enter the >date and hit the start button...... > Tom: Then he sheepishly remembered to plug the machine in. >##########---ZAP!!!---########################## > Mike: [Hamilton] Oh blast. This isn't the time machine. This is that contraption I bought from the Romeo Frankenstein estate. Oh well. Superman? Could you mop up your cousin for me? > >"I'm completing facts and figures on these rumors. Now we know >this is the rumor date of the appearance of a figure of >Superman's early years durning the late 1990's, 1996-1999 to be >'right on the money', as a old human once said. Mike: That person? Superman's pal, Martin Lawrence. > Now, what was >this place before it." replied Gates, ant-like humaniod. > Tom: Actually, he's more caterpillar-ish than ant-like. >"That would be S.T.A.R. Lab.. " replied Brainic 5. He was >nicknamed Brainy by the follow members of the Legion of >Superheros. He, Gates, Saturn Girl and Comic Boy, Mike: Okay, I give. What are his powers? Crow: Well, he either tells painfully unfunny puns... Tom: Or he can trap people by putting them in mylar bags. > and Charmelon >Boy was talking about the rumors, Mike: Okay, that's a Pokemon character, right? Crow: Actually, yes. > since last battle with the >Legion's villian, Time Trapper. Saturn Girl got lucky to open a >old memories andseeing Time Trapper as young kid in the Legion >of Superhero themselves and no other then a founding member, >Comic Boy, himsef. Mike: So, he's a time traveling comic collector then? Tom: It makes it much easier to get a full set. > No wonder, that mild melt work so well. > Tom: Mind melt, a blend of vermouth, vodka, tequila and baking soda. Ask for it at your local bar! Mike: Brought to you by the Booze Council. >"Well, it's not Clark Kent/Superboy we know from before the >Crisis. Tom: After all, he was black and looked like Wesley Snipes. Crow: Well, at least Thinker pays as much attention to continuity as Byrne does. > that was explain when we end up in 1979 to force see a >early Clark fight Brainic, he was a young teenage who was >afaird of his powers, but not up to using to save his family." > Mike: Oh, and he occasionally would make diamonds out of coal to support his Beanie Baby habit, but that's all! >A machine appear in the mist. Crow: Jane Goodall soon began to study it. > It looked like it was the first >time it wasbuilted. Tom: Uh huh. And then what? > Saturn Girl got brave and open of the door. >Out troumble a copycat of her in almost everway expect for sexy >costume. Crow: And the 1970s Irma Ardeen stops by to say 'hi'! > She brinked twice and shugged. > >Comic Boy looked "At least blone hair girl rumors are half- >right.". Mike: [Comic Boy] Now, all we need to do is see if she owns a schnauzer and a flugelhorn... > Gate just give Comic Boy at strange look. > Tom: [Gates] Really, why exactly were you elected leader of this outfit? The potted plants make more sense than you. >Brainic's electric eye almost pop of out of his face system. Crow: But, thanks to his Pop-o-Matic Head, the eye remained safely contained. >His jaw was open so wide that you can stuff a fork, knife and >spoon, and full cup of you favorite liquid and still have room >for a plate of food. > Mike: When Metaphors Attack! This Sunday on Fox! >For a while, slicence happen, but thanks to the Crisis planted >inside Comic Boy. > Tom: The Crisis seems to have destroyed the end of the sentence. Mike: Hopefully, it'll get the rest of the story too. >"Now are we dealing with Krypton's Kara Zor-El version or >something differnet?" ask Comic Boy. > Crow: [Comic] Did Marvel send one of those Imperial Guardsmen over here again? >"Won't know until she's get up." replied Saturn Girl. "And >she's getting up. > Tom: And nothing gets her down. Crow: Well, she's got it tough. Mike: Still, she's seen the toughest go round. >"This isn't S.T.A.R Labs?" ask the girl as she standed. Mike: [Glenda] No, Dorothy! You're in the magical land of Oz! Tom: [Phantom Girl] o/~ I represent the Bzztgian Guild! The Bzztgian Guild! The Bzztgian Guild! o/~ > Saturn >Girl saw that she was wearing a short white tank top with a >"S", her half-cape hand nice from her back of her top. Her blue >mini-skirt was nice, but if Saturn Girl, was the early >Superman, Crow: She is? Mike: This must be that DC Comics/Ranma crossover we keep hearing so much about. > instead of reminder Kara to stay out of trouble, she >would ask her to cover up her bellybutton. Crow: Aw! Come on! She's just emulating Jennifer Aniston! Tom: It's the Legion of Super Prudes! > She was wearing >white gloves on her hands And a pairs of red boots on her leg. > > Mike: Superman asked her to wear them on her feet, but these kids these days and their wacky fashions... >"Supergirl?" asked Saturn Girl. > >"Yes." replied Supergirl. "So what's is place?" > Crow: You're in the village! Can we call you Number 413? >"The Headquaters of the Legion of Superheros. I'm Saturn Girl." >answers Saturn Girl. Point to a human-size ant. "That ant is >Gates." > Tom: [Gates] I am not an ant! [mumbling] Ooh, you'll be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes, missie... >"I'm Comic Boy. Supergirl. Kara Zor-El?" asks Comic Boy. > Crow: Hey! Pick an identity and stick with it! >"No. Kara In-Ze." replied Supergirl. > > >"You NOT A KRYPTONIAN?" Mike: [Comic Boy] Quiet, Bizarro Boy. > >"No way, I'm Argoian." replied Supergirl. Tom: Argo seems to have been located in the Valley. > "But both Argoian and >Kryptoniad have come from the same decents." > Mike: Just before the Pluto mission. >"Lovely." Brainic 5 stated in what. "Totally Lovely.". Tom: [foppish] Marvelous! Simply scrumptious, my dear! >Supergirl didn't know that his hand were about to cover up her >bellybutton. > Mike: Ooookay. Crow: We're learning a bit too much about Brainiac's fetishes. >"That system failure voice is Brainic 5." replied Comic Boy. >"He is decent of Martix and the Brainic, Mike: o/~ They're Martix and the Brainic. Martix and the Brainic. o/~ > the orbs, not the >robot body." > Crow: Brainiac is the only character in DC continuity to have descended from the framing device in "Heavy Metal." >She looked down and saw that Brainic 5 has her hands around her >bellybutton. Mike: [Brainiac] Er? Just checking for a heartbeat. This is where you Argonians have your hearts, right? > She quicky lift Brainic 5 up and toss him in >farest left hand cover and he landed with a THUD! on the floor. > >"Well, took like Brainy in for some touch love." replied Gates. > Tom: Well, he better not do it, or he'll go blind. >" Brainy?" asked Supergirl. > >Saturn Girl answer here. "It's the Legion's nickname for >Brainic 5. Come up by Gates and Comic Boy, durning our first >year. By the end of the second years, everone here calls him, >Brainy." > Mike: [Saturn Girl] Granted, that make things a bit confusing when Bob Brainy shows up... >"I hope you don't run on Window 98." replied Gates. > Tom: [Gates] Oh, fine. He gets my name right for the Windows joke. [mumbling] After I take care of Saturn Girl, I'm coming after you, Thinker.... >"Funny. Very funny." replies Brainic. "Window 98 is so old, Mike: That's right. Windows 2000 came out almost two years ago. >that it oler then R.J's himself." > Crow: Well, of course. R.J.'s six. >"Who's R.J" replied Supergirl. > >"I'm R.J." said a old man with no hair. Bots: AHHHH!!!! It's Shatner! Mike: It's not Shatner. Crow: AHHHH!!!! It's Ted Danson! Mike: Stop it. > "After Comic Boy, >Lighting Lass and Saturn Girl save me. I repay them by helping >them by creating a police force call the Legion of Superheros. Mike: So, he rewards them by putting them in a position where they'll constantly be in dangerous situations? >Some of the present day superhero nickname, 'Club Hero'." > Crow: Just call your time travel agent for the best deals. >"Reports has return that superpower Daxxums, as strick a few >museum, then aslo have stolen a machine that ." R.J statred. Tom: ...steals the end of a sentence? Mike: This seems to be a common problem today. >"Legion, you better get on a ball." > Crow: [R.J.] We've got that superhero talent show later this week, and we'll need to be in top form to beat the Amazing Amazers' banjo revue. Mike: Wow, even in the 30th Century, Janet Jackson's still doing videos! >He was slience by the appearance of Supergirl. > >"Daxxum?" answer Supergirl. > Tom: I never even Erzi'd 'um! >"They were another race that has Superpowers on a planet that >doesn't have a red sun, similar to Kryptonian and Argoian, >expect there are bit more rock head." > Tom: Rock head? Crow: They're big fans of Y+T and Trixster. Tom: So, they're like superpowered versions of Mike then? Mike: Hey! >"So they look ancient statues?" ask Supergirl. > >"That's not a bad guess." replied Saturn Girl as she turn on >her flight ring.. Mike: And Saturn Girl instantly slammed into the ceiling at 300 kph. > Brainic 5, Gates, Comic Boy turn on their >flight wing as Supergirl jump into the air and floating out the >door. > >"Who was that teenage copycat of Saturn Girl?" ask R.J. > Crow: [R.J.] It wasn't Hedra Carlson, was it? >An humaniod ball bounce in. > Mike: [R.J.] Never mind. Gumby Guy will tell me. >"That's was Supergirl. Kara In-Ze." replied Bouncing Ball Boy. >"If you don't belive me, you can check the tapes!" > Tom: Whoops. Nixon Boy just cut 17 1/2 minutes out of them. >########################################### > > >Laurie Lung was shouting orders at another measum, Crow: I suppose she was shouting at the top of her Lungs. Mike: And here come her evil henchmen, Eddie Esophagus and Butch Bladder. > when a >Daxxum name Cik Ruci said something. > Mike: But since he's not a character in our story, let's just ignore him, shall we? >"LEGION COMING!" replied Cik. > Tom: [Laurie] Blast! The Romans are using those "roads" of theirs. No matter. Follow me, my Celts! >Tik Kaa, Crow: I wonder if she's a sidekick to Doc Torr? > another Daxxum, replied but "Look to be Saturn Girl, >Comic Boy, Gates and Brainic 5. But who's the new female. She's >not wearing a legion's belt or fight ring." > Mike: And that outfit is just so last week! >"I think I know who that's it. Did you have that item that can >drestory any robot." replied Laurie. > Tom: What? A daffodil? Crow: Tom! Shh! Stop giving away our weakness! >"Right here." replied Tik. "Let's get her out. I don't want to >fight a Superpowerful girl, even if she's a robot!!" > Tom: I guess that rules out the upcoming Tik/Vicki the robot fight. >Lung took the machine and it prush it' point. Crow: Esperanto? Latin? Klingon? Tom: If you can figure out what language is being spoken here, just send us a note and you'll be entered to win a fabulous prize! > The computer >voice stated. >"No robots in the area." replied. > Mike: Good. You two shouldn't be in an area in the first place. Crow: Spoilsport. >The third Daxxum, Juk Tiun, "It's the real deal. Let me hand >with those Supergirl." > Mike: Wow. His diction is worse than Jar-Jar's. >Lung asks Tik. "Is he's always that nutty?" > Tom: [Tik] He just watched 18 hours of the Three Stooges. >Tik replied. "He just getting warn up." > >She got a place of blaster from Brainic's hand. > Crow: Place of Blaster! A companion show to House of Style! >"Let's muscle them up!" Brainc joked. > Mike: Ah, who am I kidding? We're wimps! Aunt May can beat us up! Heck! Hector Hamond's physical form can whoop us! >"Bad joke, Brainy" replied Gates as he headbutt Tik, in her >hip area. > Tom: And this hurts an indestructible person because...? >Supergirl was dealing with Juk who was flying over and give her >some hand punches. Mike: [Juk] Hey, how about a nice Hawaiian Hand Punch? Tom: [Supergirl] Sure! > As Comic Boy using his magic power to find >any piece of lead. Tom: So since when is *lead* susceptible to *magnetism*?!? Mike: It's not, so it's a darn good thing he's got magic to fall back on. Crow: Well, It's not so much magic as it is the power of illusion. > Lucky, old shapeship, which suprizing >contain lead. Mike: The Spemin must have made that one. Tom: Unlucky old audience, which unsuprizing, goes mad from grammatical dysphoria! > Daxxum failed day. > Crow: But they got away with the prepositions and articles. Mike: Not to mention the adverbs. >"We got a human to deal with!" replied Saturn Girl. > >Supergirl fly over the hand and lift her up. "We going to take >you back to Lex via time machine." > >"Nice idea." replied Saturn Girl. > Crow: Well, she could wait for the universe to contract, go through another Big Bang, and wait another 5 bilion years and hand her over to Luthor then... Mike: She'd do that, but there's a new episode of "Friends" tonight that she really wants to see. >Laurie Lung just mutters the unprinted words. > Mike: We'd tell you what they were, but then they wouldn't be unprinted anymore. >########################################### > >It was two weeks later. In a bigger time machine, Laurie Lung >had a old fashion handcuffs. They was room on one more. > Crow: So, they handcuffed Bondage Boy too. Then they released him when he started demanding to be spanked. >"Well, before you go, Supergirl. I like to make you a member of >the Legion of Superheros. He is a flight ring and a belt." >replied Saturn Girl. > Tom: [Saturn Girl] You really need to accessorize, girlfriend. I'd give you a scarf, but I gave my last one to Cross Dressing Kid. >"Are you nuts?" ask Comic Boy. > >"I tell you later, Comic Boy." replied Saturn Girl. > Crow: Later... Mike: [Saturn Girl] Yes, I *am* nuts! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHGH! HOOHOO! >############---ZAP!!!---####################### > >Lex was busying peacing on his next plan on giving Superman, a >good douse of humanity. Crow: He just needed to round up those three ghosts for Christmas Eve.... Tom: Peace out, Lex! > When a bigger time machine, arrived. >He saw a red hair, Laurie Lung handchug and pround Supergirl >holding her. > Mike: Remind me when we get out of the theater to look for a Thinker-English Rosetta Stone. >"Loser." replied Lex. "Nice, if I take her off your hands." > >"Not a change, you big Argon fourhead shark." replied >Supergirl. > Mike: Is that like a Neon Genesis Evangelon? Crow: No, it's when you grow a fin on your forehead. >As Lex tried to force Supergirl to let go of the black haired >Laurie Lung. They didn't know that Laurie has a wicked smile >from ear to ear. > Tom: In fact, her smile was so wide that you could stuff a fork, knife, spoon, and a full cup of your favorite liquid and still have room for a plate full of food. >########################################## > >"STOP THE PRESS!" shouted Lois Lane. "LEX MEETS SUPERGIRL!" Crow: PEARL HARBOR BOMBED! ROOSEVELT DECLARES WAR! Mike: GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! Tom: EXTRY! AMERICA INVADED! READ ALL ABOUT IT! > >Clark Kent was awaked by Lois Lane. "Did I heard you right?" > Tom: [Clark] I mean you were yelling so loud.... >"Right as rain, Smallville." replied Lois Lane. > Crow: Right as rain on your wedding day. It's a... Mike: Okay. We've filled our Alanis quota for today. Let's just leave it there, okay? >########################################## > > >A week later in Metroplis City Jail. "You have a vistor. I got >to tell with another vistor. Behave." groans a guard. > Mike: Metropolis Jail! A friendly place! Crow: I'll just leave your cell unlocked. Don't escape, okay? Tom: You need to borrow my car? Sure! Why not? >"Nice work, Lena. You got my ruthless down to science." replied >Lex grinning, he was holding a open shark bookbag. > Crow: A fourheaded shark bookbag. Mike: [Lex] Look! I've got all of Ayn Rand's works in here! If you read them, it'll change your life, Lena. >Lena remove her black wig. Under her was a huge amount of red >hair. Tom: Looks like she's shedding. > She something out of box Lex" > Tom: Oh no! Tell me this isn't going to be a "Boxing Helena" crossover, too! >"Time my female copycat returns to Midville, Kanas." Lex >laughed and so did Lena. > Mike: [Lena] Right. Like I'd ever be caught dead in that flyspeck. It's back to Beverly Hills for me! >"GUARD!" Lex shouted. "Laurie Lung hyposite by daughter, Lana >Luthor into prentending to be her!" > Mike: [Guard] Quiet in there! I'm watching my stories! Crow: Okay, if Lana Luthor is his daughter, who's Lena Luthor then? Tom: I'm still trying to figure out the "sitting on the hair" thing. >"Great! We going to be up in hairs!" > Tom: Shedding crisis hits Metropolis! Film at 11! >########################################## > >At she proint Smallville, Kanas, a small burg just a hip, skip >and jump from Midville, Kanas. Crow: Which is just down the road from Kinda Largeville, Kansas, which is about a half hour from Good Sizedville, Kansas. > She saw strange headline on the >Midville Times, > >"SUPERGIRL MAKES A DENT IN THEIF CARS" > Mike: The ring of evil, bank robbing cars had finally been broken by the Lass of Steel. >And Smallville Local Places > >"SUPERGIRL SMASH WOULD-BE DAM DRESTORYER" > Tom: So, Supergirl beat up a guy telling stories about Dr. Dre on a dam? Mike: This is sooo confusing. >Lena thought to herself. Supergirl are going to sleep with the fishes. Crow: [Lena] I just have to find out when Aquaman is having that slumber party... > Ever if I do it >was by last breath.> > >"Lenal, wher have you been! We been looking all over for you." >replied Lena's mother. > Tom: Why, your brother is searching for you in Zaire right now! >"Coming ma." replied Lena. > >######################################## > >"So what do you do, Saturn Girl?" ask Gates. > Tom: [Saturn Girl] Oh, I work for this really old guy, as part of his little teenage death squad. Oh, and I'm romantically torn between these two other clowns in the group. Mike: Saturn Girl; a superpowered Felicity. >"Well, the belt and rig has mixture which I made from Agus >flowers, Mike: Okay, what are Agus flowers? Crow: I think it's the 30th century equivalent of "Wildwood Weed". Tom: Here's pansies, that's for thought. And here's Agus flowers, that's for spelling. > she can't fulling reminder everything she learn in >his time period, but will reminder if she returns the future." >replid Saturn Girl. > Mike: And remember, before you return the future – be kind, rewind. >"Well, that gives won't give her much a edge." replied Brainic >5. "All wells, that ends well." > >"I doubt it." replied Comic Boy. > > Mike: He's really pessimistic for a comic. Tom: His secret ID is probably Gary Shandling. Crow: At least his hair is okay. >#############THE END##################### Tom: Or is it? BWHA-HA-HA!!!! > > >? Lena Luthor is based merger of the Pre-Crisis Lex >Luthor, and her Post-Crisis role as daughter of Lex >Luthor. > Tom: So, she's her own daughter then? Mike: I'll never know how you guys keep all of this straight. Crow: We use lots of Post-It notes. > >? In both Pre-Crisis and Post-Crisis, Brainic 5 loves >Supergirl > Crow: Well, the Biernbaums had him lusting after trees for a while, but that was retconned. >? Speaking of the Legion. Supergirl is been the twin of >Saturn Girl for a few times with a few changes. > Tom: o/~ 'cause they're cousins! Identical cousins! o/~ >? Aslo speaking of them. Comic Boy is really the Time >Trapper. It was reveal in durning Zero Hour in their >books. Mike: DC made a mini series based on a song from "Valley Girl"? > >Reason: I want to add a villain who will keep Superman and >Supergirl on their toes. > > Mike: [Thinker] And the Aerobicizer was too lame, even for me. Tom: Let's roll, guys. [Mike lifts Tom up and the trio exits the theater.] [1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . .] [The Bridge. Tom, Crow and Mike stand behind the console, shaking their heads.] Mike: Well, that was... um... Crow: About the same as every other Doc Thinker story? Mike: Yep. Tom: Does everyone else feel like their brain just went through a Cuisinart? Mike: Yep. Crow: Well, there's only one way to cleanse ourselves from the aftermath of a Doc Thinker piece! [Silence. Mike and Tom stare at Crow. After a few moments, Mike speaks up.] Mike: And that would be...? Crow: Oatmeal cookies! [Another pause.] Mike: We don't have any. Crow: Oh. Well, there's one other way too. [Pause.] Tom: Crow? You want to speed this up a bit? Crow: Sure thing. We need... a big musical number! Mike: We do? Tom: Yeah! Crow's right! A big musical number is exactly the thing that we need! Mike: It is? Crow: Why sure! Tom: Hit it, Cambot! [In the background, the sounds of an orchestra swell to life, and the opening strains of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Modern Major General" can be heard. The bots begin to sing.] Tom: o/~ Far, far from now there is a group of super teens who make their home. o/~ Crow: o/~ In Metropolis in y-three-k; out in the stars they like to roam. o/~ Tom: o/~ The teens get funds from RJ Brande, a lord of the economy. o/~ Crow: o/~ He's younger than good old Dick Clark, but he's older than Ptolemy. o/~ Tom: o/~ They meet inside a pointy ship that's retro as a hula- hoop. o/~ Crow: o/~ But whose design's about as flawed as living in a fruity- loop. o/~ Tom: o/~ They're gathered here from many worlds to fight the grasp of evil! o/~ Crow: o/~ There's guys and girls, and snakes and such and one who's a boll weevil. o/~ [Mike interrupts. The singing ceases, but the music continues unabated.] Mike: [normal voice] I thought that you said he wasn't... Crow: [normal] We're allowed artistic license, Mike! Tom: Ahem. Crow: Sorry. Got a bit sidetracked there. [The bots jump back into the rhythm of the song.] Tom: o/~ When troubles strike the universe, they're rushing off and battling, o/~ Crow: o/~ And when the bad guys put them down, it's off to Brande they're tattling. o/~ Tom: o/~ They fly with rings that Brainy made from element one-fifty-two. o/~ Crow: o/~ There's also purple aliens who give them clothes and rad hairdos. o/~ Tom: o/~ When Mordru does his magic schtick and Khunds come bashing through the wall, o/~ Crow: o/~ There's only one thing left to do; o/~ Bots: o/~ Let's have a Legion Roll Call! o/~ Tom: o/~ There are so many super-youths, it can be hard to keep much track. o/~ Crow: o/~ So before the roll call, you might want to go and grab a snack! o/~ [The bots sing a ragged chorus.] Bots: o/~ So before the roll call, you might want to go and grab a snack! So before the roll call, you might want to go and grab a snack! So before the roll call, you might want to go and grab a snack! o/~ Mike: [normal] Fair enough. I think I'll do just that... Bots: GET BACK HERE, MIKE! Mike: All right, all right. Sorry. [The bots jump back into the song.] Tom: o/~ There's Monstress, a lovely girl with variable pigmentry. o/~ Crow: o/~ Projectra, whose creations are broad but only figment'ry o/~ Tom: o/~ Lar Gand, who was rescued from the Phantom Zone by Superboy, o/~ Crow: o/~ And Bouncing Boy, round and blue, just like a big ol' pool toy! o/~ Tom: o/~ Gates, who zaps from place to place and who's a stalwart Leninite. o/~ Crow: o/~ And Alchemist, who changes lead into gold, zinc or selenite o/~ Tom: o/~ Ultra Boy, whose powers suffer from too much exclusivity o/~ Crow: o/~ The Ranzz twins and their brother, those masters of conductivity! o/~ Tom: o/~ Brainy knows his I.Q.'s high; but Timberwolf's is less than keen. o/~ Crow: o/~ I guess you get such leadership when votes are given to the teens! o/~ Tom: o/~ There's Fluron Lass and Party Girl (Who's really Parker Posey!) o/~ Crow: o/~ Mr. Furious, The Bowler too, who dresses in brown hosiery. o/~ Tom: o/~ There's Spidergirl, the Flash and Bob, they're masters all at stopping crime o/~ Crow: o/~ Okay, so we've messed up on some, but that's the fault of hypertime! o/~ [Tom breaks out of the song and speaks normally.] Tom: Come on, Mike! Join us! Mike: Oh, all right. All: o/~ So we've survived this fanfic which made us feel such unkept disgust. Until next time when even worse ones will be shoveled up, we trust. For now, we'll vegetate and wait, until events do reoccur. There's only one thing left to say: What do you think, sirs? o/~ [As the trio holds the extended note, Mike hits the light, and we return to ...] [Castle Forrester] [Doc Thinker, looking even more confused than normal.] Dr. T: Well, the one, that uncommon age. It is even for me. Perhaps Hmm. I must institate some resarch in if my parts of santiants of the cause of fiction blow up in the song... Dr. T: [subtitles] Well, um, that was unusual. Even for me. Hmm. Perhaps I should instigate some research into whether my pieces of fiction cause sentients to burst into song... [Off in the distance, we can hear doors flying open, and moments later, Bobo, Observer and Pearl trudge into view, looking quite angry.] Dr. T: Ahoy-hoy. Mistress Forrester. What bings it stops backwards of its trip thus early? Dr. T: [Subtitles] Ah. Mistress Forrester. What brings you back from your trip so early? Pearl: What? Oh, Brain Guy, you deal with Mr. Incomprehensible. I need a drink. Observer: I too need to partake of some refreshment. Bobo? If you'll do the honors? Bobo: Sure thing! Hidey-ho, Doctor Thinker! Dr. T: Complaments, son of oh of Koko. What brings it stops backwards the o its damocile? Dr. T: [subtitles] Greetings, oh son of Koko. What brings you back to your domicile? Bobo: Oh, apparently there was some sort of mixup in the invitations. It wasn't actually a Mad Scientist Convention. It was a Mad Ski Instructors Convention. The Lawgiver was furious after she saw that they stole her "Ski Lift of Death" idea. Dr. T: I vee. Wel, must I inform the peoples in as to changed a member of our comunitee esteamed? Dr. T: [subtitles] I see. Well, should I inform the people on how to become a member of our esteemed community? Bobo: Sure thing! Dr. T: In all the case, if you to like to join the world walked fast of maisting, it joins only the a stack of Dibs of the authors of MyiSTing, emitting an email too majordomo@neylonpc.engin.umich.edu with the message " subscribe dibslist [name> of ]" in the message body. And now, back to you, Bobo. Bobo: Thanks, Doc! We'll see you later. Dr. T: Until the folowing time, then. [He exits.] Dr. T: [Subtitles] Until next time, then. Bobo: Well, I better find the Lawgiver before she starts singing. [murmuring] If she starts "Closing Time" one more time, I am soooo out of here.... [Bobo exits.] [SoL] [The trio stares at the screen.] Mike: Um? Hello? Crow: Bobo? Tom: Observer? Mike: Pearl? Crow: John Boy? Tom: I guess they're just going to leave us on all weekend. Crow: Well, you know what that means... Bots: More singing! o/~ We are the famous Satellite of Love and we are an intrepid misting crew! o/~ [Mike reaches over and thankfully severs the connection with a ....] \ | / \ | / --- * --- PWOOOOSH! / | \ / | \ "A Legion-Size Meeting" Orginiail stary by Dock Thinkier [Original story by Doc Thinker] Mistieded by Rugg Welll good as darkness [Misted by Matt Blackwell ] Pooredeng by Biel Rock of being Alivenesses adn Serra Diving. [Proofreading by Bill Livingston and Sara Dove] Supergirl, The Legion of Superheroes, Superman, Lex Luthor, and Gates: the Commie Bug and all related characters and situations are the trademarks and copyright of DC Comics and Time Warner Communications. All rights reserved. Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and copyright of Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for non-commercial parody, review, and commentary purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc., DC Comics, Time Warner Communications. or anyone else, is intended or should be inferred. No personal insults to author(s), character(s), or situation(s) are or should be implied. All characters in this work are fictional , and any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental. "A Legion-Size Meeting" was brought to you by Old Mistie! o/~ Old Mistie! Old Mistie! Old Mistie Performance Fleece! o/~ "Modern Legion" was written by Doug Atkinson, Matt Blackwell, Dave Rust, Matthew Miller, and Michael "Rottweiller" Wallen. [Castle Forrester, exterior shot.] [Doc Thinker leans idly against a wall.] Dr. T: [mumbling] I desire that I had remembereding that I kneaded a home the stroll. Well of the Oh. Dr. T: [subtitles] I wish I had remembered that I needed a ride home. Oh well. [The screen once again goes black.] Keep circulating the posts. Twaaaaang. 11/7/99 ------------------------------------------------------------------- >He saw a red hair, Laurie Lung handchug and pround Supergirl >holding her. -------------------------------------------------------------------